Breakfast Sandwich #19 - The Egg & I aka Making Up Stories To Compensate For A Unremarkable Sandwich

Sandwich: Deluxe Egg Sandwich
Location: The Egg & I
Date: April 12, 2015
Cost: $8.99, with grits or ranch potatoes (or a fruit cup that wasn't listed)

I hadn't noticed The Egg & I until I started this blog. It's in that newish office building across from American TV Ashley Furniture on the Beltline. It has all the look of a franchise, and it is, which I learned when adding it to my list of breakfast sandwich destinations. It says they were started in Fort Collins, Colorado and looking at the little map on their site it appears they have about 100 locations but only one in Wisconsin. Their site also says, "From humble roots, it has expanded across the nation based on the simple premise that friendly people serving delicious food matters." I only list that here to say that our waitress was indeed friendly.

Just in case you are wondering about the rest of their menu options but don't actually want to read the menu, they have this information - "We also offer an assortment of non-egg dishes", which sounds like something Smoove B would say.

If I were to make a list of people that I would most enjoy sitting down to have a breakfast sandwich with, Smoove B would be near the top of the list, along with Karen Carpenter, Bullwinkle J. Moose, Fred Biletnikoff and Audrey Horne. That would be a heck of a kaffeeklatsch.

Here is what I imagine each would order:

Smoove B - one egg, over-easy, a thick slice of country ham with red eye gravy and a schmear of Camenbert on thick slices of the finest french bread. He pulls two cloth napkins from his suit pocket, tucks the corner of one under his collar and spreads the second across his lap. After breakfast his suit is spotless and he picks up the check. Nothing but class, this guy.

Karen Carpenter - half an English muffin (dry) with one egg white, scrambled. That's not a sandwich, Karen, you need some cheese and meat on that thing. How about we add a pinch of parmesan cheese with a teaspoon of canned tuna (packed in water) on it? Fine. It still sounds kind of terrible. She doesn't even eat the whole thing.

Bullwinkle J. Moose - I'm not sure herbivores know anything about sandwiches but I think he'd start with a multi-grain bagel, arugula, one egg, over-hard, minced tall grasses and a heaping of snozberries. He eats the entire sandwich in one bite.

Fred Biletnikoff - he seems like a sausage kind of a guy. Sausage with two eggs over hard on rye toast and the whole thing covered with nacho cheese sauce to make your hands feel like stickum while you eat it. He doesn't use any napkins.

Audrey Horne - English muffin spritzed with black coffee, one egg, poached, cream cheese with a small slice of cherry pie smashed on top. Served open face. She eats it with a fork and knife.

That * means you can order the egg how you like, which I appreciate.

Ham folds.

I like those deli sandwich toothpicks.

The Sandwich - I ordered Deluxe Egg Sandwich with the egg over medium and it came with the proper amount of runny consistency. The first half of the sandwich went down quickly but I was pretty hungry by the time we got there. After the palette cleansing fruit cup (not listed on the menu, but offered by the waitress) something took a turn. I wasn't into the ham all that much. I wasn't really tasting the Harvarti dill cheese or the bacon either. I'm starting to think bacon needs to stand on its own on a breakfast sandwich or it gets lost among the other meats. I don't think of it as a subtle meat, but my view is changing on that. The sourdough bread was good and kept everybody in line. I'm not quite sure why this didn't hit home like it probably should have. I guess I'm not much of a ham guy. I really like great ham but mediocre ham just doesn't cut it and thats how I was feeling about this ham. The tomato slice was predictably sad. By the time I finished the sandwich a feeling of mediocrity had settled into my belly.

The Result - 3 shrugs out of 5 shrugs. Probably would have rated a little higher if it was $6 but nothing about this sandwich really stood up and made me take notice. I suspect by the end of April I'll have no recollection of this sandwich whatsoever.

Did I say the service was prompt and delightful and my dining companion's huevos rancheros or whatever it was tasted pretty dame good? It's true. That Green Chili Chicken Hash on the menu sounds good too.

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