Thursday, August 30, 2018

Breakfast Sandwich #123 - Not A Sandwich. Not A Sandwich. You're The Sandwich!

Sandwich: Grilled Bacon-Wrapped All Beef Kosher Hot Dog Breakfast Sandwich
Date: August 29, 2018

Sometimes you have to see an idea through to it's natural conclusion just to get it out of your head. That was the case here and it all started when I bought a package of Hebrew National Beef Franks and a carton of eggs on the same day. I looked into my shopping basket and saw them sitting side by side and it occurred to me that they should become intimate with each other, on a bun, and that I was the perfect person to facilitate that.

By the time I executed the plan I had decided to wrap the hot dogs in bacon to make them more breakfasty. The absurdity of wrapping kosher franks in bacon didn't strike me until I was in the act and while there were no rabbi's present I am an ordained minister and I decided that I needed to absolve these franks of their sins. Therefore, I gave them a penance of trial of fire, a temporal punishment of sorts, and sentenced them to purgatory, which in this case was my belly.

And so the lab moved outside for this experiment - at least partly. Never barbecue indoors. It says it right on the bag of Kingsford Charcoal. (Did you know you can review Kingsford briquets on their web site and give them a 1-5 star ranking? "Angelgrillin" gave them one star - "Have to constantly relight. Have to run out multiple times. Keep pering out window". You know how she gets when she has to keep pering out the window? She doesn't like it but she's an angel for Christ's sake so she'll just leave a one star review on the internet and move on.)

Once I decided the dogs were going to be bacon wrapped it really came down to what else was going to be added.
This photo should be on the United States Citizenship test - "Write a 3 paragraph story or poem describing how this makes you feel. 200 word minimum. Attach additional sheets of paper as needed."

The Sandwich - Grilled Bacon-Wrapped All Beef Kosher Hot Dog Breakfast Sandwich. So you've wrapped the dogs in bacon and grilled them. Now what? You have to have cheese and I had slices of American cheese which seemed perfect for this project. Grated sharp cheddar would have worked as well. I should have toasted the buns a bit but I got caught up in making sure I had time to cook the chicken eggs before the dogs got cold.

Speaking of eggs, there is no way these would have worked with a runny yolk. Of course not. Hilarious? Probably. I opted for the practicality of scrambled eggs. When I started contemplating toppings I considered chopped onions but I thought that might get overpowering. Relish? Hell no. I was leaning towards simplicity but had to consider condiments. Mustard didn't seem right with eggs and ketchup struck me as even more preposterous if not downright blasphemous. Hot sauce was the only choice and I selected a homemade blend given to me by a friend. 
I admit that just looks like a stupid mess. 
The Result - Mistakes were made but this was a success never the less. Even if its a sandwich I never revisit these were some mighty tasty dogs. Honestly, the eggs kind of got in the way and tried to fall out with every bite. I also overcooked them a bit - I like my scrambled eggs on the soft side but I went too far. The buns should have been toasted and I thought maybe if the dogs nestled into the buns straight off the grill they would melt the cheese a bit but that didn't happen. None of this detracted from the smokey deliciousness that popped from every bite but I knew I could have done better. It's not easy being a visionary. You think Alexander Graham Bell just woke up one morning and built a HD television? That's not how it works.

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