Breakfast Sandwich #159 - Almost Forgotten Salami Sandwich

Sandwich: Lab Sandwich - English Muffin, chicken egg, hard salami, white cheddar, avocado, mild pepper rings, red onion

Date: May 11, 2020

Somehow I forgot about Sandwich #159 and went right to #160 so things are a little out of order but I couldn't just leave #159 off of the list so I'm backtracking a bit. It's going to be OK.

Hard salami and other non-breakfast sausages are underutilized on breakfast sandwiches. They have the desired salty and fatty components and in proper hands can make for an exceptional sandwich. It can also be wasted when handled by amateurs but we can't really blame the sausage in these specific instances. It will not surprise you that we have messed around with alternative breakfast sausages in the lab, sometimes with success and sometimes to a somewhat shameful conclusion. That's fine. We have to take some risks here, nobody wants to hear about bacon all the time. 

It's pretty even though the top looks much bigger than the bottom.

Gratuitous.

The Sandwich - If I recall properly this sandwich was the result of me being awake very early on a Monday and desiring a breakfast sandwich. I then took stock of what I had on hand, got a little creative, and here we are.

The Result - I made and ate this sandwich almost 7 weeks ago. I'm not going to sit here and breakdown the flavors and textures of this sandwich at this point, but I know it was delicious. I know the egg was cooked nicely and it was a gooey mess. I know I have yet to regret adding red onion or avocado to a sandwich. And I know that hard salami is a great meat for a breakfast sandwich.

Breakfast Sandwich #160 & #161 - Lab Reports, Of Course

Lab Sandwich #160 - Sourdough English Muffin, Bacon, Egg, Morel & Leek Jack Cheese, Chipotle Mayonaisse.
Date: April 10, 2020

Lab Sandwich #161 - Sourdough English Muffin, Bacon, Gouda, Egg, Avocado, Red Onion, Spicy Chili Crisp
Date: April 11, 2020

First, some confessional house cleaning. I skipped Sandwich #159. It doesn't exist. Sandwiches #160 and #161 have already been posted to the Instagram page so in the name of consistency I'm posting here with the same numbering and my next sandwich will be #159. I know you don't care but sandwich historians will appreciate this information. We're all about historical accuracy here during the age of pandemic.

Let's get right into it.

What's not to like? As far as my photos go, this one is pretty decent.

It doesn't look quite as pretty here. It looks kind of normal. So much hidden beneath the surface.

The Sandwich - Sourdough English Muffin, Bacon, Egg, Morel & Leek Jack Cheese, Chipotle Mayonaisse. This was a quick lunchtime breakfast sandwich. I was working from home and had all the goods with a special cheesy twist - a Morel & Leek Jack cheese from Laack Brothers Cheese Company. I also had a new jar of Chipotle Mayonnaise from Sir Kensington's. Not making a breakfast sandwich would have been foolish. The morel & leek cheese had a subtle, earthy flavor and that matched nicely with the smokiness of the chipotle mayo and bacon and the gooey yolk. This was a quick and easy winner, no doubt about it.

Don't ever skimp on the avocado.

It looks kind of skewed and crazy but also packed with enough flavor for at least two sandwiches.

What you're looking at here is more or less a blueprint for a flavor bomb. It sprayed my taste buds with shrapnel and the collateral damage is every breakfast sandwich that comes in its wake. Note that I overcooked the egg a bit so there wasn't any runny yolk and it DIDN'T EVEN MATTER. I think we're all learning a lot during this pandemic.

The Sandwich - Sourdough English Muffin, Bacon, Gouda, Egg, Avocado, Red Onion, Spicy Chili Crisp. I think the caption above sums it up nicely and there isn't much to add to it. The Spicy Chili Crisp put it over the top. My first breakfast sandwich experience with Spicy Chili Crisp really opened my third eye, as they sorta say in Sandwich Hinduism, but they call it the third slice, like that middle slice of bread on a club sandwich. This is a real thing and you should look into it. I can't explain it, I can only point you in the right direction.

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Breakfast Sandwiches #155 & #156 - Lab Report Or Perhaps A Love Letter

Sandwich: Lab Sandwich #155 - English Muffin, Egg, Bacon, American Cheese, Spicy Chili Crisp.
Date: February 13, 2020

Sandwich: Lab Sandwich #156 - Sourdough, Eggs, Bacon, American Cheese, Deli Deluxe Sharp Cheddar, Avocado, Spicy Chili Crisp
Date: February 27, 2020

I guess I'm late to the party for the Lao Gan Ma Spicy Chili Crisp Cult. I'm no fan of cults but I enjoy a nice party and the party is here, right here on my taste buds. The party rages and shows no signs of abetting. The neighbors can call the cops, who cares? We'll greet them on the front lawn and fling forkfuls of Spicy Chili Crisp in their direction and soon they'll join us and we'll make them a breakfast sandwich laden with Spicy Chili Crisp and after one big bite they'll let me take their guns and blast holes in the ceiling while we dance about and yell like idiots.

I don't know why I'm blasting holes in the ceiling of my kitchen. I guess this is cultish behavior after all.


This review was meant to be a love letter to Spicy Chili Crisp and it was easier to post it here than to actually mail it to:

Guiyang Nanming Laoganma Special Flavour Foodstuffs Co., LTD.
138-15 Jianlong Road, Longdongbao
Guiyang City, Guizhou 550012

I may still send them a postcard. My original plan for this review was to take one of the all-time great love letters and alter it to be about Spicy Chili Crisp but it seemed too (A) difficult, (B) confusing and (C) creepy (somehow):

‘My Own Condiment, Your flavour is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red-rose chili flakes of yours should be made no less for the madness of noodles and broccoli than for the madness of sandwiches. Your slim gilt soul is the flavour between passion and poetry.’

See what I mean? (Stolen from the letter of Oscar Wilde to Lord Alfred Douglas). Honestly, I like it, but it's still kind of weird.

Also, "Foodstuffs" is my new favorite word and I may start adding it to the end of every restaurant I mention. "OK, cool, I'll meet you at Los Gamelos Foodstuffs at 7".

This is what we're talking about. I'm getting Lao Gan Ma's face and apron tattoed on my neck next week.

Here is a little background on this sauce. The formatting of that page is horrific but it'll give you a good history of this foodstuff, if you care about that. From what I can tell she is the Chinese equivalent of Aunt Jemima and the Quaker Oats guy and Uncle Ben and Tony The Tiger all wrapped into one.

But you probably don't care about any of that.

You just want to know how it tastes and nothing I say here will truly elucidate the matter. But that won't stop me from saying it's oily, garlicky, crispy, spicy (but not overly so) and rich. My favorite word to describe it though is "earthy". Yeah, earthy. I'm not even going to try to explain that, you'll just have to try it for yourself. Rather than read about my sandwiches you should already be on your way to the Asian Market (or for my Asian readers, "The Market") to get some of this stuff.

So, what's all this about? It's about how this condiment pairs so perfectly with chicken egg. That's what we set out to research with these sandwiches and you can already tell how well it went.

It's so cute.

Overcooked the egg a bit but you can see that spicy chili crisp creeping out and that is VERY exciting.

The Sandwich - English Muffin, Egg, Bacon, American Cheese, Spicy Chili Crisp. A classic breakfast sandwich combination now enhanced by Spicy Chili Crisp. It's a full, wide flavor (which sounds like I'm describing some new kind of Marlboro, but I'm not.) The egg was not as runny as I would have liked it but I wasn't worried about it on this day. The sandwich was fantastic but I knew I had to try it in a different configuration.

 You can see the Spicy Chili Crisp lurking beneath the perfectly ripe avocado. The top piece of bread holds my last slice of Deli Deluxe Cheddar Kraft Single and a slice of Kraft American Cheese.

Terrible photo of yolky deliciousness.

 The Sandwich - Sourdough Bread, Egg, Bacon, American Cheese, Deli Deluxe Sharp Cheddar, Avocado, Spicy Chili Crisp. I had one slice of the Deli Deluxe Cheddar left but I didn't think that was enough so I added an American Single. This was my only misstep on this sandwich, I think when it combined with the sourdough it made it just a bit gummy on the palate. Otherwise, this might be the best breakfast sandwich I've ever made. The Spicy Chili Crisp and the avocado paired perfectly with the chicken eggs, cheese and bacon and I don't have anything else to say about this sandwich other than when I took the first big bite I loudly proclaimed "Holy Fuck That Is Tasty". Can I get a witness?

I remember it fondly.
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Breakfast Sandwich #145 - Lab Sandwich on National Sandwich Day aka Throwing Our Vegetarian Friends A Bone

Sandwich: Lab Sandwich - Chicken Egg (puck style), Smoked Gouda, Avocado, Red Onion, Leftover Wheat Bun

Date: November 3, 2019

When I saw that National Sandwich Day was falling on a Sunday this year I knew that I would have to skip church and seek salvation in a sandwich. It's the only true path. Your absolution lies between the slices of bread. Accept this or be damned to an eternity of overly-mayonnaised sandwiches. The horror! I wouldn't wish that on most people but let's be honest - some folks don't deserve a good sandwich. 

My loose plan was to go out to one of my favorite breakfast sandwich joints and really wallow in the beauty of the day. That changed when I realized I had all the makings of a fine breakfast sandwich, sans meat. A lab experiment unfolded before my very eyes. A perfectly ripe avocado, leftover hamburger buns, smoked Gouda cheese, red onion. Never waste a perfectly ripe avocado.

The bun dictated that the egg be cooked puck style. We're going to go behind the scenes in the lab here for a minute while I confess that I broke the yolk of the first egg. I promptly ditched the egg and started over. Most days I would have gone with it but not on a National Holiday. I went outside, lowered my flag to half-staff and started over with a fresh egg. Somewhere a rooster crowed "Taps".

That Gouda didn't melt as Gouda as I would have liked it to but that avocado is in its prime.

That's the oozy yolk we strive for.

The Results - It was missing that salty and fatty flavor that dead animals provide but this was a real treat. Avocado and red onion are great together and a little Cholula Hot Sauce pushes it over the top. The Gouda didn't melt properly but did add a slightly smokey flavor - just not as much as bacon would have. Starting over with a new egg was the right move on this reverent day. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #140 - Bassett Street Brunch Club aka Doy!

Sandwich: Bagel Breakfast Sandwich w/bacon
Location: Bassett Street Brunch Club
Date: August 10, 2019
Cost: $12.45, with mixed greens or potatoes.

There has been a casual goal of revisiting locations in 2019 to see if they have have spruced up their menus or upped their game, or, just to try a different sandwich. That hasn't been happening much but I have made it back to Kwik Trip, Gotham Bagels and McDonald's. Let's be honest here, Kwik Trip and McDonald's barely count. They're just slinging out grab-n-go sandwiches instead creating something made to order. They could be making their sandwiches with love, it's not impossible, but their modus operandi is efficiency and volume.

I knew I wanted to get back to Bassett Street Brunch Club for a few reasons. #A, I was aware that they had changed the menu and the breakfast sandwich was now different than the one I had waaaaay back at Breakfast Sandwich #5. #B, the Horchata Latte - steamed horchata poured through espresso. People have a specific reactions when I tell them about this drink, they either insist they need it immediately or they are nonplussed at my enthusiasm. #C, due to the location of B.S.B.C, it's really only convenient to visit via bicycle, and early in the day at that. When I'm on a sandwich mission I don't have the patience to stand in line and I'm not going to drive downtown and try to find somewhere to park my car. That's dumb. I was awake early and it was pleasant biking weather and I felt that my mission was clear.

Today was the day for the repeat visit. It was obvious. It was in my daily sandwich horoscope - "Bacon has just entered the house of Virgo and with chicken egg in retrograde there is no better time for runny yolk to make it's presence felt. Remember that when emotions get oozy a simple piece of toasted bread can provide the balance needed to focus on the present." Doy.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu cause I was distracted by the Horchata Latte. Who cares? Here is the description:

Bagel Breakfast Sandwich

A toasted "everything" bagel filled with a fried egg, avocado, cheddar, and pesto aioli. Served with breakfast potatoes or mixed greens. Add ham or bacon for 1.50.

I don't know what happened with this photo but it looks like I took it using a drone or something. (I didn't.)

As far as my generally crappy photos go, this one is pretty good. I feel like I really Leibovitzed this one. 

The Sandwich - Bagel Breakfast Sandwich. I added the bacon. Doy. I didn't bike all the way down there to not have bacon. Plus, my sandwich horoscope was pretty clear about bacon. First impression - the bagel was way under toasted if it was toasted at all. It may have just been sitting in a warm room. I admit it rankled me a bit. Second impression -  I wish that egg would have been runny. Third impression - the avocado was perfectly ripe and I've said it before but more breakfast sandwiches should have avocado. The avocado and the pesto aioli teamed up to give this a wonderful creamy texture that played well off the salty bacon. The pesto aioli was understated in a good way and the cheddar wasn't particularly forefront either. But here is how it fell short of it's potential - cook that egg over-medium so the yolk is runny, toast the bagel to a crispy outer layer and let the diner wallow in the slopification of it all. Here's an extra napkin. Of all the bagels the "everything" bagel seems to benefit most from toasting. I think it's the sesame seeds.

The Result - 3.59 Doys out of 5 Doys. It's a tasty sandwich but we don't grade potential here, we grade results. It had room for improvement, especially at the $12.45 price point. That's a bit pricey but avocados are like bitcoins right now, you never know how much they're going to cost. Maybe that's part of it. The mixed greens help, I've stated my love of mixed greens with a sandwich numerous times and these were zippy and tangy and exactly what you think they were. Still, it's just some mixed greens. I'm probably starting to sound like a cheapskate. 

They still have the robot theme going on here and I still don't understand it but I do like it. 

Now that I've completed this review it's safe to check my notes from the previous review. Hmmm, very similar comments on the greens and the robots. I also sound like a cheapskate in that review but it was a different sandwich. I did rank this one higher but I think know my rankings have been increasing in general since 2015. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #136 - Not a Lab Sandwich aka Which Came First, The Sandwich Or The Wrap?

Sandwich: Chicken Thigh, Chicken Egg, Buffalo Wing Monterey Jack, Avocado, Red Onion, Multigrain Wrap.

Date: July 4, 2019 

It's likely that most of you are not scientists or sandwichologists. Still, many of you are probably familiar with how laboratory testing works - you have constants and controls and you have variables that you are testing. This can be applied to sandwich construction as we've seen in previous posts.

This sandwich (actually a wrap but we're calling it a sandwich) was nothing but wild variables. It was closer to free jazz outfreakage than my normal lab work.

I thought I had items to make a breakfast sandwich. And I did, kind of. I had eggs and cheese. The lone English muffin was well past it's prime and I had polished off the last of the bacon earlier in the week. The only protein I had was leftover chicken thigh and the only decent bread-like material was a multigrain wrap. There were options for cheese but I already sensed this was going off the rails so I went with the last of the StoneRidge Buffalo Wing Monterey Jack. (Those folks at StoneRidge are doing some fine work and deserve your attention if you aren't familiar.) I scrounged for an avocado and red onion and felt like I had the makings for a decent sandwich. 

There was the question of how to cook the chicken eggs. I came *this* close to making them with a runny yolk just to see what would happen. That would have been foolish. No reasonable person would put an egg with a runny yolk into a wrap, but reasonable people don't have sandwich blogs. What would Ornette Coleman do? I settled for the responsible choice and scrambled the eggs. 

Don't worry, there is a layer of melted cheese under all that goodness. That's Cholula hot sauce.

Aww man, I used those fancy toothpicks with the colored curly thingys and then I cropped it off cause I got excited about the gooey cheese and avocado.

The Sandwich - I think we've covered that to the extent that it needs covering. 

The Result - The flavors came together really well but it didn't taste like a breakfast sandwich and wasn't actually a sandwich and truth be told it wasn't breakfast either. I sat down to eat this at 12:10 so it was really lunch, which is where wraps belong. A wrap doesn't feel like breakfast. But let's get back to the flavor. I think the reason it didn't taste like a breakfast sandwich was the lack of fat and salt that bacon or sausage provide. So, it was a healthy breakfast sandwich that wasn't a sandwich. This was more like a breakfast burrito than a sandwich. It doesn't even belong here but it's too late now. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #101 - Dobhan aka Hamaste

Sandwich: Dobhan Egg Sandwich
Location: Dobhan
Date: September 17, 2017
Cost: $9, with greens

Everything I've had at Dobhan has been delicious and yet I've only gone there a few times. I did have breakfast there several years ago, long before this sandwich quest began, and I did not have a breakfast sandwich. This is an amazing story so far, right? It's a real page turner (mouse scroller?).

I looked at the menu prior to going and I was hoping there would be some kind of Lamb & Egg Dosa special that I could pretend was a sandwich. I've reviewed crepes before and a dosa is about the same thing so that was my hope for the morning. That's right, I went into this planning to skirt the rules. Well, it didn't happen that way so I have no need to justify eating a dosa.

There was dosa, to be sure, just not the dosa I hoped for. 

Very pretty indeed.

Hamaste? That's really a stretch. Listen, I'm phoning this one in, OK?

The Sandwich - Dobhan Egg Sandwich. No options are offered. There were a couple of mysteries with this sandwich. The biggest is the ham - other items on the menu offer Nueske's ham, the sandwich only lists "ham", which was a single slice of what appeared to be standard deli ham. It could have ben Nueske ham but I really don't know. The other mystery is that the sandwich had cheese on it, which was not listed on the menu. I'm certainly not opposed to adding cheese to a sandwich, or pretty much anything other than say, toothpaste. In this case I think it was a swiss cheese. The chicken egg was hard scrambled, the tomato was juicy and in season, and the avocado was perfectly ripe. The lightly toasted sourdough bread buttressed everything handily and was a welcome choice. I can't remember the last time I had a breakfast sandwich on sourdough but I think it's an excellent vehicle for eggs and their friends. Oh yes, the greens. I always like greens with my breakfast sandwich and these were particularly fresh and sprightly.

The Result - 3.965 mystery hams out of 5 mystery hams. This was a good sandwich but I was slightly confused about the ham and the cheese. The ham was essentially lost among the other flavors with the sourdough, egg, tomato and avocado stepping to the forefront. And that was OK, it was tasty, but there was still a whiff of confusion. 

I don't know, maybe I really just wanted a lamb and egg dosa and I'm taking out my frustrations on the ham.

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Breakfast Sandwich #87 - Back In The Lab With Bacon & Pimento Cheese

Sandwich: Bacon, Pimento Cheese, Avocado, Chicken Egg, Red Pepper Spread, English Muffin
Location: The Lab
Date: April 11, 2017

At the risk of appearing as though I'm padding my stats, I'm reviewing another creation from the lab. Let it be known that I have made and eaten several breakfast sandwiches in the past weeks that I did NOT include here. Those were fine sandwiches but this particular sandwich merits inclusion due to the pimento cheese.

If you follow golf at all you know that The Masters Golf Tournament took place this past weekend. You probably don't care about golf but you may care to know that The Masters is famous for the pimento cheese sandwich they sell at the tournament. A few years ago I found a recipe and have been making it ever since. I searched for the recipe today and there are several versions online, all of which are probably tasty. Southern Living, some Chef Guy, and a weird Golf Unfiltered web site are just a few of the places that can tell you how to make pimento cheese. Take your pick. They are all a little different and likely not the real Augusta National recipe.

Anyway, I made pimento cheese and rather than put it on crappy white bread I picked up a nice baguette from Batch Bakehouse and took it to a party. As I was mixing the cheese I thought that it would probably be good on a breakfast sandwich and I knew there would be some leftover, so, here we are.

There is a lot to like here.

Ohhhhhhhhh BABY!

OK, so I overcooked the egg a little bit.

The Sandwich - Bacon, Pimento Cheese, Avocado, Chicken Egg, Red Pepper Spread, English Muffin. Specifically, Usinger's bacon, Roland Red Pepper Spread and Thomas' Light Multi-Grain English Muffin. The real bonus of using pimento cheese is that it melts so nicely and gets into every nook and cranny of your sandwich, and thus, your tastebuds. The recipe I use has pepper jack cheese in it so it has a slight kick. What else can I say about this sandwich? Look at it. It was beautiful. It was tasty. It should have been put in a museum but instead it went into my belly and I have no regrets. Wait, I do regret overcooking the egg a bit, there was scant yolk-ooze. 

The Result - Delicious. Just go make some pimento cheese. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #79 - A Two Cheezer Jobber

I was out of bacon but I had a perfectly ripe avocado and some Newly Wed English Muffins so I doubled down on the cheese and got to work.

Breakfast Sandwich #79 - butterkase, brick, chicken egg, avocado, Cholula hot sauce, English Muffin. 

Beauty

That's a lot of tasty and gooey cheese.

The Result - It's all about the muffin. Previous homemade sandwiches were on Bays English Muffins but this sandwich was on Newly Wed brand. The Newly Weds claim to be 25% bigger than some English Muffins. They do look bigger but I didn't have any Bays left for measurement comparison. The biggest difference is that the Newly Weds are a little spongier, with less craters and crevices for gooey bits to get caught in. Compare photos of this sandwich to #77 and #78 and you'll be able to see the difference. The Bays appear less uniform on the flat surfaces, I'm not sure what that says about their baking process or whatever, but they have a different look to them. I also think the Bays crisp up more when toasting because they are less dense. This is some actual scientific shit right here! If we can get a Muffinologist in here to explain this that would be fantastic. The density of your muffin is a personal preference, both brands are tasty and sufficient for a breakfast sandwich.

Anyway, with loads of creamy cheese, a runny egg, perfectly ripe avocado, delicious hot sauce, a bit of fresh ground pepper - of course this was an amazing sandwich. 

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Breakfast Sandwiches #77 and #78 - I Still Have That Toaster Oven

This is going to amount to nothing more than notes for myself about the last two sandwiches I made which is to say nobody is going to want to read it. However, as noted previously, these sandwiches must be documented. One day when I sit down to write my dissertation so I can get my PhD in the Sandwich Arts I will need these notes but in the meantime I don't expect you to care or to even read this. Hopefully some institution of higher learning will grant me an Honorary Sandwich Doctorate so I don't have to go through all that.

Anyway, you could be watching cat videos and I won't be offended if you leave to do just that. Just in case you want to hang around for a minute here is a guy feeding bacon to his cat like he's in Lady and the Tramp.

Breakfast Sandwich #77 - bacon, pepper jack, avocado, egg, mayo, Cholula hot sauce, English Muffin.

Good Golly Miss Molly!

Very nice. 

#77 Result - A bit of experimentation gone wrong but disaster averted. I thought it might be smart to preheat the toaster oven. It was not. I ended up burning the top half of the muffin which I'm chalking up to not having control of the temperature. While I was pulling the slightly burnt muffin from the toaster and slathering a bit of mayo on it to counteract the dryness I also overcooked the egg a bit. At that point of my mild panic attack somebody should have been playing Yakety Sax as the soundtrack. The avocado was perfectly ripe so I had that going for me although I had to contend with the pieces trying to slide out the sides every time I took a bite. That's how it goes with avocado. I was worried that the pepper jack and Cholula might gang up to make it too spicy but that was not an issue. The pepper jack cheese was somewhat mild and I've never found Cholula to be particularly hot, just flavorful, and it pairs so well with avocado. Overall it was a mighty fine sandwich and lessons were learned, but it could have been better.
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Breakfast Sandwich #78 - bacon, brick cheese, avocado, egg, Cholula, English Muffin.

Pretty as a picture.

A little sloppy, a lot tasty. 

#78 Result - Shit Damn! We've really got something going here. This one turned out so damn fine it was like Salma Hayek on a muffin. You can see the chicken egg turned out exactly how I wanted it. The avocado was (still) perfectly ripe (it was the other half of the same avocado used in #77). Minor quibbles - the cheese could have been a bit meltier and the muffin could have been toasted a bit more. The bacon was sizzling and smoking so I pulled them from the oven before the cheese and muffin reached optimal levels. So it goes. There were no regrets. The brick cheese is mild but when adding salty bacon and hot sauce it works perfectly. This was a Sunday morning sandwich done right and a great reward for 90 minutes of snow shoveling.

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