Friday, April 8, 2016

Breakfast Sandwich #55.1 - Taco Bell Breakfast Quesalupa Guest Review

The Quesalupa was deemed enough of a cultural phenomena to warrant a guest review. This weeks reviewer is Molly Murn, whose breakfast sandwich credentials include being willing to eat a breakfast Quesalupa and promising to write about it. That was really all I needed to know in order to line up this review. Also, I think she writes funny things.

Dig if you will this picture, of you and I engaged in eating a Taco Bell Quesalupa!  Disclaimer: reading this is sort of like reading a "reply-all" e-mail when you're not the intended recipient. You're welcome.

OK, I'm not quite Prince and this is not quite as compelling, but I do implore you to at least try this special, once, before it's gone.  I realize I'm not in marketing and I'm not going to get anything out of promoting this breakfast taco, other than 100 percent of your respect.  Respect aside, here is my guest review of the Quesalupa.

It's not a fourth meal unless you've been up all night, or if you work fourth shift, but I digress.
Based off the queso and crunchy deep fried el gringo flour casing, this b-fast taco get's 8 out of 10 smiley face emoji's. In translation - I would eat this again, even if it made my stomach hurt.  If you're not the type to risk it all, you'd probably put it n the 5 out of 10 smiley face emoji's range. To be fair, my stomach is accustomed to this sort of debauchery.  

If you're still reading this - let's cover the important deets: The 'lupa comes with queso, meats, cheese, lettuce, tomato and sour cream, I added bacon.  OBVIOUSLY.  If you want actual facts you have to read Patrick's review.  I'm not a fact based reviewer.  I like concepts, ideas and misjudgments.  Speaking of opinions - he's right, in the fact that it's super salty, just like you after I steal yo man.  Wait... no.  Anyways, it's super salty but I kind of like taking in more than 500 times the daily nutritional recommendation of sodium.  If you see me passed out at my desk I can assure you this is one of many valid reasons why.  

Personally I would trade this Quesalupa in if they brought back the chili cheese burrito, but I'm not sure who you have to sleep with to accomplish such a momentous task.  I would, if paid, eat at least 10 of these at a Quesalupa eating competition.  Now that I think of it, someone should create a breakfast sandwich and breakfast taco eating competition.  YOU BE THE JUDGE! 

In summary, I would suggest you try this taco (read only this sentence out-loud to your nearest co-worker, friend or significant other RIGHT NOW.)  

Keep their heads (and breakfast taco's) ringin'! Ring Ding Dong.. Ring a Ding Ding Dong.


No comments:

Post a Comment