Breakfast Sandwich #163 - McDonald's (Again) aka There Was Some Regret

Sandwich: Sausage McMuffin with Egg
Location: McDonald's (Shawano, Wisconsin)
Date: September 6, 2020
Cost: I forget but about $3

Do you remember what you did on Labor Day Weekend? Did you have a Sausage McMuffin that you forgot to tell the internet about? That's what I did. Thank goodness I still have the photos so I can relive that experience. 

There isn't much of a story here - I was driving home and needed some food and I saw a McDonalds. I went for the classic Sausage McMuffin and got back on the road. That's how it happened. The second act of the story is that two blocks later I saw a Taco Bell and it was open and they had the "Breakfast" sign so passersby know they serve breakfast. Dammit! I've been wanting to try the AM Crunchwrap again since I reviewed it way back at Sandwich #25. It was too late. I had already made my choice.

The third act of the story is that I ate this in the car and it was just OK. It wasn't as tasty as previous McMuffins and it was all because the sausage patty was overcooked and a bit dry. It wasn't bad but all the previous McMuffins that are reviewed here (and if I'm being honest there are too many) were better.

I give it 3.0 Wish It Were A Crunchwrap out of 5 Wish It Were A Cruchwrap. 

Perhaps you are hesitant to accept that the AM Crunchwrap is a tasty breakfast item. I can understand that. Maybe you aren't willing to go to a Taco Bell in the morning. Also understandable. But perhaps you are also curious about it. There is a solution! It appears many people have had an AM Crunchwrap and they were willing to figure out how to  recreate it in their own kitchen. I haven't reached that stage but there are several home recipes that you can use to do just that. You have my full support in that endeavor. 

Breakfast Sandwich #139 - McDonald's (yet again) aka I Am One With The Billions

Sandwich: Sausage McMuffin with Egg
Location: McDonald's South Towne Mall
Date: August 3, 2019
Cost: $3.18 (I think?)

Let's get a couple of things out of the way right off the bat. I've reviewed McDonald's entirely too often - #17, #66, #83, #95 and #97 are the results of my trips through the Golden Arches. Then I tried to create a breakfast sandwich version of the The Big Mac that was somewhat successful and then about 4 months later McDonald's launched their Triple Breakfast Stacks which I swore I would never review. This was partly because it sounds like way too much saturated fat and calories and partly because these overloaded sandwiches usually get all the proportions wrong. If the proportions are off everything gets thrown out of whack. It doesn't work. Have you had a Kit Kat Big Kat? No bueno. It's a gimmick and I don't appreciate it. 

But then I woke up on this Saturday morning with a long day ahead of me and I thought "If not now, when?". Gimmicks be damned! It was decided I would take a plunge into the stacks and see how I emerged on the other side. Hold my feet, I'm going in!

Here's the thing - the Triple Stacks weren't shown the drive-thru menu. I inquired and she said they didn't have them. I was staring at the speaker so I couldn't see her eyes to tell if she was lying to me. (Hold on a minute. How long will it be before the drive-thru ordering system is a video screen with a generically attractive AI "person" taking your order and suggesting you try the new Mcberry McSwirly McSlush? I'll take the under on that. It's probably already happening in Japan. I'm not going to look it up.) My order was changed to the classic Sausage McMuffin with Egg but I was feeling uneasy and perplexed. Were they only offered at some locations? That doesn't make sense, it was a national campaign.

As far as I can tell (with minimal research), the Triple Breakfast Stacks were discontinued without warning or fanfare. We're probably all better off for it but now I regret my choice to avoid it. Dereliction of duty? Perhaps. None of you were going to eat one anyway, or were you? Did you? Please submit your reports. 

I was holding this in my hand in the car so please excuse the extra shitty quality of the photo. 

Now this is a nice photo. This is a throwback to the time we made homemade Big Macs, except I bought the buns from McDonalds. They even toasted them for me and put them in the fun little boxes. 

The Sandwich - Sausage McMuffin with Egg. You know what this is. What can I say about the Sausage McMuffin that you don't already know deep in your heart and hippocampus? Nothing. This was one done right. The cheese was all melty and the egg was the predictable puck and the sausage tasted exactly as expected which was the main reason I ordered this. 

The Result - 4.0 Billions and Billions Served out of 5 Billions and Billions Served. What can I say? I really enjoyed this. It fit perfectly with my morning which McDonalds had nothing to do with but yet they benefited from my great mood. Lucky them. I wasn't even upset that I didn't get to have a Triple Breakfast Stack. In fact, I'm elated. Happy Trails, Triple Breakfast Stack, we hardly knew ya'.

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Breakfast Sandwich #97 - McDonald's aka Again? Are You McFucking Kidding Me?

Sandwich: Egg McMuffin
Location: McDonald's (East Washington Ave.)
Date: July 22, 2017
Cost: $3.39

At this point you probably think I'm a corporate shill, bought and paid for by Big Sandwich to lobby for their interests on Capitol Hill or in some tiny, fetid backwater of the internet. I understand why you could think that. I reviewed McDonald's just over a month ago and if you're keeping track you know this is my FIFTH trip to a McDonald's, which is embarrassing.

Just read on and keep an open mind. McPlease. I'm just a McRegular guy reviewing McSandwiches of my own accord I would never let outside forces or McSponsorships stain my McIntegrity. I hope by now you would understand this. This has been a long journey and some of of you have been along for the entire ride so you know where I'm coming from.

What's important is to understand why I went back to McDonald's. The reasons are three-fold and they are intertwined and they are as follows.

#A) Convenience. That's right, McDonald's entire business model is built on convenience and that hooked me on this Saturday morning. I was out running errands and I wanted a fancy and delicious breakfast sandwich but didn't want to expend the time and effort to get such a thing. A quick and easy sandwich would sate my hunger and provide an opportunity for a review. See #B.

#B) A sense of obligation. If you think I take the readership here for granted, you are wrong. Any publisher will tell that it's important to provide regular content. You people are like sponges in the condiment aisle. You're sopping up the glorpy knowledge I'm throwing down. If I don't provide it, you'll go elsewhere. There are thousands of sandwich blogs you could be reading instead of this one.

#C) Completism. If you read review #95 you know I was shocked and disappointed that I had somehow neglected to review the all-time classic breakfast sandwich, the Egg McMuffin. This oversight had to be corrected before I hit sandwich #100. It was chasm in my research that called out to be filled.

Slightly defective muffin.

Not, you know, sexy looking.

The Sandwich - Egg McMuffin. At this point it's ubiquitous. It's the trunk of the breakfast sandwich family tree. All other breakfast sandwiches are indebted to the Egg McMuffin in some way.

After all this buildup I have to admit I was mostly disappointed with this sandwich. The overall texture was rubbery (not in a good way) and while it had less of a salty flavor than I thought it would, it didn't have much flavor at all. The muffin was toasty and had a light crunch and the cheese was melty, but those factors were not nearly enough to bring this sandwich into a positive light. 

There isn't much else to say about this sandwich. It was unimpressive and forgettable. 

The Result - 1.43 McFuck Its out of 5 McFuck Its. This sandwich moved from my Bucket List to my McFuck It List in the blink of an eye. It's hard out there for a sandwich, even a classic like the Egg McMuffin. The Egg McMuffin is surrounded by sandwich competition from within the golden arches, AND all the other fast food chains, AND all the coffee and donut shops, AND all these boutique sandwich joints sprouting up in every city. Somehow it has hung around all these years so it must have it's fans and supporters. Not this reporter.

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Breakfast Sandwich #67 - Ted's Market & Delicatessen aka I'm a Tedhead

Sandwich: Ted's McMuffin
Location: Ted's Market & Delicatessen
Date: October 14, 2016
Cost: $5

Things have gotten to the point where if I'm going to travel to another city I do a search for "Best breakfast sandwiches in Timbuktu". In this case I was traveling to San Francisco, not Timbuktu, so I knew there would be plenty of options.

Too many options, it turns out. The "best of" search turned up this and this and this and this. There were more, of course, but I already had more data than I could crunch. With those lists in hand I put on my green eyeshade and starting cross referencing selections and noting locations of desired sandwiches. I have to admit I even factored in some of the article comments. Wading into the comments section is always treacherous but in food related writings you can often find helpful tips such as recipe modifications and it's easy to tell if somebody is just a blowhard or a crank whose opinion you can ignore.

Having said all that, I made a list of San Francisco breakfast sandwiches that I wanted to try. I knew at best I would only get to try three, and that was only if I went out each morning I had available. That was unlikely to happen. Also, some are offered only during weekend brunch which narrowed it to one morning for those locations. I think you can see my dilemma. I think you can feel my dilemma. I had more sandwiches than time. This is always the case, but when traveling the feeling is magnified.

Because I put the effort in, because I sifted and winnowed for sandwich truth, I'm going to put my listings here in the hopes that it helps some intrepid traveling stomach. This list was heavily weighted towards where I was staying, which was "SoMa".

Devil's Teeth Baking Company. This was not really close to me at all which is the reason I never made it there. They rated high on at least two lists, and in comments. I shed a tear of regret over not making it to Devil's Teeth.

Arlequin Cafe. I don't remember what the appeal was. It was close by but I never made it.

Merigan Sub Shop. Well, shit. By the time I made it out there the web site said the store was closed for good. Too bad, the Breakfast section of the menu looked awesome. I shed another tear of regret over this one.

Réveille Coffee Co. I wanted their Toad In A Hole. Read about it here. They had me at "golden cyclops of a yolk-eye", but I didn't make it there either. More tears of regret.

Bacon Bacon. A couple people said this place is overrated and I was feeling that might be the case. Is it San Francisco's "Mickie's Dairy Bar", a place that tons of people love but that doesn't really seem to warrant the love? I don't know, I never made it.

The Grove. Breakfast served all day. I probably could have squeezed one in. No tears, no excuses.

Sulameria. Fried chicken & egg sandwich with prosciutto and chili hollandaise on a sesame seed bun. Damn. I think I really fucked up on skipping this one. No tear. Anger.

Cowgirl Creamery. I actually made it to the Ferry Building location but I didn't see a breakfast sandwich on the menu. I asked the lady but she said they had other sandwiches that day. There was confusion. I ended up with a Mt. Tam and Ham sandwich which was delicious but not a breakfast sandwich even though I ate it for breakfast. Then I ate oysters and a bloody mary to try to forget about the confusion. Then I ate Deem Sum which is not even close to being a breakfast sandwich but is super tasty. I give it all a 4.87 miscellaneous food items out of 5 miscellaneous food items. That Mt. Tam cheese is really something special.

That leaves me with Ted's Delicatessen. I actually went to Ted's and ordered a breakfast sandwich. It was just just down the block, probably 350 feet away. Ted's doesn't really look like what you picture when you think "deli", it's kind of a cross between a deli and a convenience store. Ted makes his own version of the McMuffin and there is a lot to like about that. I reviewed the original McMuffin over a year ago but was intrigued to see how Ted's compared.

Check out that little egg drawing that looks like a flying saucer. You can see they have a couple of options for breakfast sandwiches.

Ted's McMuffin. Ted doesn't skimp on the cheese.

Gooey. The English muffin top got a little messed up when I cut the sandwich.

The Sandwich - Ted's McMuffin. I'd like to know what inspired Ted to offer his own version of the McMuffin and if the McDonald's Legal Department has ever sent him a cease & desist letter. I guess not, or he probably would have changed the name of the sandwich. The only choice on the sandwich is what type of cheese - cheddar, swiss, pepper jack. I went with cheddar. The cheese was melty and plentiful, there was a layer on the top and bottom, and in the photos you can see how the egg was folded around the sausage. I appreciate that level of attention to detail. The English muffin was toasted and kept everything together and the sausage was salty and exactly what I had hoped for.

The Result - 4.35 Tedheads out of 5 Tedheads. I'm on board with Ted's McMuffin and Ted in general. I like Ted's style - ripping off McDonald's. This was a really great but simple breakfast sandwich. The price is right at $5, especially by San Francisco standards and it's far tastier than a regular McMuffin and worth the extra $1.71. It's ample enough to power you through the morning, in this case it got me through the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.

I think this has something to do with sandwiches.

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Breakfast Sandwich #66 - McDonald's aka A Return To The Classics

Sandwich: Sausage Egg Biscuit
Location: McDonald's
Date: September 16, 2016
Cost: $3.18

I reviewed the Egg McMuffin awhile ago and noted at the time that if asked to guess I would have said it comes with sausage on it. It turns out that the classic McMuffin has Canadian bacon on it, not sausage.

Lately I've been wanting for a sausage based breakfast sandwich and although this was probably not the best choice to sate that craving, it was convenient. That's how they get you, right?

"Add Round Egg" sounds funny and more than doubles the cost of the sandwich for reasons I don't understand. Eggs are cheap.

Aesthetically pleasing bag design.

Looks OK, right?

The eye is immediately drawn to that base layer of melted cheese.

The Sandwich - Sausage Egg Biscuit. I guess it's really a Sausage Biscuit and the Egg is an add on, but here is the shocking part - they ask you if you want your egg folded, or round. When did that start? It startled me when she said it and I just stared at the drive thru speaker for a bit and then asked her to repeat the question. "Do you want your egg folded or round?", she repeated, and the tone of her voice had a subtext of "dumbass" in it, which was probably not unfounded. I ordered the round egg because it's more visually appealing, usually it looks like cartoon food. I didn't tell her that part. I'm not sure how much of this sandwich is real food, but it does a pretty good job of posing as real food. The biscuit was alright, a little smooshy, but it didn't crumble apart. The round egg was cartoony and ok, I already knew it wouldn't be runny, and the cheese was nice and melty. The sausage had the exact sausage flavor I was craving. Overall, it was just about exactly what I thought it would be although a little on the salty side. After looking up the nutritional content it turns out it was a lot saltier than I thought, but it didn't taste as such. It has considerably less sodium than the Denny's sandwich I recently had, which isn't saying much.

The Result - 3.50 Better Than You Thinks out of 5 Better Than You Thinks. I intentionally avoided my previous McDonald's review so as not to color my opinion on this one - and now that I look it's the same sandwich, but on a biscuit instead of a muffin. Well, shit. I thought I reviewed the classic McMuffin with Canadian bacon last time. Nope. But, I have rated this sandwich much higher than that one. I can't change it now, that would be intellectually dishonest. I guess the crux of the biscuit is "what a difference a day (or biscuit) can make". Makes sense. Maybe the first time I went to this McDonald's the head chef was on vacation and the sous chef made my sandwich and he was a little hungover. I don't know. This sandwich was pretty good but I had low expectations and I think that helped. It shouldn't be a surprise that it was OK, they've been cranking out these sandwiches by the thousands for several decades.

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