Breakfast (Not) Sandwich #35 - Bradbury's aka What In The Hell Is This Crepe?

Sandwich: Sausage + Kale + Sungold tomatoes + Corn + Muenster + a Fried Egg
Location: Bradbury's Coffee
Date: August 29, 2015
Cost: $8

A crepe is not a sandwich. There is no way to stretch the definition to pretend that a crepe is a sandwich. Over the past several weeks many have asked me what counts as a breakfast sandwich. Does a breakfast taco count? Yes, but I don't know if I'll get around to reviewing any. It occurred to me while I was writing this that some communities, such as Austin, Texas, probably have enough taco places that one could write a blog about tacos only. Sure enough, this Taco Journalism link looks pretty bad-ass, and Corpus Christie apparently has enough taco joints to spawn the Tacotopia blog. Check out that sweet Tacotopia logo. Finally, there is The Taco Trail, which also looks amazing. I don't have time right now to really check those blogs out, but I like what I've seen so far.

If a breakfast taco counts I suppose that means a breakfast burrito counts, but I'm not inclined to review one. It feels like one more step away from a "sandwich" because burritos are not usually eaten with your hands. Crepes aren't either. Side note - the A.M. Crunchwrap can be eaten with your hands.

I don't care, my publisher said I could review a crepe so I'm counting this towards the goal of 52 sandwiches. On a few occasions I've passed over more enticing menu items in order to stay focused on my research and this week I decided to go to one of my favorite breakfast spots, SANDWICHES BE DAMNED!

Bradbury's has been open since 2008 and it's been a favorite breakfast spot of mine for much of that time. Early on weekend mornings the vibe there is very quiet and relaxed. This day they had Fleetwood Mac playing which transitioned into ELO before my crepe arrived.

The menu changes depending on what's in season but I think the general rule is to have sweet and savory options on the menu at any given time. Currently, the menu features three items (and this description will have to do as I didn't take a photo of the menu board).

Ham + Smoked Gouda + Cracked Egg + Whole Grain Mustard
Sausage + Kale + Sungold tomatoes + Corn + Muenster + a Fried Egg
Heirloom Tomatoes + House Made Ricotta + Dill + Scrambled Eggs

Enticing equations.

Worthy of being painted on a chapel ceiling.

The (Non) Sandwich - Sausage + Kale + Sungold tomatoes + Corn + Muenster + a Fried Egg. I probably would have been happy with any of the options but the sausage sounded the most breakfasty of the choices and I've been into kale lately. Muenster and I go way back and corn sealed the deal. It's late August in Wisconsin, corn is always a good idea this time of year. Also, sungold tomatoes, another lock in late summer. The salty sausage mixed with the bitter kale and the crunchy, sweet corn, oooooh baby, that's tasty! All that is left to talk about are the chicken egg and the crepe-cake. Knowing the egg was fried was another bonus as I correctly surmised that it would be over easy or runny in some capacity. Bingo. I don't have anything smart to say about crepe pancakes (collective response - "No shit"), but it held everything together which is to say it did its job.

I'm not sure there is any value in my going on and on about how delicious this was, but it was excellent. All the pieces came together to create something more than the sum of their parts, and that's really saying something.

Still, it wasn't a sandwich.

The Result - 4.90 Blasphemies out of 5 Blasphemies. It's not a sandwich, it can't possibly score a 5.00. Not on my watch. Essentially this was docked .10  points because I couldn't pick it up and eat it with my hands. Under certain circumstances I probably would eat one of these with my hands.

This whole thing is about the sandwich and the experience. Are you in the correct place to receive the sandwich? Have you had a "Come To Cheesus" moment with your sandwich? This was one of those days. I found what I wanted at the Farmer's Market in less than 10 minutes and went straight down the hill to Bradbury's for (non) sandwich enlightenment. By 8:00 am my day was a complete success. 

The Kenyan pour over coffee was also amazing.

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Isthmus Annual Manual - Favorite Breakfast Sandwiches

The Isthmus Annual Manual is out and this year readers were able to vote for their favorite breakfast sandwich. I'm not sure if that was an option in the past, it seems the new ownership changed up the categories, but I've not paid close attention so perhaps this was always an entry. I'm not going to look it up because I don't care all that much.

Since the top three sandwiches are all places I have reviewed I thought I'd do a little comparison.

Annual Manual Rankings
1. Marigold Kitchen's Breakfast Sandwich
2. Short Stack Eatery's B'Wich
3. 4 & 20 Bakery & Cafe's #1

52 Sandwiches Ranking (Score)
1. 4 & 20 Bakery & Cafe (4.50)
2. Short Stack Eatery (4.44)
3. Marigold Kitchen (4.03)

All fine sandwiches, to be sure, but I had them ranked in reverse order compared to Isthmus readers. Click on the restaurant name for the full review if you want to know how they scored the way they did. To be clear, these are not my top three sandwiches overall, I'm only listing them in comparison to the Annual Manual rankings.

It's also worth noting that the World's Greatest Sandwich from Mickey's won first place in the "Sandwich" category. It has a chicken egg on it and could be classified as a breakfast sandwich but I have not yet reviewed it. It's on the list.

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Breakfast Sandwich #34 - Stalzy's Deli aka Unleash The Beastie

Sandwich: The Brooklyn Breakfast
Location: Stalzy's Deli
Date: August 22, 2015
Cost: $8

I've been to Stalzy's Deli for their annual Oktoberfest party and I've had their rueben, but I'd never actually been inside the building until Saturday morning. It was a the perfect morning for a bike ride but I wanted to avoid the Farmer's Market crowd so anywhere near the Capital was off the agenda. Stalzy's has been on the list since the beginning and The Brooklyn came with a recommendation. Decision made.

I didn't know what The Brooklyn was until I saw the menu but I knew it was my kind of sandwich right away. Swiss cheese and rye bread, always good.

This is the second week in a row that I've linked to a Beastie Boys video and I'm not even that big of a fan. I did notice that in that link to the photo of the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers, Sandy Koufax (3rd from left in middle row) looks kind of like Ad Rock from The Beastie Boys. Roy Campanella (front row, far right) looks less than amused about posing for a team photo. But my favorite guy in the photo is the Custodian (far left, middle row) - he looks like he probably walked around the clubhouse smoking cigars and yelling at players to pick up their socks.

The classic Breakfast Sandwich would probably be great for comparison but I had to try The Brooklyn.

Screaming of potential.

At the halfway point it still looks rather enticing.

The Sandwich - The Brooklyn Breakfast - pastrami, swiss, fried egg, brown mustard on rye bread. This is a beautiful sandwich and a refreshing change from the standard breakfast sandwich. As much as I love the classic it's always a good idea to veer from the path every now and again if for no other reason than to adjust the palate of expectation.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the fried egg was served somewhat runny. I was overdue for a runny egg. I'm not keeping track but it feels like its been about 5 sandwiches since I've had a gooey egg and that is borderline unacceptable.

You can see from the photo that when this sandwich comes out of the kitchen it's a beautiful beast. A nice pile of meat, gooey egg, toasty rye bread. Hell yes. Initial bites confirmed that the crunchy rye bread, egg, etc., they all blend together wonderfully. I would have liked more cheese but I say that a lot. I like to see that cheese creeping out from the under the bread. Here's my hangup with this sandwich - I find Stalzy's meat to be too salty and this sandwich is no exception. I had tried their rueben on previous occasions and I felt that way then as well. I have shared this opinion with friends and they don't agree so I guess it's just me. So be it ("ita fiat, esto", in Latin, if Google Translate is to be believed).

The Result - I give it a solid 3.99 No More Beastie Boy Video Links out of 5 No More Beastie Boy Video Links. This is a great sandwich but the pastrami is the integral part and it's too salty for my palate. If it were less salty and had a bit more Swiss cheese it would probably be in the mid 4's, it's that good. I'd like more breakfast sandwiches to be served on rye bread. I may make it back to try the classic breakfast sandwich at some point.

I'm starting to wonder if a sandwich can hit a perfect 5. I may have chewed myself into a corner with my other ratings and at this point a 5 rating is going to be rather controversial.

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Breakfast Sandwich #33 - Madison Sourdough Co. aka WWJD (What Would Jerry [Lewis] Do?)

Sandwich: Breakfast Sandwich w/Bacon
Location: Madison Sourdough Co.
Date: August 13, 2015
Cost: $11 with side salad. Sandwich is $8 with side salad if you don't get the ham or bacon.

I feel like Madison Sourdough has been around forever but I still think of their current Williamson Street location as their "new" place although they've probably been there for 10 years. They used to have a different location, I think, but I can't remember where it was and I'm too lazy to research it right now. I have been to Madison Sourdough in the past but never for a sandwich. There's no reason for that, it's just that way. At any rate, they have been on the breakfast sandwich list for some time and it was a perfect morning to bike over there to see what they can do.

For once my photos looks decent. They have a lot of natural light in there, that must be why.

This is where my sandwich takes a little turn on the catwalk.

If I had cleaned up those crumbs this would have been another good photo. And if that shadow wasn't covering the cut side. Alright, never mind, I'm looking for cheese in this one and I'm not really seeing it but look at those flaky scales on the croissant!

The Sandwich - toasted croissant, egg, aioli, cheddar, and bacon with the other choice being ham (or neither). I didn't hesitate to add the bacon. When this sandwich came out of the kitchen it was a thing of beauty. The croissant was wonderfully flaky and light. I don't know much of anything about French baking but I assume this was right up there in terms of quality. The egg was fluffy and cooked perfectly and folded into the croissant. The aioli blended with everything and I wanted more cheese but that posed a conflict of sorts. If you've read several of these you know I'm looking for a somewhat runny egg and lots of cheese, but the croissant isn't built for that. It would be like giving a St. Bernard a bath with a tissue. As it was this sandwich was already as messy as it could be without becoming something you would have to eat with a fork which would be grounds for revoking its status as a sandwich (not definitionally, but practically speaking). Discussions of integrity and sloppiness aside, I did have one significant complaint about this sandwich and that was that the bacon was a little overdone. It wasn't burnt but it was a step beyond crispy, and I like my bacon crispy. I thought I would try to find a list of terms that breaks down the stages of cooked bacon to see what falls in between "crisp" and "burnt", but instead I found the "Baconcyclopedia", which looks like a fun read. Anyway, the bacon was a little too crisp, crumbly even, and turned into bacon bits when bitten, which sounds redundant but makes sense, I think. Not a terrible problem but worth considering. The side salad was fantastic. Fresh greens with the perfect amount of tangy dressing that had a little lemony zip to it.

The Result - 3.91 "Hey Lady" out of 5 "Hey Lady". I tried to find a clip of Jerry Lewis saying "Hey Lady" and failed, and this rating system is already specious at best. Grammatically speaking, it probably should read "Hey Ladies" but that's a Beastie Boys song and I didn't reference them in the review so that doesn't work. The smart thing to do would be to go back and rewrite this with a Beastie Boys reference but that isn't happening. Who cares? So, anyway, the sandwich was mighty fine but the bacon and cost lowered it's rating. I suspect the bacon isn't always overly crispy and some people probably prefer it that way. The croissant was so damn good I almost feel this should be rated in the low 4 area. I mean, seriously, that croissant made me want to Shake My Rump, it was that good. (Yes, that was a cheap way to get another Beastie song in here, which is YouTubes fault as it's playing in the background.) I feel that my personal preferences also dropped this rating a bit. Not everybody likes a lot of cheese and a goopy chicken egg.

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Breakfast Sandwich #31 & #32 - Pinkus McBride vs. MacTaggart's aka Sandwich Smackdown!

Sandwich: Bacon, Cheddar, Egg with Boar's Head Jalapeño Pepper Sauce on English Muffin
Location: MacTaggart's Market
Date: July 26, 2015
Cost: $4.39

Sandwich: Bacon, Pepper Jack, Egg on English Muffin
Location: Pinkus McBride
Date: July 26, 2015
Cost: $3.99

Neither of these places were on my radar for sandwiches until very recently. They are both convenience-type stores aimed at the people who live and work in the area and can walk there. There isn't a lot of parking near either unless you luck out and find a spot on the street. That explains my ignorance towards their sandwich options and also the reason that I decided to pit them against each other in a Sandwich Smackdown.

Pinkus McBride and MacTaggart's Market are fairly close to each other and since it was a beautiful July morning I decided to bike to both so I could double down on a sandwich review. MacTaggart's is just off Langdon Street, tucked in among the fraternities and sororities of the UW. It would probably be a great place for a part time job while you're working on getting your pledge pin. Pinkus is a little more accessible, it's on East Johnson Street near James Madison Park. It is not known if James Madison or his Vice President, the not-very-funky-looking George Clinton, ever shopped there. It's entirely possible that the funky George Clinton has shopped there.

It probably isn't fair to call this comparison a Smackdown since the participants didn't know they were going into the ring. Still, it makes for a better story. Really, it's all about the story here, which is why I'd like to get Donald Trump to do a ride along sandwich review. I'm not sure how he feels about breakfast sandwiches but apparently meatloaf sandwiches are his favorite.

I was going to try to get the exact same sandwich at each location but I didn't know what options would be available and then decided it didn't matter. In the end, the two I ended up getting were very similar.

Lots of options on the MacTaggart's menu. I almost went for the Fiery Chipotle Gourmaise.

The Pinkus menu.

I call this piece Still Life With Sandwiches.

Pinkus on the left, MacTaggart's on the right.

Pinkus, still on the left. MacTaggart's, still on the right.

The Sandwich (#31, MacTaggart's) - Bacon, Cheddar, Egg with Boar's Head Jalapeño Pepper Sauce on English Muffin. The menu to custom build your own sandwich is impressive. I wanted to keep it basic/classic style so I would be able to match it at Pinkus, but I had to get the Jalapeño Sauce. I like a little hot sauce on my breakfast sandwich and it's rarely an option.

The Sandwich (#32, Pinkus McBride) - Bacon, Pepper Jack, Egg on English Muffin. The whiteboard menu at Pinkus isn't as impressive as the MacTaggart's checklist, but they do offer more than your standard options, such as "veggies". They seem like a relaxed operation, they'll probably put anything on there as long as they have it on hand. Go ahead and order a breakfast sandwich with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on it and see how it goes. I'm guessing you'll get it. 

If this were a blog on ESPN I would break down each of the sandwiches strengths and weaknesses, component by component, to arrive at my final ranking. I'm going to do that in a pathetic attempt to launch a career at ESPN, but, I will only work there if I never have to meet any of the on air talent. Whatever path my ESPN career takes, I will not attend the Holiday Party. I imagine that all of the television and radio hosts congregate in a corner and shout at each other for 3 hours while their spouses get hammered at the open bar. 

English Muffin - They were similar, and both very good, but the MacTaggart's was toasted a little bit more and had a nice light crunch to it. Slight edge to MacTaggart's.

Bacon - I think they were both Boar's Head brand. MacTaggart's definitely was. The deli case at Pinkus was heavy on Boar's Head products so I'm going to assume it was. The bacon on both sandwiches was nicely crisped and distributed adequately, but the MacTaggart's was just a bit crispier and looked leaner. Slight edge to MacTaggart's. 

Cheese - I went with cheddar at MacTaggart's for that extra little bit of cheese bite. At Pinkus I ordered pepper jack to give the sandwich a little heat. Both were melted properly but the Pinkus sandwich had just a bit more more on it. Slight edge to Pinkus.

Egg - Here is the biggest difference. Pinkus egg was fried, MacTaggart's was hard scrambled. I'm not sure that's the right term. It doesn't matter. By now everybody knows I like the chicken egg to be runny, but places that do grab and go sandwiches tend to not make them that way. It's either to save you the mess, or something about eating undercooked eggs. Both eggs were cooked well but neither were my ideal sandwich egg. Push. 

Intangibles - MacTaggart's was empty at 8:30 on Sunday morning and my sandwich was given extra attention - she even put a little sprinkle of black pepper on the egg after placing it on the muffin! The sandwich held up well although it was swung around in a bag while I biked to Pinkus. It was a thing of beauty when I unwrapped it at the park, I wish I had taken a better photo. The Pinkus sandwich was also made fresh although they had a few in the case ready to grab. It was a nice looking sandwich but didn't have the same eyeball appeal that the MacTaggart's did. Edge to MacTaggart's.

The Result (#31, MacTaggart's) - 4.18 pledge pins out of 5 pledge pins. This was a damn fine breakfast sandwich. The jalapeño sauce put it over the top though. It was a perfect complement of heat and flavor. I would have never guessed that you could get something like this out of a basement convenience store. I recommend getting there before the students return. 

The Result (#32, Pinkus McBride) - 3.95 not-funky-Vice-Presidents out of 5 not-funky-Vice-Presidents. This was also a fine sandwich but on this day it didn't measure up to the competition. Pinkus has the advantage of being near James Madison Park, which is an ideal place to eat a sandwich. 

MacTaggart's is the winner of Sandwich Bowl I. This is not a best of 7 series, it's winner take all. There is no trophy.

As soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to apply at ESPN to put together Power Rankings of sausages available at all the Major League ballparks. (They've probably already on that).

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Breakfast Sandwich #30 - Burger King aka You're Livin' In The Past, Man

Sandwich: Bacon, Sausage, Egg & Cheese
Location: Burger King (East Washington Ave.)
Date: July 17, 2015
Cost: $3.79

What is there to say about Burger King? After "Have It Your Way" it's all downhill. To be fair, that commercial set the bar pretty damn high. Right out of the gate it's a gem - a short drum fill to kick it off with a walk-up bass line. For two seconds it sounds like it could be a Carpenters song, and that shirt that Dad is wearing looks like something Richard Carpenter might have worn. The song goes right to the hook and opens with the chorus.

Dad orders "Two Whopper Juniors" and the super pleasant and helpful cashier/backup singer is too nice to correct his grammar. Hell no, she is going to sing! She grabs that mic like a pro and you can tell this isn't the first time she has sung of brined vegetables and leafy greens! Who you calling a backup singer? This girl is frontin' the band, or at least the front counter.

Caught up in the excitement, Mom gets on board the customized burger train and goes a little crazy with a request for extra ketchup. Her face lights up like a Christmas tree when the backup singer tells her she can have it. I'm really happy for her at this point.

The Singer (I wish I knew her name, I'm pretty sure it isn't Darius) busts into the 2nd verse with slightly less enthusiasm than the 1st verse and I think she gets tripped up on the lyrics. It sounds like she sings "We can serve your bro-beef  Whopper..." but I think its supposed to be "whole beef Whopper", or maybe "browned beef  Whopper"? That doesn't make sense to me. It does look like she makes "B" sound with her mouth. Maybe its just the degradation of the recording but I can't really tell what it's supposed to be. Perhaps at the last minute somebody from the BK Legal Department burst onto the set and informed the Director that they couldn't legally say "whole beef Whopper" so he told The Singer (let's call her Chrissy, she looks like a Chrissy) to just mumble her way through it. Of course Chrissy nailed it - with a smile and pop of the eyebrows! Before she is even done with the verse she is handing the family their bags of food. Chrissy's got a good stage crew.

The commercial closes with the actual backup singers hitting the chorus and a fanfare of trumpets. We see each member of the family enjoying their Whoppers. It leaves me feeling pretty good and I'll bet that family had a really nice day too. We are left to chart our own path for Chrissy and her hat and all the great adventures they had together. It seems like there is a good opportunity there for fan fiction or perhaps a graphic novel.

I don't know if you can see that logo on the phone. They changed the "E" in Whopper to be layered sandwich ingredients. Some corporations change E's to sandwich fixings, some change them to American flags.

The menu case is broken and the top portion is flopped down, partially covering Meals #1 and #8. I should have taken it as a sign that things weren't going to end well. 

You can't spell "Sandwich" without S-A-D.

Drier than it looks.

The Sandwich - Bacon, Sausage, Egg & Cheese on a biscuit. Right off the bat I didn't have to make a choice between bacon and sausage, I could have both! I could have it my way! The singer on the other end of the speaker box wasn't actually a singer, she sounded more like an average fast food worker. She was pleasant, but not Chrissy pleasant (who could be, really?). I ordered it on a croissant at first but then changed it to a biscuit. There I go again, having it my way! This is fun. This sandwich isn't listed on the bk.com Nutritional Information chart and that's probably a good thing. Take this info and add bacon and watch the sodium levels soar. Nobody thought this would be healthy anyway. You can see in the photo that the sausage is kind of burnt. It was as dry as it looks. The biscuit was dry and kind of crumbly too. With those two items this sandwich didn't stand a chance. The egg was actually kind of fluffy and not dry but the cheese could have been a little more melted and the amount was scarce. The bacon was non-committal. This was a bad sandwich. If I had had access to a goat I would have given half of this to the animal as a form of research, but instead I ate it. You think this is all fun and games here? It is not.

The Result - 1.974 vintage commercials out of 5 vintage commercials. That awesome Burger King commercial came out in 1974 so that's the rating this sandwich gets, which actually is too high. I couldn't find any BK commercials from 1631 on YouTube so 1.974 will have to do. Something positive I can say about this sandwich is that it didn't taste nearly as salty as I thought it would. You might have noticed on the menu board the "meal" comes with hash browns. It's hard to see but they look like Potato Olés. Don't be fooled, I ordered some and they weren't the same. Mine were just slightly overdone but even if they hadn't been burnt I don't think they would have been very good.

I wonder if Chrissy is still out there singing about vegetables and she has that commercial listed on her resume. I hope so. I really do.

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Breakfast Sandwich #29 - Marigold Kitchen aka This Is Not The Pinckney Street Hideaway

Sandwich: Marigold Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Marigold Kitchen
Date: July 3, 2015
Cost: $8

I used to work near Marigold Kitchen and it was a regular stop for lunch and an occasional place for breakfast. It's been awhile since I've worked in the area and I couldn't remember the last time I had been there, but I knew they had a breakfast sandwich that beckoned for a review.

Marigold sits in the spot where the Pinckney Street Hideaway used to be. There must be some kind of good mojo in that location although if I had my choice I think I'd take the Hideaway, nothing against Marigold.

This is sandwich review #29 and frankly I'm shocked that I've made it this far. Now that we're in the peak of summer I'm finding it hard to sit down to write these, which take far longer than you might think although that is clearly the result of my, ummm, skills. A friend of mine had a baby the other day in less time than it takes me to crank out one of these missives. Side note - Meriter Hospital, where the baby was born, has a build your own breakfast sandwich option, at least for those that are in the birthin' area. I received a photo of the menu, the sandwich and a short review. The sandwich was rated 3.5 placentas out of 5 placentas, with the turkey sausage as the major reason for the low score. I have just under 6 months left of this but I seriously doubt I will be able to top the placenta rating system put forth for that sandwich. It almost makes the rest of this research seem futile.

But, I will continue to chew my way towards the truth. I recently mentioned getting some blood work done and my cholesterol levels check out so I have no excuse to quit now.  Well, other than laziness, and the fact that my boat (The USS Over Easy) doesn't have Wi-Fi. I could be writing these while flitting about in the harbor but I would have to jot it down in a notebook with a pencil. That's just stupid.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu, luckily the info is listed online:

Marigold Breakfast Sandwich - fried egg, cheddar-spiked boursin, bacon, tomato and green onion on toasted ciabatta

That's a mighty fine way to start a holiday weekend.

MOM! THAT SANDWICH IS TAUNTING ME!

Get that sandwich some sunscreen. 

The Sandwich - Marigold Breakfast Sandwich. One choice. I'm coming to really appreciate the single offering although places with multiple sandwiches could potentially get a second visit. Marigold makes great food and this sandwich was no exception. Bacon was nicely crisped, the chicken egg was fried perfectly and in this case a runny egg may have been too messy. There is a lot of the cheddar-spiked boursin and it makes for a borderline sloppy sandwich, but the ciabatta holds it in place. The tomato wasn't sad but it wasn't like the tomatoes we'll be eating soon.

The Result - 4.03 no-we're-not-talking-about-placentas out of 5 no-we're-not-talking-about-placentas. This is a top level sandwich but perhaps just isn't aimed exactly at my tastes. If I were going to tailor this sandwich for my mouth I'd make the egg runny, crank up the amount of cheddar for a extra "bite", use less boursin (which I gather is cream cheese) and perhaps put a dash of hot sauce on it. It's still a damn good sandwich.

I may have a guest reviewer lined up for a ride along soon. An actual writer-person. A wordsmith. These things are hard to coordinate so it may take awhile.

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