Breakfast Sandwich #157 - Full Mile Beer Company & Kitchen aka Sausage Talk & The Good Ol' Days

Sandwich: Buttermilk Biscuit Sando
Location: Full Mile Beer Company & Kitchen
Date: March 8, 2020
Cost: $11, with mixed greens

A coworker tipped me off to the Full Mile Breakfast Sando (sic). I'd been there previously, but not for brunch. I'm not sure if I knew they had brunch. 

The thing that grabbed my attention when she sent me a photo of the menu was "house-made breakfast sausage". When I first started this project I was often faced with the choice of bacon or sausage, and I usually asked if the sausage was made in house. The answer was always "no", or a long pause and puzzled look on the face of the sever, which is also "no". I've got a good nose for knowing no's. I quickly learned that if a place doesn't clearly tout its homemade sausage, it's not making sausage. I was disappointed to find out how rare it was for places to make their own sausage but rather than ask follow up questions about where the sausage came from I defaulted to bacon. You don't really want to know how the sausage is made, everybody knows that. 

Looking back through my old reviews there aren't very many sausage sandwiches and most of them are McDonald's or some variation of mass-produced foodstuffs. There's a turkey sausage and a lamb sausage and a couple of regular sausage sandwiches but I'm not sure which had house-made sausage, if any. The lamb sausage was probably made in house.

I don't know why I got all hung up on house-made sausage, nobody talks about their house-made bacon and I order that without hesitation. Actually, I know why - it's because you can tweak your sausage with more fennel or whatever so you have a signature blend. It signals "I've gone to great lengths to make my pig fat taste different", which is worthy of investigation. I am aware that a handful of places make their own bacon but I've frittered away enough of your time so let's not go down that path today.

Which brings us to the present day (or at least March 8). Let it be known that March 8 was the last time I was able to go out for a breakfast sandwich before we started hunkering down in our cacoon-bunkers and making pillows out of disinfectant wipes or whatever people are doing these days.

Technically the Breakfast Burger is also a breakfast sandwich but it never really feels like it. Anyway, I didn't drive to Sun Prairie to NOT order the house-made sausage.

Sometimes there is a lot of natural light and I accidentally take an OK photo.

Everybody knows that when you cut a biscuit in half it's going to start falling apart.

The Sandwich - Buttermilk Biscuit Sando. I need to say that I don't like the word "Sando". That's all. There are no choices offered on this sandwich, the name tells you everything you need to know about the bread you're getting and the menu description fills in the rest. 

I was worried about the scrambled egg = no runny yolk. I'm pretty much always worried about that but when I saw the ample dollop of harissa mayo sneaking out from under the biscuit my fears were assuaged. 

Yes, the harissa mayo added a healthy amount of viscosity and a little heat and flavor. This sandwich had balance - the biscuit was flaky and a bit crumbly, but held together. The sausage had an individualistic flavor to it that I couldn't pinpoint and maybe I was fooling myself because I knew it was house-made but it matched well with the tomato and arugula. 

Let me be honest here for a minute. I don't think there is any need for me to jabber on about this sandwich. It was a DAMN. FINE. SANDWICH. It was a refreshing twist on a classic breakfast sandwich and I think we need that from time to time. 

The Bloody Mary and Awesome Sound sidecar (that's one of their beers) were also fantastic.

The Result - 4.75 Less Virus More Sandwiches out of 5 Less Virus More Sandwiches. I think I already said enough about the sandwich, right? I forgot to talk about the cheese though. And the side of greens. Good, that adds an air of mystery to the whole thing.

We can't go out for sandwiches right now. I guess you can pick them up from some places and take them home to your safe place, but it's not the same. Maybe you can get takeout from Full Mile, I don't know.

This is a warning that perhaps the next 10 reviews will be Lab Reports which will likely be poorly received because I hope you're all at home making your own sandwiches and why would you need to hear about mine? Who knows what will happen? If shit really goes off the rails I'll be making possum sausage and reporting on that. I've seen that fat fucker lurking around by my shed and if he/she thinks I won't eat it, they are wrong! I haven't yet figured out which people in my neighborhood would be best to cannibalize, but it's probably the children, right? I'd be doing everybody a favor. 

Oh, relax, my neighbors don't read this junk.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #148 - Berry Pike Cafe aka Something, Something in Evanston

Sandwich: Rhonda On The Fly
Location: Berry Pike Cafe
Date: November 17, 2019
Cost: $7

What are you going to do if you're in Chicago and you need a quick breakfast sandwich but the best place is closed on Sunday and you really should get on the road?

You just might grab a coffee and drive to Evanston while you ponder your situation, eventually landing on a place called Berry Pike Cafe that has a sandwich named the "Marcellus Wallace" (even if you know you aren't going to order that sandwich).

Enticing options.

As far as crappy photos go, this one is much less crappy.

 

That cup of coffee in the background was pretty damn tasty. I didn't take a crosssection shot cause I didn't want to cut it in half cause there was no yolk to see.

The Sandwich - Rhonda On The Fly. I wanted sausage and the pepper jack cheese sounded like a good option. Normally it's served on a plain bagel but I swapped that for an Everything bagel. I was pretty excited about this. Even though I knew it wouldn't be served with a runny yolk I was still a bit disappointed when presented with the visual evidence. I added some hot sauce, I guess I was really, really ready for a trip to flavor country this morning. That didn't happen. Somehow this sandwich just didn't have the verve I was looking for. It had all the components but they just didn't add up. The sausage didn't pack enough taste-power to cut through the other flavors and even the pepper jack cheese and hot sauce didn't flex enough. Maybe my taste buds were all whacked out this day cause it almost doesn't make sense. The cheese was nice and melty though. The bagel could have been toasted more. This all sounds rather negative and it probably shouldn't as the sandwich was, "fine". I think my expectations were a bit high as I was prepared for a tasty treat and it didn't hit me how I wanted it to. Also, I was on a mini-vacation and everything is better on vacation, right? 

The Result - 3.33 That's The Way It Goes out of 5 That's The Way It Goes. There isn't much more to say that hasn't already been covered. The sandwich was OK but my expectations were above that. Perhaps it's due to my last trip to Chicago which resulted in the only 5.00 rated breakfast sandwich thus far. The coffee was really good and this little succulent plant in the window was simply adorable.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #142 - Player's Sports Bar aka Friends Old and New

Sandwich: Buzzy with Sausage
Location: Player's Sports Bar & Grill
Date: September 21, 2019
Cost: $7.50, with cheesy hash browns

This sandwich was not planned. My visit to Player's came up at the last minute and since I hadn't eaten I knew I'd be revisiting my old friend. Until I sat down to write this I did not realize that it had been since January 1, 2018, that I'd had a Buzzy. There have been a few patty melts and burgers during that span, and at least one basket of chicken wings, but no breakfast sandwiches. 

I was ready for a Buzzy but I didn't know I was missing an important part of The Buzzy Sandwich Story. A cornerstone to the monument of the Buzzy had not yet been put in place. 

Specifically - I had never ordered it with sausage. I'm as shocked as you are. No, I'm several layers more shocked than you are. 

This seems impossible but when I looked back at my previous visits I realized that Sandwich #109 coincided with the period when the sausage option had been replaced by the burger patty. At some point the burger was wisely switched back to sausage and the options are once again ham, bacon, or sausage. 

Looking further back on the timeline, Breakfast Sandwich #100 was ordered with bacon as was Sandwich #69. Everybody knows the story of Sandwich #1. (No? Spoiler - it had bacon on it.)

I'm shocked but not ashamed. I like bacon and so do you, however, we strive to provide a wide swatch of informative sandwich opinions here and this oversight needed to be corrected. Toot Sweet.

It is very unlikely I'll order the version with ham, research be damned, so this post about sausage is as historic as writing about a breakfast sandwich can be. Gravitas with a side of gravy. 

This photo wasn't taken by a drone, it just looks that way. 

Wait just a daggum minute! Is that TWO sausage patties? Yes, it is. Also note, Hopalicious photo bomb. 

The Sandwich - Buzzy with Sausage. Other than choice of meat there are no other options offered for the Buzzy. I assume they always double up on the sausage patties since they are quite thin but I don't know that for a fact. They do always get that Texas toast just right. The American cheese was perfectly melty and the egg was just slightly runny. Take a good look at that photo and you know what this sandwich was all about - it was a salty, fatty, slightly crunchy, gooey and tasty treat.

The Result - 4.3 Corrected Oversights out of 5 Corrected Oversights. In short, the sausage version gives the bacon version a good run for it's money. It's a win-win situation (not for your arteries), and since both versions are both equally bad for your aortas and ventricles, choose whichever your heart desires. The Buzzy is a classic, simple breakfast sandwich. It does benefit greatly from it's surroundings as I notice when I look back at my previous reviews that all five of the Buzzy's have been consumed on a weekend during football season. The atmosphere at Player's on a football Saturday is a perfect compliment to this sandwich - folks attending the game are getting a quick bite in before heading out to the game and everybody else is settling onto a bar stool to watch it on the teevee. If you're lucky and you choose the right stool you'll make a new friend like I did. His name is Herbie and he likes sports. I wish he had ordered a Buzzy as he would have made a helluva guest reviewer, but it wasn't in the cards on this day.

I came away with a new friend and the realization that my old friend the Buzzy Sandwich had a tasty side to him that I was unaware of.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #141 - Gotham Bagels aka Bagel Trifecta

Sandwich: Arthur Avenue
Location: Gotham Bagels
Date: August 30, 2019
Cost: $10.50

I had to hit the Dane County Farmers Market and that meant a breakfast sandwich was on my horizon. After mulling potential new options I realized I didn't want to mess around with amateurs and the choices were narrowed to Ancora or Gotham. Sandwich redux! Gotham won out because that's where I parked my bike. This isn't rocket surgery. I don't know why I didn't consider Casetta Kitchen.

If you're up to speed on all of this you know that Gotham Bagels provided sandwiches #40 and #132 and that both of those sandwiches are in the All Time Top 25. That's a lot of pressure. (I just realized that the phrase "All Time" can't be accurate. If I were to eat 20 sandwiches that rank 4.81 or above, Gotham Bagel will no longer be on the list. It's too late, I'm not renaming it, but I want you to know it's bothering me a little bit. If you're the kind of person who prays please say a prayer that I am served 20 near perfect breakfast sandwiches so we can solidify my hasty foolishness. Thanking you in advance.)

They've revamped the menu since my last visit. How exciting! I was really struggling with choosing an option and was leaning towards the Rocky's Deli (not pictured here) or the O.M.F.G. but switched it up before I made it to the counter. Please note this is only half of the menu. 

That's a righteous cross-section shot. I wasn't planning on eating this at the park but it was too hot and crowded in the bagel shoppe.

Fear not! The Sandwich Gods are looking after you. 

The Sandwich - Arthur Avenue on an Everything Bagel. I don't know what I was picturing in my head when I ordered it but this is a real chunka-hunka sandwich! It has heft. I love that it was wrapped up all tight and snug so I could bike down to the park without a worry that something would happen to my precious cargo. The rope sausage makes this a little clunky to eat, you just have to be mindful of your bites and aware that your sausage might try to sneak out the back door. We should all be in-the-moment when we eat our sandwiches anyway. (Consider signing up for my workshop - Zen sandwiching.) If my memory serves this sausage isn't quite as spicy as that of sandwich #132, but it still has some kick. The chicken egg isn't runny although the bagel could handle it. The onions and green peppers pair with the sausage expertly and provide some extra texture and viscosity. The mozzarella is proper here as well providing a smooth balance and letting the sausage, onion and pepper do the heavy lifting. Let's be honest, this isn't groundbreaking stuff, people have been pairing those items for a long time, and there's a reason for that. The perfectly toasted everything bagel (the adult version of the donut with "sprinkles") provided the salty and slightly nutty vehicle for it all.

The Result - 4.00 First Impressions Are Important out of 5 First Impressions Are Important. My first thought was to order the Rocky's Deli sandwich and in retrospect that may have been a wiser choice. There was nothing wrong with this sandwich, it was mighty fine, but I felt like I was trying to eat lunch at 9:00 AM instead of breakfast. It's not the sandwiches fault and I still enjoyed it, but something wasn't quite right. This slight misstep may have been the worst thing to happen to me all day and that's something to be thankful for.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #139 - McDonald's (yet again) aka I Am One With The Billions

Sandwich: Sausage McMuffin with Egg
Location: McDonald's South Towne Mall
Date: August 3, 2019
Cost: $3.18 (I think?)

Let's get a couple of things out of the way right off the bat. I've reviewed McDonald's entirely too often - #17, #66, #83, #95 and #97 are the results of my trips through the Golden Arches. Then I tried to create a breakfast sandwich version of the The Big Mac that was somewhat successful and then about 4 months later McDonald's launched their Triple Breakfast Stacks which I swore I would never review. This was partly because it sounds like way too much saturated fat and calories and partly because these overloaded sandwiches usually get all the proportions wrong. If the proportions are off everything gets thrown out of whack. It doesn't work. Have you had a Kit Kat Big Kat? No bueno. It's a gimmick and I don't appreciate it. 

But then I woke up on this Saturday morning with a long day ahead of me and I thought "If not now, when?". Gimmicks be damned! It was decided I would take a plunge into the stacks and see how I emerged on the other side. Hold my feet, I'm going in!

Here's the thing - the Triple Stacks weren't shown the drive-thru menu. I inquired and she said they didn't have them. I was staring at the speaker so I couldn't see her eyes to tell if she was lying to me. (Hold on a minute. How long will it be before the drive-thru ordering system is a video screen with a generically attractive AI "person" taking your order and suggesting you try the new Mcberry McSwirly McSlush? I'll take the under on that. It's probably already happening in Japan. I'm not going to look it up.) My order was changed to the classic Sausage McMuffin with Egg but I was feeling uneasy and perplexed. Were they only offered at some locations? That doesn't make sense, it was a national campaign.

As far as I can tell (with minimal research), the Triple Breakfast Stacks were discontinued without warning or fanfare. We're probably all better off for it but now I regret my choice to avoid it. Dereliction of duty? Perhaps. None of you were going to eat one anyway, or were you? Did you? Please submit your reports. 

I was holding this in my hand in the car so please excuse the extra shitty quality of the photo. 

Now this is a nice photo. This is a throwback to the time we made homemade Big Macs, except I bought the buns from McDonalds. They even toasted them for me and put them in the fun little boxes. 

The Sandwich - Sausage McMuffin with Egg. You know what this is. What can I say about the Sausage McMuffin that you don't already know deep in your heart and hippocampus? Nothing. This was one done right. The cheese was all melty and the egg was the predictable puck and the sausage tasted exactly as expected which was the main reason I ordered this. 

The Result - 4.0 Billions and Billions Served out of 5 Billions and Billions Served. What can I say? I really enjoyed this. It fit perfectly with my morning which McDonalds had nothing to do with but yet they benefited from my great mood. Lucky them. I wasn't even upset that I didn't get to have a Triple Breakfast Stack. In fact, I'm elated. Happy Trails, Triple Breakfast Stack, we hardly knew ya'.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #133 - Java Cat aka The Cat Came Back

Sandwich: Sausage, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin w/Boom Boom Sauce
Location: Java Cat
Date: March 23, 2019
Cost: $4.80

How many times have I driven past Java Cat and not checked to see what the breakfast sandwich situation is? Many, is the answer. A few of those times I ended up just down the road at Crema Cafe and that's never a wasted journey.

Java Cat offers you some options to build your own sandwich - bacon or sausage (that's standard) but the real choice is in the sandwich delivery vessel - bagel, English muffin, brioche bun, croissant or french toast. I eliminated french toast right off the bat, it gave me a flashback to the McGriddle and that didn't go well at all. This particular day was feeling like a classic sandwich day so I went the sausage and English muffin. Why mess around?

This photo is not particularly exciting, I'm aware of that.

How about if I rotate the plate a tiny bit? More exciting? No? There is value in these photos though - you can see the red pepper and evidence of Boom Boom sauce. Also, I would say that English muffin is toasted perfectly but the egg is cooked beyond the threshold of my preference. That's the way it goes sometimes, it's a jungle out there.

The Sandwich - Sausage, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin. I already covered this a bit, BUT WAIT! There's more! The menu board said you can "Add Boom Boom Sauce and red peppers for $.55". I ordered mine with Boom Boom Sauce before I even asked what it was. It turns out it's a chipotle sauce. That works for me. Java Cat offers several bread choices but they don't offer variations on how to cook your egg and they don't serve it with a runny yolk. This is where the Boom Boom Sauce really pays off, adding a pleasant viscosity that wouldn't otherwise be there. It could have handled a runny yolk although it probably would have gotten a bit messy. The sausage and American cheese were standard breakfast sandwich fare, in a good way. It all blends together into a classic breakfast sandwich taste that you know and love.

The Result - 4.00 Cat Sandwiches out of 5 Cat Sandwiches. It's a solid sandwich and perfect if you want to grab a cup of coffee and a bite before you go off to do whatever it is you do after you eat a sandwich. I ate mine on the premises but the grab and go factor is there. I'll likely come back to the Java Cat and try a bacon sandwich one of these days. I also recommend the hot chocolate although it was probably my last of the season. It's time to move into iced coffee season.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #132 - Gotham Bagels aka Time To Revisit The Classics

Sandwich: Spicy Italian Sausage, Egg & Cheddar
Location: Gotham Bagels
Date: March 9, 2019
Cost: $6.25?

This trip to Gotham was an impulsive Saturday morning decision and it turns out I hadn't had a breakfast sandwich there since October of 2015. That's just silly. I know I loved that sandwich and perhaps it's a clear indication that it's time to circle back around to some of the Top 25 Breakfast Sandwiches of all time to see if they're still changing lives. 

It arrives wrapped and snug in it's paper cocoon.

I didn't take a photo of it unwrapped but you know what an everything bagel looks like, right? Besides, look at that tantalizing sandwich! If it could talk it would say something like "Hello, I'm here to make everything wonderful".

The Sandwich - Spicy Italian Sausage, Egg & Cheddar. It's not listed on their online menu and I didn't take a photo of the menu so I'm not sure of the price. I remember it was 6 something.

No options are offered when you order other than you select the type of bagel you want. I went all in with the everything bagel (the "doughnut with sprinkles" for adults). This is going to sound crazy but I ordered it to go. I didn't know it would be wrapped in two layers of paper, perfect for transport, and it also didn't occur to me that if you're going to get a breakfast sandwich "to go", a hearty bagel is the perfect vehicle for it. A biscuit? No way is a decent biscuit going to handle a journey of more than a few feet. It's unfair to ask a biscuit to do that - you might as well ask your cat to wash the windows. Most of the time you can't even get a biscuit from your plate to your mouth without some type of crumbling incident. I'm getting off into the weeds here, I don't want to sound like I hate biscuits.

The sandwich was a thing of beauty when unwrapped. Perfectly sliced with a little melty cheese sneaking out the edges it forced me to pause and absorb it's visage. The bagel really shines here, dense enough to keep everything in check but not too doughy or heavy. In fact, the egg could have been yolkier and this would have still held up. I wish the egg HAD been yolkier but the sandwich wasn't lacking the ooze factor, I'm just saying it wouldn't have hurt if it was. The sausage is the real star of the show though - they says it's spicy and it really is. Not a little bit spicy but with some real kick. I'll often add hot sauce to my breakfast sandwich if it's available but this is easily the spiciest breakfast sandwich I've gotten straight out of the kitchen. How refreshing. The cheddar cheese and egg balance and compliment the heat a bit and the whole thing comes together quite perfectly.

The Result - 4.8 Revisitations out of 5 Revisitations. I don't know why it took me so long to get back to Gotham. Looking back at my review from October of 2015 I wrote that I'd definitely be back to try the Spicy Italian Sausage Sandwich. I was not consciously aware of that on this day but maybe it lingered somewhere in my mind for over 3 years. This sandwich earned a spot in the All Time Top 25 and I think it really is an indication that I need to roll through some of the top sandwich locations again. You know, for research.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #128 - Low Effort Lab Work

Sandwich: Sausage & Walnut Dressing, Egg & Cheese
Date: 11/27/18

You may recall last year I did some research on a Thanksgiving leftover breakfast sandwich and was rather pleased with the results. At that time I lamented the fact that it's not easy to acquire a turkey egg which would really put the bow on this sandwich. I mentioned starting my search earlier so I would be able to make a sandwich with a turkey egg this year.

That didn't happen.

In fact, no research whatsoever went in to this sandwich. It's not all that different from last years model other than I nixed the turkey on this one. I also swapped the American cheese for a medium cheddar. That change was made out of necessity, not a desire to sift & winnow for sandwich truths.

You can't quite see it here but the egg is overcooked.  There would be no runny yolk on this day. Look how nice and melty that cheese is though. 

The Sandwich - I've pretty much covered that already. If there is anything you take away from this review, indeed if there was any reason at all to write this review, it's that you should make this Sausage & Walnut Dressing next Thanksgiving or tomorrow. It's fantastic and works well on a sandwich even if you overcook the egg. 

I suppose there is another nugget of knowledge here - leftovers make for good breakfast sandwiches. Don't let the The Man tell you your breakfast sandwich can only be made with sausage or bacon. Next year maybe I'll make turkey tetrazzini with my Thanksgiving leftovers and then I'll make a breakfast sandwich using those leftovers and I'll throw a massive turkey egg on it and we'll have turkey yolk and spaghetti spilling out all over the place. It's not a bad plan but I probably won't remember to do it. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #121 - Lazy Jane's aka Still Lazy After All These Years

Sandwich: Speedy Eggwich
Location: Lazy Jane's Cafe
Date: June 24, 2018
Cost: $4.25

My previous review of Lazy Jane's was in May of 2016 but I didn't know that until I looked it up just now. It's likely I would have guessed it had been about two years. I usually don't consider going there due to the inevitable line-out-the-door but it was suggested to me on this early morning and I immediately heard the call of the scone. I knew if we got moving we'd beat the line and we did. It didn't appear that much had changed since my previous trip and why would they change anything? Why mess with a line that snakes out the door every weekend?

They wisely file would be diners past the bakery case (OK, they probably don't have a choice) and choosing your scone is probably more difficult than deciding what combo of eggs and protein you'll be getting. Not to spoil the review but in the future I might be better off ordering three scones and coffee and juice. I can make eggs but there is almost no chance I'm going to bake scones.

That's a proper cheese melt right there.

The cross section reveals truth.

The Sandwich - Speedy Eggwich. It's the only breakfast sandwich on the menu and there are no options offered. As luck would have it I was in the mood for sausage although I did briefly flirt with the idea of getting a scramble or something other than a sandwich. My sense of duty prevailed and I padded it with a side order of cheesy grits and a scone. Wholly unnecessary but irresistible. You may be aware that when I review a place for a second time I do not read my previous review so as to have an entirely fresh perspective. This can, and does, lead to redundancy or consistency, it depends on how you look at it. Having said that I'm pretty sure this order was a duplicate of the order from two years ago with the possible exception of scone choice.

Upon preparing for the cross section photo the first discovery was that the chicken egg was not runny. I fought back my tears and valiantly soldiered forward. Sense of duty, again. I've had plenty of sandwiches that didn't have a runny egg but I was really hoping for it on this one. Also apparent from the start was that the English Muffin was overly toasted and a bit too crunchy. It gave it a dryness I didn't appreciate. It was getting harder and harder to continue but I was hungry and of course I was going to devour this sandwich - let's not kid ourselves. On a positive note the sausage hit the right notes and the cheddar cheese was melted properly. 

The Result - 3.12 Senses of Duty out of 5 Senses of Duty. The sandwich was OK but I had higher hopes and ultimately it kind of missed the mark. It didn't have the squish or the goo-factor I'm looking for in the morning. Perhaps I should have trusted my instincts and left you people without an update on the Speedy Eggwich? I think the sandwich might be an obligatory menu offering - I'll bet it isn't ordered nearly as often as the scrambles and whatnot. Still, there are positives in these situations, such as the cheesy grits and scone. The cheesy grits aren't on the same level as those from Crema Cafe but that's an unrealistic standard. The scones are still fantastic. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #116 - Mint Mark aka Flavor Piñata

Sandwich: Chimera
Location: Mint Mark
Date: April 20, 2018
Cost: $8

Within a few of weeks of Mint Mark opening it's doors I was receiving tips/demands that I try their breakfast sandwiches. Most recommended the Chimera although the Sunday Morning (not available on Sundays) also had it's supporters. 

While I'd been there for drinks and a few small plates from the dinner menu I had yet to make it for breakfast. The breakfast menu is only available Monday through Friday and it's rare that I go out for a breakfast sandwich during the work week unless it's a grab-n-go type of a deal. 

It was only a matter of time and on this morning I felt the call of the sandwich shortly after waking. You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't, I can't describe it but you might need to slather some mustard on your condiment chakras. I don't know. I'm not a doctor or a medicine man or a lawyer or even an escalator.  

Some day there will be an exhibit of my crappy menu photos at the Photography Hall of Fame and this one will probably be included. 

I sat near the window precisely to get a shot like this. Where does that jalapeño slice think it's going?

I thought cutting this in half would be problematic but I just had to see.

The Sandwich - Chimera. I was in the mood for sausage this day, actually, I was in the mood for this exact sandwich. I knew I was going to get it before I left the house so the Sunday Morning sandwich will just have to wait. (I'm looking forward to it though - a ham breakfast sandwich has to be done right and we have a couple of very solid offerings in Porter and Johnson Public House. The bar has been set.) There are no variations offered upon ordering. The sandwich is an adorable little flaker and won me over as soon as I saw it. The biscuit was crumbly and I feared the worst as I cut it in half for the crucial cross section shot. It actually held together better than I though and SURPRISE - like a potentially salmonella-laced piñata the sandwich unleashed runny yolk. I did not see that coming. What a pleasant surprise. Happy birthday to me. (It was not my birthday.) The jalapeños were milder than expected, as was the sausage. I don't know if the sausage is made in house but it had a lean and smooth texture to it. The cheddar blended well and is the perfect cheese for this sandwich. There are a lot of flavors here that mix well but none are overpowering. The biscuit just barely kept it together and if this had been a larger sandwich I don't think it could have done the job.

The Result - 4.62 Flavor Piñatas out of 5 Flavor Piñatas. There is a lot here to trumpet - flavors and sights and textures - it's a beautiful and delicious sandwich and deserving of the praise that it's supporters sent my way. I did wish that it had a little more kick, not much, just a touch. I kept expecting that little extra nudge, be it the sausage or peppers or dijonaise or some combination of those. It didn't happen. That shouldn't detract from the glory of this sandwich. I'm quibbling about personal preferences at this point but somebody has to do it. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #111 - Green Forest Family Restaurant aka Partying With A Pony

Sandwich: Sausage & 2 Egg Sandwich
Location: Green Forest Family Restaurant
Date: February 3, 2018
Cost: $5.99

I know nothing of the Green Forest Family Restaurant. I'd passed by it before on my way to wherever and it stuck in my mind as a place that would probably have a breakfast sandwich and it was added to the list. The list has long been exhausted and abandoned but on this Saturday morning I had to make a run out to the Dane County Landfill/Clean Sweep and I had some time to kill so I began hunting and gathering for a breakfast sandwich.

Speaking of garbage, my first thought was the Arby's out by the Dutch Mill Park & Ride. I actually pulled into the lot and did a quick search to determine if Arby's has breakfast sandwiches. At this point the sacrifices I make for this endeavor should be readily apparent. I didn't want to eat at Arby's. I searched for it anyway and when I saw this story I decided that was good enough for me. I didn't actually go inside to look at the menu because I didn't want to find out if they had launched a nationwide breakfast menu. It was fine with me if the only Arby's serving breakfast is in Manhattan which makes no sense at all but was true as of January 2016. There was a brief moment where I envisioned eating an Arby's breakfast sandwich in my pickup truck in the Park & Ride parking lot and it was going to be the saddest sandwich review ever and probably Pulitzer worthy and perhaps my ticket to sandwich fan fiction stardom. It was not meant to be. 

I left the Park & Ride relieved, but unsated. The nearby Denny's was unworthy of consideration. I know everything I need to know about Denny's. The Green Forest was the obvious choice. 

Before I went inside I did a quick search to make sure I could get a breakfast sandwich. Confirmed. I also learned that there is a pony who likes to party. 

That sounds like a fun pony. Honestly, when I consider animals that would be fun to have at a party a pony is pretty far down the list. Aside from the obvious kittens and puppies I'd rather party with a sloth, capybara, baby goats, raccoons or piglets. That's just off the top of my head. Hell, a Komodo dragon would be way more fun than a pony assuming you have some ducklings or something to feed it. What? No. This is getting a little too dark. You see what driving past an Arby's and Denny's does to my head? This isn't even funny anymore. 

I took a seat at the diner-style counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich.

They have options.

Bonus pickle and flowery plate.

Cross section. Note jams and jellies in the background. This will be important later. 

The Sandwich - Sausage & 2 Egg Sandwich. I inquired about the bread choices and she explained they can also serve them on whole wheat or white bread, or toast. I was feeling All American at this point, probably due to the partying pony, so I went with sausage on white toast. No wheat toast today, thank you. They don't offer choices on how you want your eggs cooked, or choice of cheese, which is a shame. The sandwich arrived in short order and just as it did a man who I believe to be the proprietor sat down next to me. The woman on the other side of the counter I assumed to be his wife. This really is a family restaurant. He asked me how my breakfast was and we somehow ended up talking about electric cars and other random topics. He had some gyro slices on bread and he asked the waitress for some of the jelly that was in front of me. This lead to an odd exchange.

"You put jelly on your gyro?"

"I'm a jelly guy."

He sure was. Strawberry jelly, to be precise. I believe he is Greek and if a Greek wants to put jelly on his gyro who am I to question it? As a point of clarification I'd like to say that there were not onions, tomatoes or tzatziki sauce on the gyro meat. Mixing jelly with that would be gross. 

There isn't much to say about my sandwich. My interaction with my new dining companion was far more interesting, which I guess tells you something about the sandwich. Truth be told, the sandwich was kind of sad. Take a look at it. It was as basic as it looks, the sausage wasn't particularly flavorful, the egg was not cooked how I like it and the cheese was overly melted. The white toast was OK though! 

The Result - 3.01 Partying Ponies out of 5 Partying Ponies. If you recall the start of this project you know that the mission is to see how a breakfast sandwich can influence your day. In this case it was the entire interaction surrounding the sandwich which made for an enlivened and invigorating meal. The sandwich was but a footnote, and not much of one at that. So, the result you see above is the ranking for the experience as a whole. It would seem the breakfast sandwiches are not the forte at the Green Forest, and that's OK. I love that there is a family restaurant somewhat tucked off the beaten path that is making a go of it right down the road from a Denny's. While I may never again eat a breakfast sandwich at Green Forest I know for a fact that when I get that Pulitzer I'm having a big party with all you people and a pony and probably a sloth. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

(Not Really A) Breakfast Sandwich #104 - Stella Blu Cafe aka You Look Sexy In That Wrap Around Porch

Sandwich: Spicy Italian Sausage Panini
Location: Stella Blu Cafe
Date: November 18, 2017
Cost: $12.50 includes brunch potatoes, two eggs and mixed greens

I was predisposed to like the Stella Blu Cafe. First, it's in this funky little flat-roofed building with a wrap around porch that's tucked into a residential area. I've had my eye on this building for many years, it's the kind of building I would buy if I were the kind of guy who bought buildings. I'll admit it, I have had a crush on this building for about two decades. Second, I don't know where they got their name but I assume it's from the Grateful Dead song, which coincidentally is a favorite of mine. As it happened, when I walked into the cafe they were playing Grateful Dead in the open kitchen area so I guess that kind of confirms my suspicion on the name. The Dead transitioned into Lou Reed after a few songs but I was OK with that choice as well.

None of that has anything to do with sandwiches.

The brunch menu offers four panini sandwiches and when I first looked at the menu online I knew I would get the sausage version:

Spicy Italian Sausage, peperonata, provolone, pesto, garlic aioli

A bountiful array of flavor.

The Sandwich - The menu offers adding two eggs any style for $2.50. I wrongly assumed they meant that they add them to the sandwich. No, they put them on the side. In retrospect it makes sense - putting eggs onto the panini might get kind of sloppy with egg spilling out all over the place. Ultimately this wasn't really a breakfast sandwich but here we are so let's talk about it anyway. The house made focaccia was fantastic and grilled up perfectly with a crusty outside and buttery inside. The sausage link was spicy, but not overly so, and blended wonderfully with the grilled peppers. Provolone is a good cheese for this sandwich, mild, and not too messy when it melts. The pesto is what really brings this sandwich together. It compliments everything and adds a touch of zip. The chicken eggs were cooked over medium so they still had a runny yolk but they were not on the sandwich. I briefly considered trying to put them on the sandwich but I figured that would turn into an absolute mess. A brief mention of the other sides - often you are given the choice of greens or potatoes but having both was a nice option. Fresh greens with a tangy dressing and crispy potatoes should be paired up more often.

The Result - 4.61 Secret Building Crushes out of 5 Secret Building Crushes. The sandwich was fantastic but I'm really rating the entire plate here and I swear I'm not adding points for the building. But seriously, this was a fantastic meal and carried me through until dinner later that night. It literally became breakfast and lunch which I guess it's why they call it brunch. Go take a look at that building and tell me if it isn't just the cutest thing.

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #103 - Norske Nook aka Open Your Pie Hole

Sandwich: Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap
Location: Norske Nook (Deforest)
Date: October 25, 2017
Cost: I forgot to look. I guess I can't complain about the cost.

If you're talking about Norske Nook you're talking about pie and that's the way it should be. It turns out they have a full menu although that menu does not contain a breakfast sandwich. Maybe that's not how the Norwegians roll. Ingen frokost sandwich. They do have something called the Lefse-dilla which is probably exactly what we think it is but I didn't order it or actually see one.

An omelete lefse wrap is in no way a sandwich. I'm not even sure it's a thing - I think Norske Nook is just making shit up (see "lefse-dilla" if you doubt that)! Nobody is claiming it's a sandwich. That's OK, we're at sandwich #103 and at this point the rules were made to be broken. There have already been reviews of crepes and open-faced sandwiches. Maybe I'll review a breakfast hot dog soon and that sure as heck is not a sandwich.

Nobody cares. We should talking about pie.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu but I can tell you that my omelete lefse wrap included scrambled egg, hash browns, sausage, cheese and was topped with hollandaise sauce.

This is not a sandwich or a piece of pie and I'm not sure why we're even looking at it. Do you like your pie al a mode or a la hollandaise? That's just gross. 

The Sandwich - Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap. Right off the bat I'm going to admit to not being a big fan of hollandaise. I have only had one previous sandwich with hollandaise and that was almost exactly two years ago to this date. That's the last time I had hollandaise sauce. Maybe it's better in its natural habitat as part of eggs benedict. It should probably be confined to that usage, a guy like me doesn't need to see it all over the place. I'm biased. Maybe you feel otherwise. Anyway, what about this non-sandwich wrap? I would have liked the hash browns crispier and the chicken eggs were scrambled which makes sense for this wrap but isn't how I like them. The sausage was unassuming which isn't what I'm looking for in a cased meat product. Then there is the hollandaise, which struck me as an afterthought but does add some needed viscosity to the whole affair. Without it I may have been tempted to do something dumb like put ketchup on this which doesn't really make sense but brings us back around full circle to the thought of "does this lefse wrap make sense?"

The Result - 3 Pie Holes out of 5 Pie Holes. I haven't even mentioned the pie yet which is really what I should have been talking about the entire time. Wait. This wrap was fine. It was just OK. It was not greater than the sum of its parts in fact it may have been lesser than the sum of its parts. I'm sounding harsher than I mean to. It does seem a bit unfair to be overly critical of a non-sandwich on a sandwich blog, and I honestly don't mean to be. This wrap lacked personality. Not even the jaunty hollandaise sauce could put a twinkle in it's eye but ultimately it was fine. 

The Pie - They aren't messin' around when comes to pie at Norske Nook. The placemat (photo not available) is the entire list of pies that might be available including "retired" pies. The retired pies are apparently not really retired but are not as available as they used to be. I think they're consultants at this point. Then there are all the other pies - cream pies, fruit pies, mixtures of cream and fruit and so forth. It's confusing and overwhelming. Some pies are seasonal. It's like some kind of game show. You just have to ask what they have that day and invariably your first choice is not available. I was prepared for this and it's exactly what happened. My second choice was also not available. I think it might be some kind of social experiment - no matter what you order they say they don't have it. In reality there is some pie-obsessed madman in back who has baked every damn kind of pie on earth and he just wants to see your reaction when you are denied. Children cry, old people get angry and the pie guy laughs his fool head off. I want his job. 

I ended up ordering a slice of classic blueberry pie (photo not available) and I was fine with that. Here is the best part - when you order your pie they ask "would you like that warm and with ice cream?" This is where the madman redeems himself. Once you get your warm pie with two adorable scoops of ice cream you forgive him for making a mockery of your pie plight. His gales of derision are forgotten with each bite and when your plate is clean you think "he wasn't so crazy after all".

I think I have the makings of a Norwegian style fairy tale going here - "Gal Kake Mann"

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #102 - Bob Evans aka Rubber Biscuit

Sandwich: Sausage Egg & Cheese
Location: Bob Evans
Date: October 1, 2017
Cost: $2.29

I wasn't even planning on having a breakfast sandwich this day. I was at the grocery store looking for my favorite flatbread but they had rearranged the bakery/bread section so I was jabbing around deep in the back corner of the store. I found the flat bread next to a refrigerated deli case that I generally pay no mind. That's when I saw individually wrapped Bob Evans Breakfast Sandwiches. Sometimes the sandwich finds you.

We don't have Bob Evans restaurants here, the store locator on the web site says there isn't one within 100 miles of me. Because of that, I have never been to a Bob Evans restaurant and I'm OK with that.

It's kind of cute.

I think I microwaved it a little too long The cheese was beyond melty.

That sausage patty looks as grey and gristly as Donald Trumps soul. 

The Sandwich - Sausage, Egg and Cheese. The instructions said microwave for 60 to 75 seconds. I went with 75 as my microwave is old and on the weaker side. That was probably a bit too long, the cheese liquefied, but the sandwich was plenty hot. There isn't much positive I can relate about this sandwich. The sausage tasted OK but the big takeaway was that the whole thing was just too chewy. It actually had a rubbery texture. The entire sandwich. It think each component was rubbery, with the exception of the now liquefied cheese. Rubber Biscuit, indeed. The muffin looks toasted but did not have the texture of toasted bread. I'm not going to waste any more time talking about this. I didn't enjoy it.

The Result - 1.83 Rubber Biscuits out of 5 Rubber Biscuits. I've had worse sandwiches but this one is down there at the bottom. Maybe if it was warmed in a toaster oven it would have taken on a different tone, but that wasn't an option listed for heating it. The only instructions were for microwave.  I can't believe I've made it to sandwich #102 and this is the first time "Rubber Biscuit" popped into my head. It was probably milling around my subconscious waiting for an opportunity and then it sprung at just the right moment. 

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook page