Breakfast Sandwich(es) #108A & 108B - Tales Of Leftover Ham

Sandwich(es): Ham, Cheese(s), Spinach
Date: 12/30/17

Woe to be a reader longing for tales of sandwiches at local eating huts while I speak of lab sandwiches yet again.

I already knew this would happen and said as much in review #107. Any self respecting sandwich artiste with leftover Honeybaked Ham would have done the same and I will not apologize. As if the leftover ham were not enough I found myself sitting next to a Thomas' English Muffin truck while waiting at a stoplight and took that as a clear sign that I needed Nooks & Crannies in my life. Astute readers will note that recent experiments have been built upon Bays English Muffins but the lab is about R&D and you can't ignore clear signs such as seeing a semi truck trailer with a giant photo of a muffin on it. These things don't just happen by accident. (Well, honestly, I drive past a large industrial baking facility several times a week so seeing a muffin truck isn't particularly novel and yet it still excites me.)

There were already chicken eggs in the fridge so the only decisions to make were types of cheese, style of egg, and accoutrements. Those variables are important in sandwich experimentation and cannot be taken lightly and therefore it was clear that two cheeses were needed for two separate sandwiches. Have ham, will sandwich.

108A - Sharp Cheddar Cheese

108B - Muenster

108B on left, 108A on right. Leftover hash browns in foreground. Cheap-ass rice cooker in background.

The Sandwich(es) - The variables were muenster and sharp cheddar cheese. Baby swiss just barely missed the cut. Sorry Baby, we'll get you next time. You can see that the eggs were not done in the typical fashion - no puck-cooking, no runny yolks. These were scrambled with spinach. There may be a different name for scrambling in this fashion but they came out somewhat like a frittata. I don't know what the difference is, if any. (A dash of quick research reveals that adding the spinach before cooking makes it a frittata, at least that is my understanding and I don't care to delve into it much further at this time.) These were simple sandwiches. A liberal dash of Cholula green pepper sauce was the only other ingredient.

The Result(s) - I liked the change up in egg preparation. It held together firmly and yet didn't need any additional viscosity and I didn't even miss the runny yolk, which is saying something. The cheeses were melted perfectly and I don't need to tell you about Honeybaked Ham, do I? I hope not. Adding the spinach gave these a healthy angle that has been missing from the lab recently. I don't think the Nooks & Crannies changed anything but I was already a fan of both Bays and Thomas' and will not play favorites unless one of them decides to start sponsoring this blog. Just kidding, I have fucking integrity, which is why they both should sponsor this blog. Speaking of sponsorships, maybe I need to get some new hot sauce, I don't see any of those sweet Cholula pesos rolling in and I've been talking about that stuff for well over a year. My marketing team sucks. 

Overall, I gave the edge to the sharp cheddar sandwich, the cheddary bite went well with the ham but the muenster had a nice creamy quality to it. Personal preference plays a key roll here. I'm not going to ramble on about these sandwiches - they were both mighty fine and the end result is that you should get yourself some quality ham and make a breakfast sandwich, or two. 

This isn't a cooking blog. What is this, a lifestyle blog? I think it might be. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #107 - Mac 'n Cheese 'n Bacon 'n Red Onion 'n More Cheese 'n Chicken Egg

Sandwich: Homemade Mac 'n Cheese, Bacon, Red Onion, Extra Cheese
Date: 12/23/2017

The Sandwich Sciences don't take a break for Christmas weekend particularly when there is leftover mac 'n cheese in the fridge that you know needs to be tested in the lab.

And so I was back in the lab massaging flavors and taking notes even though the vast majority of you would prefer I go to Sally Jo's Pancake Emporium and review her Grit's 'n Griddle Grinder breakfast sandwich. If that restaurant and sandwich existed I too would be excited to eat and review it. Sadly, it does not.

Let's get right to this. I had leftover mac 'n cheese. I had eggs. I had bacon. I had English Muffins. I had to do it. There was no way not to to do it.

Just a bit askew but packed with jaunty flavors.

This is a lousy angle but you can see the layers and that little pool of yolk back there.

The Sandwich - You already know everything that is on this sandwich. The key was having leftover mac 'n cheese. (That isn't the recipe I used but it's close and you know Southern Living doesn't fuck around when it comes to things like mac 'n cheese.) For this batch I used provolone and a medium sharp cheddar but it wasn't particularly creamy so I added thin slices of sharp cheddar to the sandwich which also functioned to hold the onion slices in place. A slice of American cheese would have been perfect but it wasn't happening. I toasted the English Muffin with the mac 'n cheese on one half and red onion, bacon and the sharp cheddar on the other half. The chicken egg was puck-cooked (Is that a term? It is now.) with a Mason jar lid which is really the best way to have an egg on a English Muffin. I have to say this egg turned out perfect. The only thing left to mention is that I added a liberal dose of green Cholula hot sauce which mingles well with eggs and red onion.

The Result - I don't rate the products of the laboratory but this sandwich was a super tasty humdinger and it's probably worth your time to make some mac 'n cheese just so you can make one of these the next day. The pasta was a bonus texture and since the mac 'n cheese was somewhat mild the salty bacon and red onion didn't push it too far. I was glad I added the sharp cheddar just for a little extra bite and the green hot sauce was not too much either. This sandwich was a champ and if I had been served it in the restaurant it'd be a strong contender for best of the year. (I think? I'm just throwing that out there without looking back at the year. That will happen soon though.) I thought I might need a fork to get it all but it held together despite being used to mop up yolk and the few bits of macaroni that escaped were easily plucked up with fingers. If you do make one of these remember that it's not a low calorie breakfast so maybe wait for a day when you're going to have to go out and shovel some snow or tear down a barn or wrassle gators or something. You can't eat this and then just go do spreadsheet things.

This continues to not be a cooking blog, but you know what? There is a lot of Honeybaked Ham in my life right now and I still have some eggs so I'm going to have to find a fresh experiment that uses ham. Maybe a ham and baked beans sandwich? I will state this right here, right now - I will review one more sandwich from a local establishment before I do my end of year wrap up. It might be the McDonalds on Verona Road but I will have one more sandwich at a restaurant before we close out this year. I feel like I owe you people.

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Breakfast Sandwich #106 - I'm Like A Lab Rat For Sandwiches

Sandwich: Summer Sausage, Medium Cheddar, Red Onion, Chicken Egg, Chipotle Cholula Sauce, English Muffin.
Date: 12/2/2017

I had no intention of going back into the lab so soon after the Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich Extravaganza of last week. Honestly, I didn't have any experimental sandwich combos gnawing away at my psyche that I needed to try. However, at some point during the late morning I was feeling a bit peckish and started poking pecking around in the fridge to see what I could gnaw on and the only viable option was a breakfast sandwich.

There were a few options for meat - summer sausage, hard salami and bacon. In the name of experimentation I dismissed the bacon. I had a quick taste test between the hard salami and the summer sausage and made my choice. You may recall that way back in December of 2015 (The Year of the Breakfast Sandwich TM) I had a delicious summer sausage sandwich at Graze. That's the last time I had a summer sausage breakfast sandwich as Graze appears to be the only place that offers one. It's that or you make your own, I guess. 

The rest of the sandwich ingredients were almost a given - the cheddar was my best cheese option and the English Muffin was a better choice than my bread. I only had egg of chicken as I have not secured an alternative egg source. 

The red onion was a bit of a curveball. Red onion really brings a lot to the party when you're constructing a sandwich. It blends well with many meats and cheeses and seems to pull more flavor out of it's sandwich neighbors. It has to be used sparingly though as it can take over and get a bit obnoxious. A few thinly sliced pieces are often all that is needed. You have to know your limits. I've probably said all of this before.

I've been using the Cholula Green Pepper sauce on eggs a lot lately but thought the smokiness of the Chipotle would compliment the sausage. (Narrators voice: It did). 

All the pieces fell into place.

OK, I went a bit long on the egg.

The Result - Well, hell, this sandwich was swell. It really was excellent and a pleasant change from the normal breakfast sandwich offerings. The onion, cheddar, chipotle hot sauce and sausage blended and danced together well. There were a couple of things that I could have improved on. The egg was cooked a bit too long but life comes at you fast in the frying pan and that's the way it goes sometimes. The English Muffin wasn't toasted as much as I would have liked as a result of putting the tray in the toaster oven to catch dripping cheese. It turns out the cheese didn't drip much and I would have been better off without the tray. Also, a little more cheese would have been ideal. Overall this was a winner and I recommend you make one for yourself, pronto.

This is still not a cooking blog.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNtefWOnWWk

Breakfast Sandwich #105 - Research In The Leftovers Lab

About a week ago I realized I would soon have plenty of Thanksgiving leftovers and that I should fashion a breakfast sandwich out of them. I thought if I could get my hands on a turkey egg that would be the final piece to a perfect Thanksgiving leftover breakfast sandwich. It was a good thought, but I had no idea where to get a turkey egg. I did email a local organic farm that raises turkeys but they weren't interested in playing my game. They're probably a bunch of damn hippies anyway.

If I had started my quest for turkey egg earlier, and contacted more than one farm, I probably could have gotten my hands on one. I'm not sure it would have been worth the effort but it really would have been a nice touch on this sandwich.

The only bread I had in house was Bay's Muti-Grain English Muffins. (Did you know that Bay's claim that the original Egg McMuffin was served on a Bay's English Muffin?) No problem there, that is the perfect base for a breakfast sandwich although it does inform the rest of the decisions in constructing the sandwich. You can't overload an English Muffin and you have to plan for a more vertical sandwich as you have a limited footprint.

Other than the English Muffin, here is a list of what I was working with:

Turkey meat - both white and dark meat
Sausage and Walnut Dressing
Gravy
Chicken Eggs
Cranberries
1 piece of American cheese

As much as I wanted to include mashed potatoes on this sandwich I had eaten them all the night before. It would have been too much for the English Muffin anyway. I eliminated the cranberries figuring things would get too sloppy. I had other cheeses but had already decided to use the last piece of American cheese.

I prefer dark meat but went with the white meat for this sandwich simply because I could take one slice that was a little larger than the muffin and it would be solid for construction. I took that and a scoop of dressing and wrapped them in foil to heat in the toaster oven. When they were hot pulled them out of the toaster and "buttered" the muffin halves with gravy, and popped them into the toaster. While those toasted I cooked the chicken egg in a Mason jar lid so I'd have a nice egg puck to match the shape of the English Muffin. A turkey egg probably would have been too large for a jar lid but I would have found a way to make it work and I haven't come to peace with the idea that I should have gotten a turkey egg and I'll probably stew on it for a whole year but NEXT YEAR I will start inquiring earlier.

Construction - Thick muffin side for the base, turkey, dressing, slice of American cheese, egg, muffin top.

Fear not! The cheese melted more, this was taken immediately after construction.

Slicing the sandwich was a little rough but you can see that the cheese melted and the egg was perfectly runny. At this point I realized that leaving the cranberries off was a good choice. It would have been too messy. 

The Result - This was so tasty I wanted to punch a Pilgrim in the face. I don't rate my Lab Research Sandwiches but this was fantastic and you should make one right now if you still have leftovers. I'd like to try one with mashed potatoes but that will have to wait. 

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(Not Really A) Breakfast Sandwich #104 - Stella Blu Cafe aka You Look Sexy In That Wrap Around Porch

Sandwich: Spicy Italian Sausage Panini
Location: Stella Blu Cafe
Date: November 18, 2017
Cost: $12.50 includes brunch potatoes, two eggs and mixed greens

I was predisposed to like the Stella Blu Cafe. First, it's in this funky little flat-roofed building with a wrap around porch that's tucked into a residential area. I've had my eye on this building for many years, it's the kind of building I would buy if I were the kind of guy who bought buildings. I'll admit it, I have had a crush on this building for about two decades. Second, I don't know where they got their name but I assume it's from the Grateful Dead song, which coincidentally is a favorite of mine. As it happened, when I walked into the cafe they were playing Grateful Dead in the open kitchen area so I guess that kind of confirms my suspicion on the name. The Dead transitioned into Lou Reed after a few songs but I was OK with that choice as well.

None of that has anything to do with sandwiches.

The brunch menu offers four panini sandwiches and when I first looked at the menu online I knew I would get the sausage version:

Spicy Italian Sausage, peperonata, provolone, pesto, garlic aioli

A bountiful array of flavor.

The Sandwich - The menu offers adding two eggs any style for $2.50. I wrongly assumed they meant that they add them to the sandwich. No, they put them on the side. In retrospect it makes sense - putting eggs onto the panini might get kind of sloppy with egg spilling out all over the place. Ultimately this wasn't really a breakfast sandwich but here we are so let's talk about it anyway. The house made focaccia was fantastic and grilled up perfectly with a crusty outside and buttery inside. The sausage link was spicy, but not overly so, and blended wonderfully with the grilled peppers. Provolone is a good cheese for this sandwich, mild, and not too messy when it melts. The pesto is what really brings this sandwich together. It compliments everything and adds a touch of zip. The chicken eggs were cooked over medium so they still had a runny yolk but they were not on the sandwich. I briefly considered trying to put them on the sandwich but I figured that would turn into an absolute mess. A brief mention of the other sides - often you are given the choice of greens or potatoes but having both was a nice option. Fresh greens with a tangy dressing and crispy potatoes should be paired up more often.

The Result - 4.61 Secret Building Crushes out of 5 Secret Building Crushes. The sandwich was fantastic but I'm really rating the entire plate here and I swear I'm not adding points for the building. But seriously, this was a fantastic meal and carried me through until dinner later that night. It literally became breakfast and lunch which I guess it's why they call it brunch. Go take a look at that building and tell me if it isn't just the cutest thing.

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Breakfast Sandwich #103 - Norske Nook aka Open Your Pie Hole

Sandwich: Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap
Location: Norske Nook (Deforest)
Date: October 25, 2017
Cost: I forgot to look. I guess I can't complain about the cost.

If you're talking about Norske Nook you're talking about pie and that's the way it should be. It turns out they have a full menu although that menu does not contain a breakfast sandwich. Maybe that's not how the Norwegians roll. Ingen frokost sandwich. They do have something called the Lefse-dilla which is probably exactly what we think it is but I didn't order it or actually see one.

An omelete lefse wrap is in no way a sandwich. I'm not even sure it's a thing - I think Norske Nook is just making shit up (see "lefse-dilla" if you doubt that)! Nobody is claiming it's a sandwich. That's OK, we're at sandwich #103 and at this point the rules were made to be broken. There have already been reviews of crepes and open-faced sandwiches. Maybe I'll review a breakfast hot dog soon and that sure as heck is not a sandwich.

Nobody cares. We should talking about pie.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu but I can tell you that my omelete lefse wrap included scrambled egg, hash browns, sausage, cheese and was topped with hollandaise sauce.

This is not a sandwich or a piece of pie and I'm not sure why we're even looking at it. Do you like your pie al a mode or a la hollandaise? That's just gross. 

The Sandwich - Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap. Right off the bat I'm going to admit to not being a big fan of hollandaise. I have only had one previous sandwich with hollandaise and that was almost exactly two years ago to this date. That's the last time I had hollandaise sauce. Maybe it's better in its natural habitat as part of eggs benedict. It should probably be confined to that usage, a guy like me doesn't need to see it all over the place. I'm biased. Maybe you feel otherwise. Anyway, what about this non-sandwich wrap? I would have liked the hash browns crispier and the chicken eggs were scrambled which makes sense for this wrap but isn't how I like them. The sausage was unassuming which isn't what I'm looking for in a cased meat product. Then there is the hollandaise, which struck me as an afterthought but does add some needed viscosity to the whole affair. Without it I may have been tempted to do something dumb like put ketchup on this which doesn't really make sense but brings us back around full circle to the thought of "does this lefse wrap make sense?"

The Result - 3 Pie Holes out of 5 Pie Holes. I haven't even mentioned the pie yet which is really what I should have been talking about the entire time. Wait. This wrap was fine. It was just OK. It was not greater than the sum of its parts in fact it may have been lesser than the sum of its parts. I'm sounding harsher than I mean to. It does seem a bit unfair to be overly critical of a non-sandwich on a sandwich blog, and I honestly don't mean to be. This wrap lacked personality. Not even the jaunty hollandaise sauce could put a twinkle in it's eye but ultimately it was fine. 

The Pie - They aren't messin' around when comes to pie at Norske Nook. The placemat (photo not available) is the entire list of pies that might be available including "retired" pies. The retired pies are apparently not really retired but are not as available as they used to be. I think they're consultants at this point. Then there are all the other pies - cream pies, fruit pies, mixtures of cream and fruit and so forth. It's confusing and overwhelming. Some pies are seasonal. It's like some kind of game show. You just have to ask what they have that day and invariably your first choice is not available. I was prepared for this and it's exactly what happened. My second choice was also not available. I think it might be some kind of social experiment - no matter what you order they say they don't have it. In reality there is some pie-obsessed madman in back who has baked every damn kind of pie on earth and he just wants to see your reaction when you are denied. Children cry, old people get angry and the pie guy laughs his fool head off. I want his job. 

I ended up ordering a slice of classic blueberry pie (photo not available) and I was fine with that. Here is the best part - when you order your pie they ask "would you like that warm and with ice cream?" This is where the madman redeems himself. Once you get your warm pie with two adorable scoops of ice cream you forgive him for making a mockery of your pie plight. His gales of derision are forgotten with each bite and when your plate is clean you think "he wasn't so crazy after all".

I think I have the makings of a Norwegian style fairy tale going here - "Gal Kake Mann"

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Breakfast Sandwich #102 - Bob Evans aka Rubber Biscuit

Sandwich: Sausage Egg & Cheese
Location: Bob Evans
Date: October 1, 2017
Cost: $2.29

I wasn't even planning on having a breakfast sandwich this day. I was at the grocery store looking for my favorite flatbread but they had rearranged the bakery/bread section so I was jabbing around deep in the back corner of the store. I found the flat bread next to a refrigerated deli case that I generally pay no mind. That's when I saw individually wrapped Bob Evans Breakfast Sandwiches. Sometimes the sandwich finds you.

We don't have Bob Evans restaurants here, the store locator on the web site says there isn't one within 100 miles of me. Because of that, I have never been to a Bob Evans restaurant and I'm OK with that.

It's kind of cute.

I think I microwaved it a little too long The cheese was beyond melty.

That sausage patty looks as grey and gristly as Donald Trumps soul. 

The Sandwich - Sausage, Egg and Cheese. The instructions said microwave for 60 to 75 seconds. I went with 75 as my microwave is old and on the weaker side. That was probably a bit too long, the cheese liquefied, but the sandwich was plenty hot. There isn't much positive I can relate about this sandwich. The sausage tasted OK but the big takeaway was that the whole thing was just too chewy. It actually had a rubbery texture. The entire sandwich. It think each component was rubbery, with the exception of the now liquefied cheese. Rubber Biscuit, indeed. The muffin looks toasted but did not have the texture of toasted bread. I'm not going to waste any more time talking about this. I didn't enjoy it.

The Result - 1.83 Rubber Biscuits out of 5 Rubber Biscuits. I've had worse sandwiches but this one is down there at the bottom. Maybe if it was warmed in a toaster oven it would have taken on a different tone, but that wasn't an option listed for heating it. The only instructions were for microwave.  I can't believe I've made it to sandwich #102 and this is the first time "Rubber Biscuit" popped into my head. It was probably milling around my subconscious waiting for an opportunity and then it sprung at just the right moment. 

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