Breakfast Sandwich #134 - Faircrest Bakery & Cafe aka These Are Words With A "D" This Time

Sandwich: Croissandwich
Location: Faircrest Bakery & Cafe
Date: April 30, 2019
Cost: $6.99

I don't know how you're supposed to spell croissandwich. Burger King removes the "d" and puts an apostrophe in there which seems a bit highfalutin for a place that serves ultra-crappy breakfast sandwiches and managed to plague a neighborhood with rats due to their shoddy dumpster and refuse handling practices. Gross. I'm not even sure why Burger King is messing around with croissants, they haven't earned that privilege. 

Faircrest Bakery & Cafe (web site down at time of publication - Ed.) is in that cute little strip mall on Mineral Point Road just west of Cuna Mutual. They spell croissandwich with a "d" but I'm still uncomfortable with the word. I just don't care for it but that's my problem and I'm not going to hold it against the sandwich.

On this Tuesday morning I happened to be in the area and stopped in to see if they could serve me a breakfast sandwich. Worst case scenario is I come away with a muffin or a scone. My sandwich senses were right on - they have a breakfast sandwich croissandwich on the menu!

This is a terrible photo even by my standards.

Turkey sausage wrapped in a blanket of chicken egg.

The Sandwich - Croissandwich. It's the only breakfast sandwich on the menu and the only option they offer is bacon or "all natural" turkey sausage. It occurred to me that I'd never had turkey sausage on a breakfast sandwich and that was an opportunity I couldn't pass up even though it felt a little weird. I'm not sure what the "all natural" part is - no nitrates added, maybe? I'm not going to get all FDA on this and do any research so I'll just go with my assumption. From the first bite I did not regret getting the sausage - it was fantastic. I immediately wondered why turkey sausage isn't offered on more breakfast sandwiches. The only cheese choice is cheddar but it worked well with the turkey sausage and there was just enough to give the sandwich a bit of goo factor since they don't serve the egg runny. I've complained about croissants used for sandwiches in the past - they often don't hold up. In this case it worked well and was a nice squishy bread choice. I assume they make the croissants on site, they are a bakery after all. I ordered this to go and while I didn't go far the foil wrapping may have caused the sandwich to steam itself a bit, which did not detract from my enjoyment and may have even enhanced it.

The Result - 4.15 These Are Words With A "D" This Time out of 5 These Are Words With A "D" This Time. This was a very good breakfast sandwich. It was made to order, but only took a couple of minutes, and held up after a short drive. Turkey sausage deserves your consideration when offered and I feel like I should say this even though it's dumb - it tasted just like sausage! Anyway, this is a simple, tasty and filling sandwich. At $6.99 it's a touch on the pricey side but it's a quality sandwich served by a local, independently owned business that is worthy of our support. I've had enough of Panera, thanks, but no thanks. From what I've read about Faircrest Bakery while researching this review I'd like to try some of their baked goods but I'm not sure when I'll be back in the area. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Lab Sandwiches Submitted For Peer Review

Several weeks ago I compiled a list of the Top 25 Breakfast Sandwiches of All Time with the thought that the list would be the most useful, if not the most popular, post on this site.

Today we examine the yang to that yin - a compilation of all of the Lab Reports filed up to this date. It is well established that nobody cares about lab sandwiches but that's because we live in a society that doesn't value science. In The Lab STEM stands for Sausage, Toast, Eggs and Muffins and we don't shy away from exploring hard data even if the reports end up being the opposite of click bait.

Another complaint about the Lab Reports is that there are too many of them. We now have the numbers to evaluate that statement rather than accept it at face value. Of 133 sandwiches 27 of them were Lab Sandwiches. That breaks down to 20.3% of sandwich reports coming from the lab which strikes me as a near perfect ratio. We aim to educate here and Lab Reports are part of making the readers of this blog the most informed breakfast sandwich consumers on the planet. We apologize for nothing.

This is not a cooking blog.

#2 - The Debut Lab Sandwich. Bacon
#3 - Vegetarian
#4 - Leftover Chicken Wings
#10 - Bacon, Avocado, Red Pepper, Onion, Spinach
#72 - Bacon, Kale & Swiss Cheese
#74, #75, #76 - New Toaster Oven
#77, #78 - More New Toaster Oven Madness
#79 - A Two Cheezer Jobber
#82 - Steak, Arugula, Blue Cheese
#87 - Bacon, Pimento Cheese
#89, #90 - Nueske's Ham, first attempt at Mason jar lid "puck" egg
#91 - Farm Fresh Eggs, Double Decker
#105 - Thanksgiving Leftovers
#106 - Summer Sausage
#107 - Mac 'n Cheese
#108 - Leftover Honeybaked Ham
#113 - Biscuits
#115 - Cheese Spread, Soft Scramble Eggs
#120 - The Big MacMuffin
#123 - Bacon Wrapped Kosher Hot Dog
#125 - Sourdough Bread
#126 - Chili Mac, New Egg Cooking Rings, Failure
#128 - Leftover Thanksgiving Dressing

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #133 - Java Cat aka The Cat Came Back

Sandwich: Sausage, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin w/Boom Boom Sauce
Location: Java Cat
Date: March 23, 2019
Cost: $4.80

How many times have I driven past Java Cat and not checked to see what the breakfast sandwich situation is? Many, is the answer. A few of those times I ended up just down the road at Crema Cafe and that's never a wasted journey.

Java Cat offers you some options to build your own sandwich - bacon or sausage (that's standard) but the real choice is in the sandwich delivery vessel - bagel, English muffin, brioche bun, croissant or french toast. I eliminated french toast right off the bat, it gave me a flashback to the McGriddle and that didn't go well at all. This particular day was feeling like a classic sandwich day so I went the sausage and English muffin. Why mess around?

This photo is not particularly exciting, I'm aware of that.

How about if I rotate the plate a tiny bit? More exciting? No? There is value in these photos though - you can see the red pepper and evidence of Boom Boom sauce. Also, I would say that English muffin is toasted perfectly but the egg is cooked beyond the threshold of my preference. That's the way it goes sometimes, it's a jungle out there.

The Sandwich - Sausage, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin. I already covered this a bit, BUT WAIT! There's more! The menu board said you can "Add Boom Boom Sauce and red peppers for $.55". I ordered mine with Boom Boom Sauce before I even asked what it was. It turns out it's a chipotle sauce. That works for me. Java Cat offers several bread choices but they don't offer variations on how to cook your egg and they don't serve it with a runny yolk. This is where the Boom Boom Sauce really pays off, adding a pleasant viscosity that wouldn't otherwise be there. It could have handled a runny yolk although it probably would have gotten a bit messy. The sausage and American cheese were standard breakfast sandwich fare, in a good way. It all blends together into a classic breakfast sandwich taste that you know and love.

The Result - 4.00 Cat Sandwiches out of 5 Cat Sandwiches. It's a solid sandwich and perfect if you want to grab a cup of coffee and a bite before you go off to do whatever it is you do after you eat a sandwich. I ate mine on the premises but the grab and go factor is there. I'll likely come back to the Java Cat and try a bacon sandwich one of these days. I also recommend the hot chocolate although it was probably my last of the season. It's time to move into iced coffee season.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #132 - Gotham Bagels aka Time To Revisit The Classics

Sandwich: Spicy Italian Sausage, Egg & Cheddar
Location: Gotham Bagels
Date: March 9, 2019
Cost: $6.25?

This trip to Gotham was an impulsive Saturday morning decision and it turns out I hadn't had a breakfast sandwich there since October of 2015. That's just silly. I know I loved that sandwich and perhaps it's a clear indication that it's time to circle back around to some of the Top 25 Breakfast Sandwiches of all time to see if they're still changing lives. 

It arrives wrapped and snug in it's paper cocoon.

I didn't take a photo of it unwrapped but you know what an everything bagel looks like, right? Besides, look at that tantalizing sandwich! If it could talk it would say something like "Hello, I'm here to make everything wonderful".

The Sandwich - Spicy Italian Sausage, Egg & Cheddar. It's not listed on their online menu and I didn't take a photo of the menu so I'm not sure of the price. I remember it was 6 something.

No options are offered when you order other than you select the type of bagel you want. I went all in with the everything bagel (the "doughnut with sprinkles" for adults). This is going to sound crazy but I ordered it to go. I didn't know it would be wrapped in two layers of paper, perfect for transport, and it also didn't occur to me that if you're going to get a breakfast sandwich "to go", a hearty bagel is the perfect vehicle for it. A biscuit? No way is a decent biscuit going to handle a journey of more than a few feet. It's unfair to ask a biscuit to do that - you might as well ask your cat to wash the windows. Most of the time you can't even get a biscuit from your plate to your mouth without some type of crumbling incident. I'm getting off into the weeds here, I don't want to sound like I hate biscuits.

The sandwich was a thing of beauty when unwrapped. Perfectly sliced with a little melty cheese sneaking out the edges it forced me to pause and absorb it's visage. The bagel really shines here, dense enough to keep everything in check but not too doughy or heavy. In fact, the egg could have been yolkier and this would have still held up. I wish the egg HAD been yolkier but the sandwich wasn't lacking the ooze factor, I'm just saying it wouldn't have hurt if it was. The sausage is the real star of the show though - they says it's spicy and it really is. Not a little bit spicy but with some real kick. I'll often add hot sauce to my breakfast sandwich if it's available but this is easily the spiciest breakfast sandwich I've gotten straight out of the kitchen. How refreshing. The cheddar cheese and egg balance and compliment the heat a bit and the whole thing comes together quite perfectly.

The Result - 4.8 Revisitations out of 5 Revisitations. I don't know why it took me so long to get back to Gotham. Looking back at my review from October of 2015 I wrote that I'd definitely be back to try the Spicy Italian Sausage Sandwich. I was not consciously aware of that on this day but maybe it lingered somewhere in my mind for over 3 years. This sandwich earned a spot in the All Time Top 25 and I think it really is an indication that I need to roll through some of the top sandwich locations again. You know, for research.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Top 25 Breakfast Sandwiches Of All Time

Seeking a quality breakfast sandwich but don't have time to compare all the "Best of the year" lists and use the search function? Does sifting through reviews only to constantly come across Reports From The Lab send you into fits of rage? This post is for you! I've compiled the top rated sandwiches and created a Best of All Time list.

**Obligatory Disclaimer**
I have stated this numerous times over the years but this is the ideal place to repeat it - these rankings are based not only on the sandwich itself but on my overall experience of the day. I stand by my ratings of the sandwiches, however, it would be wise of you to at least skim the full review of a sandwich prior to visiting an establishment so you get an idea of what I was talking about. I'm behooving you look beyond the rating to gather a full understanding of the sandwich you seek. Consider yourself behooved. You Won't Get Behooved Again.

5.00 - Xoco
4.99 - Sardine
4.91 - Bloom Bake Shop
4.90 - The Heights
4.90 - Bradbury's (Crepe)
4.80 - Porter
4.80 - Gotham Bagels
4.75 - Johnson Public House
4.71 - Crema Cafe
4.71 - Casetta Kitchen
4.70 - Crema Cafe

4.70 - La Taguara (Breakfast Arepa)
4.70 - Kingston Cafe

4.69 - Underground Butcher
4.69 - Off Broadway
4.67 - Graze
4.62 - Mint Mark
4.61 - Stella Blu Cafe (Panini)
4.60 - The Old Fashioned
4.58 - Gotham Bagels
4.57 - Tavernakaya (Buns)
4.50 - Players
4.50 - 4 & 20
4.48 - Stalzy's

4.44 - Short Stack
4.44 - Ancora Coffee

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

This list is up to date as of February 10, 2019. It may be updated as new sandwiches find their way into the Hall of Fame but that will likely happen sporadically. 

The Whole Damn 2018 Year End List

As I started to compile my statistics and reports for this list I consulted my 2017 Year End List and noticed some of the same trends continued for 2018. Notably - overall sandwich consumption was down and the ratio of lab sandwiches is on the rise.

[Go ahead and skip the next two paragraphs if you're in a hurry or have a short attention span or hate lab sandwiches. They aren't the paragraphs you want but they may be the paragraphs you need.]

I still see the value in reporting on lab sandwiches even though they are frequently dismissed by readers when I'm out in the field discussing sandwiches. Without sounding too harsh I find those dismissals to be short-sighted and selfish. I understand readers want quick and easily digested information that can inform their daily life. (editors note - market research has determined that they want pictures and a rating and a single sentence review, AND THAT'S IT!) That information is here, at your fingertips, available whenever the notion strikes you. It is a tool and a weapon, at your disposal, that you are assumed to wield wisely. With this simple blog I feel I can confidently state that breakfast sandwich consumers in the Madison area are the single most informed breakfast sandwich eaters in the entire country. Perhaps the world. Perhaps the entire universe. That statement seems preposterous but I see no evidence to the contrary. (I haven't looked.)

My point is that there is a trove of information beyond the easily digestible review and that lab sandwiches can still inform your sandwich consumption. It is hoped that they will inspire you to create your own sandwiches when you aren't flitting about in the cliquey brunch circles that have developed in every major metropolitan market. At some point you will want to construct a breakfast sandwich in your own kitchen and if just a single morsel of my research helps with that than it has been worth it. I'd also like to point out that if you make breakfast sandwiches at home you can really take advantage of the "bottomless mimosa" fad that has swept the country. I'm not talking about "all you can drink" mimosas, I'm talking about drinking mimosas with your pants off.

Anyway, let's look back at 2018.

Breakfast sandwich consumption continues to trend downward while the quality of sandwiches consumed trended upwards:

2015 - 49

2016 - 31

2017 - 28 (42% lab sandwiches)

2018 - 22 (57% lab sandwiches)

Sandwich Rankings 2018

4.90 - The Heights

4.71 - Casetta Kitchen

4.70 - Crema Cafe

4.62 - Mint Mark

4.60 - The Old Fashioned

4.48 - Stalzy's

4.18 - Player's Sports Bar

4.11 - Crema Cafe (different sandwich than that listed above)

3.97 - Tip Top Tavern

3.33 - Cafe Hollander

3.12 - Lazy Jane's

3.11 - Willy Street Co-op (North)

3.01 - Green Forest Family Restaurant

2.19 - Kwik Trip

There were a lot of repeat visits in 2018 although often it was to review a different sandwich. Crema Cafe, Stalzy's, Player's, Cafe Hollander, Tip Top, Lazy Jane's and Kwik Trip had all been visited previously.

The average ranking for 2018 was 3.93 versus 3.18 of 2017. That number is skewed by the embarrassingly high number of visits to fast food vendors in 2017. I hope to keep those visits to a minimum in 2019 and beyond.

For further evidence that this blog continues to be a leader in the industry look no further than the Lab Report of June 20, 2018 - The Big MacMuffin. In this experiment we attempted to create a breakfast sandwich version of the iconic Big Mac Sandwich. While the experiment wasn't 100% successful it did yield positive results and on October 24 McDonald's announced their new "Triple Breakfast Stacks". These aren't specifically their breakfast version of the Big Mac but its close enough for me to feel that I should be getting residuals or at least a cushy role at McDonald's headquarters. Ancillary Vice-President of Breakfast Menu Diversification is the title I would like, thank you. First order of business is to get the crew in the test kitchen working on a bacon flavored milkshake. My attorney will be handling discussions from this point.

The Big MacMuffin was likely the most ambitious lab creation of the year but the most ridiculous experiment was probably the bacon-wrapped kosher franks. There was a sad attempt to use leftover chili-mac in a sandwich and it surprised nobody that leftover Honey-Baked Ham makes for a delicious breakfast sandwich.

Looking ahead I don't see a lot of change for 2019. We are well into the year and there are some new establishments that I have yet to visit. There are probably a few new joints that I don't even know about yet that will be discovered along the way. I can think of a few spots that are due for a repeat visit and there are places such as Crema Cafe that occasionally offer weekend sandwich specials that I hope to try. The Lab will continue to function in it's stated role and complaints from outside the organization will be ignored. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #131 - Kingdom Restaurant aka We're Not In Philly Anymore

Sandwich: Hangover Sandwich
Location: Kingdom Restaurant
Date: January 19, 2019
Cost: $8.49

Kingdom Restaurant used to be located in a gas station on East Washington Avenue and have relocated to the Northside Town Center. That gas station was a magnet for shit heads so I don't blame them for finding a new spot. 

With the recent openings of Beef Butter BBQ, Bierock and now Kingdom, the North side has a few more food options. This has been long overdue.

I came across Kingdom by accident when I dropped some clothes off for alterations next door. I stopped in to see the menu and learned they had opened the previous day. Any sensible person would go right to the African section of the menu, that's what they're known for, but the "Hangover Sandwich" caught my eye (as did the chicken wings) and I knew that was probably a breakfast sandwich. My pants were to be ready for pickup the following Saturday so I made a plan to find out what this Hangover Sandwich was all about.

While I wasn't planning on arriving with a hangover, I also hadn't planned for several inches of snow necessitating two solid hours of snow blowing and shoveling on Saturday morning. This is to say that by the time I got to Kingdom I had picked up my freshly tailored slacks and I had a hearty appetite.

This may be one of my better menu photos which means nothing. I didn't ask if they'll throw a chicken egg on top of those gizzards to make a nice little breakfast plate. 

That's a hunka-hunka of a sandwich right there. Jeepers. 

The Sandwich - Hangover Sandwich. There isn't a description listed on the menu so I asked the guy at the counter who told me it's "a Philly cheesesteak with an egg on it". Oddly, that is the next item listed on the menu so either the layout of their menu is goofy or there is some confusion about what this sandwich is. It doesn't matter, I ordered it. There are no options available and it's part of the "Combo" menu which means it comes with fries and a drink, neither of which I wanted. That's a loaded plate for breakfast, although in this case I was beyond hungry and it was actually Noon by the time I got there, so I'm pushing the definition of breakfast here.

Disclaimer - I have never been to Philadelphia. I've never eaten a real Philly Cheesesteak and I don't have an opinion on the Geno's versus Pat's rivalry. This fills me with a deep shame that I'm unable to articulate in this space but please forgive me and know that one day I will go to Philadelphia, if only to eat cheesesteak sandwiches. There used to be a place called Big Red's here in Madison that served a tasty cheesesteak but they closed several years ago. 

Anyway, the sandwich. You can see it's an impressive pile of sandwich if a bit messy. The egg is sorta fried and plopped in there. They don't ask if you want the sandwich "wit" (with onions) and the cheese is Cheez Whiz. Perhaps if you specify you can get it without onions or peppers and another kind of cheese. The steak was tender and not grisly, which honestly I thought might be the case. It's a messy sandwich for sure, and actually could have been a bit messier with a little more cheese. The bread was sturdy enough to keep everything together while not being too dense. Everybody will tell you the key to the Philly cheesesteaks is the Amoroso's bread but sadly I can't weigh in on that. It seems the more I write about sandwiches the less I know about sandwiches.

The fries were OK but unnecessary. If not for the shoveling I may have avoided them altogether but I ate about half of them. 

The Result - 3.99 Harold Carmichaels out of 5 Harold Carmichaels. This rating might be a bit generous. On one hand this isn't at all what you expect when you think of a breakfast sandwich. On the other hand, it's a solid sandwich and if you know what you're getting it might fit the bill perfectly. I'll gave them points for creativity, I don't think anybody else around here is serving a breakfast sandwich like this. Overall, the sandwich wasn't quite as flavorful as I thought it would be - maybe that means it needs more grease and salt, which is probably a stupid thing to complain about, but I call it as I taste it. I do know that from what I remember of the Big Red's cheesesteaks I used to get, this wasn't as tasty, egg or not. It's probably not fair to compare a sandwich from fuzzy memories of 5 years ago but I'm doing it anyway. Packaging it as a "Combo" meal didn't work for me, it doesn't need those fries and I rarely want a soda. Serving it ala carte for $5.95 makes more sense to me. How does it fair against a hangover? I didn't find out, that's for your research team to dig into. I run a tight ship over here and have no time for the ramblings of bleary-eyed slackers. 

Kingdom seems like it's still finding it's footing in a restaurant space rather than as a takeout joint. Small things like not having water and ketchup out so patrons can help themselves lessen the experience. I'm hoping they can tighten it up and get enough traffic to stay open. I want to go back to try the chicken wings, fufu and benachin. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page