Breakfast Sandwich #55.1 - Taco Bell Breakfast Quesalupa Guest Review

The Quesalupa was deemed enough of a cultural phenomena to warrant a guest review. This weeks reviewer is Molly Murn, whose breakfast sandwich credentials include being willing to eat a breakfast Quesalupa and promising to write about it. That was really all I needed to know in order to line up this review. Also, I think she writes funny things.
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Dig if you will this picture, of you and I engaged in eating a Taco Bell Quesalupa!  Disclaimer: reading this is sort of like reading a "reply-all" e-mail when you're not the intended recipient. You're welcome.

OK, I'm not quite Prince and this is not quite as compelling, but I do implore you to at least try this special, once, before it's gone.  I realize I'm not in marketing and I'm not going to get anything out of promoting this breakfast taco, other than 100 percent of your respect.  Respect aside, here is my guest review of the Quesalupa.

It's not a fourth meal unless you've been up all night, or if you work fourth shift, but I digress.

Based off the queso and crunchy deep fried el gringo flour casing, this b-fast taco get's 8 out of 10 smiley face emoji's. In translation - I would eat this again, even if it made my stomach hurt.  If you're not the type to risk it all, you'd probably put it n the 5 out of 10 smiley face emoji's range. To be fair, my stomach is accustomed to this sort of debauchery.  

If you're still reading this - let's cover the important deets: The 'lupa comes with queso, meats, cheese, lettuce, tomato and sour cream, I added bacon.  OBVIOUSLY.  If you want actual facts you have to read Patrick's review.  I'm not a fact based reviewer.  I like concepts, ideas and misjudgments.  Speaking of opinions - he's right, in the fact that it's super salty, just like you after I steal yo man.  Wait... no.  Anyways, it's super salty but I kind of like taking in more than 500 times the daily nutritional recommendation of sodium.  If you see me passed out at my desk I can assure you this is one of many valid reasons why.  

Personally I would trade this Quesalupa in if they brought back the chili cheese burrito, but I'm not sure who you have to sleep with to accomplish such a momentous task.  I would, if paid, eat at least 10 of these at a Quesalupa eating competition.  Now that I think of it, someone should create a breakfast sandwich and breakfast taco eating competition.  YOU BE THE JUDGE! 

In summary, I would suggest you try this taco (read only this sentence out-loud to your nearest co-worker, friend or significant other RIGHT NOW.)  

Keep their heads (and breakfast taco's) ringin'! Ring Ding Dong.. Ring a Ding Ding Dong.

-Murnout

Breakfast Sandwich #55 - Taco Bell Quesalupa aka Fake Words

There is also a guest review of the Breakfast Quesalupa here. It's not really a "point/counterpoint" situation but that would have fun had it worked out that way.
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Sandwich: Breakfast Quesalupa with Sausage
Location: Taco Bell (E. Washington Ave.)
Date: March 23, 2016
Cost: $3.54 ($2.99 +.25 for pico de gallo + .30 for sour cream)

Is a Quesalupa a sandwich? No. It is, however, one of America's hottest selling breakfast items (I can't back that up with any statistics) and since I forgot about Taco Tuesday I decided to celebrate Quesalupa Wednesday. Is Quesalupa a real word? No.

If I had bothered to do any research prior to going to Taco Bell I may have decided against doing this review as there are already a glut of Queso-pinions online. From local reviews to discussions of the marketing aspect, you could spend the better part of a weekend reading about, or watching annoying youtube videos about the Quesalupa. (Skip ahead to the 4:00 mark if you want to see the old guy complain about the food, which is not a Quesalupa.) Here is an entertaining and informative review which is a better read than what I wrote. (I didn't read her entire review until I was done writing this). Well, shit, it's too late now, I have to write this.

I reviewed the Taco Bell AM Crunchwrap in June of 2015 so Taco Bell is the first place to get a return visit and review. That is embarrassing. I have barely started this review and I'm already filled with shame.

Taco Bell breakfast menu here.

The Taco Bell receipt art game is strong.

Stretchy cheese poster. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of cheese. 

There it is.

The Sandwich - Breakfast Quesalupa with sausage, pico de gallo and sour cream. When I ordered the pico and sour cream the lady felt the need to point out that those are "the cornerstones of Mexican food". I think that somehow made this Taco Bell experience more authentic. As I mentioned, I hadn't done any prior research so I didn't know the whole catch with the Quesalupa is that they put a bunch of cheese sauce on the tortilla and then build on top of that. I didn't try to cut the thing in half to show the innards but that would have really illustrated the featured ingredient of the Quesalupa. The sausage is on top of the queso cheese sauce and the eggs, potatoes, etc. are piled on top of that. The Quesalupa isn't exceptionally large although that seems to be the angle they market, along with the stretchy cheese. Anyway, when it comes to flavor, the Quesalupa isn't too bad. It's not great, it was too salty for my tastes but the sour cream and pico helped with that. The eggs get lost in the cheese and salty potato bites, but the queso cheese is a nice addition if you can accept that eating artificial cheese in the morning is OK every once in awhile. The sausage patty was small, it took a couple of bites to get to it which only revealed it's salty disposition. The fried tortilla thing was better than I expected, it didn't have the greasy sheen I imagined it would and it kept the 'Lupa together even after extraction from the cardboard cradle.

The Result - 3.4 fake Mexican foods out of 5 fake Mexican foods. The overly salty taste knocked this down some as did the slight queasy feeling that started about 30 minutes after I ate it. Luckily the queasiness only lasted for about an hour. Queasylupa. That's also not a word.

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Breakfast Sandwich #54 - Barriques (Atwood) aka The Breakfast Slider

Sandwich: Barriques Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Barriques (Atwood)
Date: March 17, 2016
Cost: $3.90 ($2.65 + $1.25 for bacon)

The newest Barriques opened on Atwood Avenue in November. I almost reviewed their Fitchburg location several months ago, but the line was back to the door and I didn't have time to wait. Well, they opened a store closer to me. That was thoughtful. It's a nice space, lots of windows and natural light and garage doors they can open when conditions are right. The area has limited parking but regular visitors to that stretch of Atwood probably have that figured out.

I didn't take a photo of the menu but here is a link.

Sandwich in the sun.

Sliced slider

The Sandwich - Barriques Breakfast Sandwich. I opted to have the bacon added. In retrospect I probably could have gotten one with sausage as well. These are compact little sandwiches, they're almost a slider to be honest, and I was pretty hungry when I arrived. I didn't know the size at the time so I only ordered one. Ordering two would perhaps be excessive, but I could have easily eaten both. The sandwich came out quickly, you could order one of these to go if you have a little extra time before you need to get to work. The egg is fried and there is a good amount of Hook's cheddar that I wish would have been more melty. There wasn't a lot of bacon and it was kind of shunted over to one side, requiring some redistribution. The bun was very squishy and had a slight sweetness that wasn't working for me.

The Result - 3.8 Sliders out of 5 Sliders. It's a decent little sandwich. It is small but the price is right for the size. If you don't want bacon or sausage it's under $3 and there aren't a lot of options out there for that amount. (I'm just going to assume you don't want to visit the Taco Bell $1 menu). For me, this is more of a snack than a compact meal, but your mileage may vary. My main issue was that I didn't care for the sweetness of the bun. Again, that may not be an issue for some. Looking at the menu they have some wraps that look pretty awesome and are likely more substantial. I will probably opt for a wrap on a return visit.

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Breakfast Sandwich #53 - Bloom Bake Shop aka Good Neighbors

Sandwich: Wisconsin Biscuit Sandwich
Location: Bloom Bake Shop
Date: March 12, 2016
Cost: $7

Bloom Bake Shop was recommended by a couple of people and I had been hoping to get out there for awhile but I was waiting for an opportunity to find myself in Middleton. It was starting to look like that situation wasn't going to present itself so I just went. It's a real journey to get there, 9.7 miles to be exact. By Madison standards that is a long way. This isn't Southern California. I mean, it's another whole town, village, city. Middleton is the "Good Neighbor City".

Before you even get into Bloom, you are greeted with this:

A SANDWICH ON A SANDWICH BOARD! YAAAYYY. Also, it looks like somebody lost a brick. 

That sign is pretty neighborly, you have to admit.

Wall menu.

It looks even better than the one on the sandwich board.

The Sandwich - Wisconsin Biscuit Sandwich. No options offered although by the way it is worded on the menu it seems like the cheese may vary from time to time. I should have asked what was on mine but it was a melty, stringy, white cheese. The sandwich came out nicely stacked and looking all perky on the plate. It really was an attractive sandwich. The chicken egg wasn't cooked runny how I like it but it is apparently local, like everything else on this sandwich. There is a really good chance that they know the name of the chicken that made the eggs. The biscuit is a standout here - flakey and buttery and all those words everybody uses to describe a good biscuit. It wasn't crumbly and held up well. For me, the real secret to this sandwich was the stone ground mustard. I don't know what kind it was but it blended with everything perfectly and was portioned well with a couple of small pockets of extra mustardy goodness tucked into places. Of course the bacon was great.

The Result - 4.91 Good Neighbors out of 5 Good Neighbors. This is an excellent sandwich. Perhaps a little on the pricey side but thats what you get with all those local/free range/GMO Free/organic/freshly-tickled ingredients. Whatever. It's a delicious, simple, standard breakfast sandwich. The basics done as they should be. The shop is comfortable and the service is friendly and excellent. While I was there several people came in for their cakes or cupcakes or whatever they ordered for their parties. I'm guessing the baked items are fantastic and have a reputation unto themselves.

While I was driving out there I considered going to Hubbard Avenue Diner as well, just to get some extra research in. I abandoned that plan as foolish after this sandwich. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #52 - Wilson's Sports Bar & Grill aka Give Me The Remote

Sandwich: Egg Sandwich
Location: Wilson's Sports Bar & Grill
Date: March 5, 2016
Cost: $4.75

Over the past several years I've probably eaten more breakfast sandwiches at Wilson's than at any other spot. Friends had tipped me off that they make a solid egg sandwich and it became a somewhat regular stop on weekends, especially during football season when the bar atmosphere can take on a certain je ne sais quoi.

When this breakfast sandwich blog idea was hatched Wilson's was #2 on the list and I thought it would be one of the first places I would visit. For no particular reason, that didn't happen.

It's all about the options

It was kind of dark in there, I'm surprised this photo turned out at all.

That's what we're looking for.

The Sandwich - Eggs over-medium, bacon, American cheese on rye. You have options at Wilson's. As soon as you walk in you get to decide which of the regulars you want to sit next to at the bar, or rather, which televised sporting event you want to be situated in front of. They have several hundred televisions showing a variety of sports so you should be able to find something you like. I chose a Women's Beach Cricket Tournament, coming in live on satellite from Calcutta. (Thanks to the Rajasthan Lady Tigers I won 200 rupee from the guy sitting next to me). For the breakfast sandwich you can order your egg as you like it, choice of meat as seen on the menu, choice of American, swiss or pepper jack cheese (I think) and choice of bread (wheat, rye, white, maybe sourdough?) I'm going off memory here on the cheese and bread, I didn't even ask what they had since I already knew what I was ordering.

My bacon was a tiny bit overdone as was the egg. There was plenty of melty cheese though so that kind of made up for the egg. The bread could have been toasted a bit more also. 

The Result - 3.9 televisions out of 5 televisions. The sandwich was pretty good but I know they can do better. They have been more consistent in the past. Today wasn't quite their day, these things happen. Still, it was an enjoyable sandwich and I like that there are several options available so you can build your sandwich as you like it. The price is right too. The hash browns weren't up to their usual level either. They were a little underdone, but somehow had an overly hard layer of melted cheese on the bottom. All that said, I know I'll be back, probably right around the time the Badger football team starts conference play. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #51 - Xoco aka Gas Up The Car You're Gonna Need to Take A Drive

Sandwich: Chorizo-Egg Torta
Location: Xoco (Chicago, Ill.)
Date: February 20, 2016
Cost: $8.00

I had a trip to Chicago planned and naturally started my pre-research for breakfast options. I looked at two lists online and both included Xoco which happened to be close to my hotel. Xoco sounded familiar and it took me a minute to remember that Serious Eats had made a list of Must-Eat Breakfast Sandwiches Across America which I had referenced in March of 2015. That made the choice easy as there were several enticing options. Chicago Eater also posted a list of 15 breakfast sandwiches that includes Xoco but I didn't see it until today.

Xoco is a Rick Bayless restaurant and is next door to his Frontera Grill which I went to about 12 years ago and might be the first place I tasted mezcal. None of this is important although Rick Bayless is probably one of only a handful of famous chefs I can name. After Julia Childs and Aunt Jemima I start to run out of ideas. I had no idea until this writing that 7 different women filled the role of Aunt Jemima and one, Rosie Hall, had her grave declared a national landmark. Other not-important-information is that Rick Bayless is the brother of Skip Bayless.

If you need some lousy photos of a menu, I'm your guy.

Everything about these looked enticing and I was leaning towards getting a blood orange margarita until I saw that Xoco has "bean to cup" hot chocolate. I know that sounds like some pretentious hipster garbage but I ordered one and it turns out its the best damn cup of hot chocolate I ever had.

Oh my goodness. What a fine, fine looking sandwich. 

The Sandwich - Chorizo-Egg Torta. I while back I reviewed a chorizo based breakfast sandwich which at the time struck me as odd, mostly because it was not at a Mexican style restaurant. Chorizo makes more sense at this place and I already knew I was ordering this at least a week before I got there. I'm just going to cut to the chase and say there was nothing wrong with this sandwich and I couldn't find a single thing I would have changed about it. The bread was toasted and a little crunchy on the outside, but chewy and soft beneath the crust. The chorizo was fantastic, not too cinnamonny or greasy or fatty. Fluffy eggs, perfectly ripe avocado, a nice compliment of cheese, and tomatillo salsa to drizzle on every bite. Perfect. After I was done I used my fork to clean up the little bits that had fallen in the basket, then I licked the wax paper it had been on, then I ate the wax paper. I had spilled a tiny bit on the table so I ate the table and when the kid sitting next to me started looking at me funny I told him he was throwing his youth away on a stupid order of French Toast. Dumb kid. He didn't even have a hot chocolate.

I should note that I had several bites of the Zucchini-Egg-Poblano Torta and that also was fantastic. It had a little tarragon or thyme flavor to it. Something tasty was happening there but I was too caught up in my own sandwich to focus on that.

The Result - 5 primo hot chocolates out of 5 primo hot chocolates. Some people don't believe in true love and I don't know what you can say to those people. They have to find out on their own. I considered giving this sandwich a 4.99 simply because it's 146 miles from my house - but that's not fair to the sandwich. We strive to provide fair and accurate research here. 

DON'T EVER CHANGE CHORIZO-EGG TORTA, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

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Breakfast Sandwich #50 - Waypoint Public House aka Back In The Saddle

Sandwich: Pork Belly Sandwich
Location: Waypoint Public House
Date: January 24, 2016
Cost: $12, comes with brunch potatoes or tossed greens

Holy crap. I went almost 4 weeks without consuming a breakfast sandwich. This behavior would have been unheard of in 2015. It's a whole new year though and after I published the year end wrap-up/ranking list I needed to slow down a bit. There are several spots I meant to get to in 2015 but circumstances prevented me from doing so, which means I have an excuse for continued research. It's good to be back in the saddle, so to speak.

Waypoint Public House is the new(ish) place in Monona that the southeast side of Madison (and Monona) has been buzzing about. I've heard a lot of comments about how this part of town needed something like this and a few folks asked if I had been there for brunch yet, so I knew I had to get there.

Not only did I go 6 weeks without having a breakfast sandwich, but the gap between my sandwich consumption and this writing is about the same. This is shoddy journalism folks, if it can even be considered journalism.

Waypoint is bigger than I thought it would be and it's laid out as two rooms with a large L shaped bar. They have a really good looking beer list that I'll sample some other time. That's something else that this area of town was lacking. (I know Mr Brews is across the street but I'm not sure which place opened first.)

I haven't lost my touch - I can still take a crappy photo of a menu.

This one turned out pretty damn good.

Getting to the heart of the matter. 

The Sandwich - the singular breakfast sandwich option at Waypoint is the Pork Belly Sandwich (I'm not counting the Breakfast Burger although that is a breakfast sandwich by definition). I went with the tossed greens on the side even though the sandwich has arugula on it. I like the English Muffin as the bread although this could have been toasted more. The chicken egg was cooked just how I like it. Then there is the pork belly. Crispy, but less salty than bacon, it was a subtle and refreshing change from bacon. I remember enjoying the tossed greens but I didn't take any notes and that was 6 weeks ago. How much could there be to say about tossed greens other than its the nutritious option when compared to the potatoes? I did try my companions potatoes and they were tasty and crispy, and the bloody mary was good too.

The Result - 3.95 saddle sores out of 5 saddle sores. This was a fine sandwich but it didn't have enough going on to really wow me. At $12 I felt it could have been a little more substantial. I guess thats my main beef. The aioli didn't quite make up for the sandwich not having cheese. I'm not sure but this might have the first sandwich reviewed that didn't have cheese on it. Is that possible? It might be. All said, It's a good sandwich and I like the space. I'll definitely be back to have cold beers on the patio and maybe try a lunch or dinner option.

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