Breakfast Sandwich #24 - Underground Butcher aka Swine Is Fine

Sandwich: Ham, Cheddar and Egg
Location: Underground Butcher
Date: May 24, 2015
Cost: $6

I didn't know Underground Butcher had sandwiches until just a few weeks ago, much less breakfast sandwiches. The breakfast sandwiches are only available on Saturday and Sunday but the regular sandwiches are on the menu all week long.

Their breakfast sandwiches are so elusive and rare they aren't even listed on the web site, you just have to know about them, I guess. Luckily for me, people are now always talking to me about breakfast sandwiches, even in weird places like hospital emergency rooms, churches and mosques, and public restrooms. Just the other day I was getting my teeth cleaned and the dental hygienist said, "So, who has the best breakfast sandwich?" to which I replied "whadayaradafuyyahblag?" which translates to "Why don't you read the fucking blog?" I didn't think she would understand me but I might have known better cause she shot me an annoyed look, put down her stabby-mouth toys, and left the room. She came back 25 minutes later and said "I think you were a little harsh on Cracker Barrel", and then proceeded to treat my gums like they were the epicenter of the tartar buildup revolution.

The point is that I heard about Underground Butcher breakfast sandwiches and a plan was hatched to meet a friend there to try one, and that's exactly what happened.

I forgot to take a picture of the chalkboard menu and since the breakfast sandwiches aren't listed on the web site I don't have a reliable way to convey the information to you other than my memory, which is not reliable. They have two sandwiches: Ham, Cheddar and Egg, or, Cheddar and Egg. Both are served on what I believe is a house-made biscuit. The sandwich without ham is $5, maybe. It's possible that they change up the breakfast sandwiches and offer different options from time to time, but I don't know. Like I said, their breakfast sandwiches are rare and elusive, even more rare than a bar on the east side of Madison without PBR Tall Boys. 

Holy smokes, she's a real HUMDINGER!

Do you realize what's happening here? Look at all that cheesy, eggy goo, and yet it is maintaining structural integrity. This sandwich is defying the laws of physics!

The Sandwich - Ham, Cheddar and Egg. At most places I would shy away from ham, expecting the sad, sweaty, deli variety, unceremoniously flopped between an egg and some bread. Not here, of course. They aren't playing around with the meat products at Underground. Besides, there was no option for bacon or whatever, but that's fine. The ham was a nice slice of salty, mildly fatty, goodness and the cheddar was properly melted. I think the egg was done over easy and it was wonderful. They offered hot sauce when the order was placed and I accepted. Not sure what type they used but it provided just a shade of heat that worked well with the rest of it.

The Result - 4.69 PBR Tall Boys out of 5 PBR Tall Boys. Simplicity has its place in the breakfast sandwich world and you could argue that the classic meat-egg-cheese is the cornerstone of the genre. There is certainly a place for greens and chive such-and-such, but if simple is done well it's really all you need. This was, simply, a great breakfast sandwich. It was tasty, sloppy and a great antidote for a rainy morning. I don't really have any complaints or suggestions as to what would make it better. These are answers we are all searching for, I believe.

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Breakfast Sandwich #23 - DLUX aka The Pig Came First

Sandwich: Spicy Sausage
Location: DLUX
Date: May 17, 2015
Cost: $6

DLUX has been on the list for awhile and I was really looking forward to trying the Chicken Fried Chicken Sandwich as a refreshing change from the typical breakfast sandwich fair. I already had some ideas about messing around with "which came first, the chicken sandwich or the egg sandwich", but when it came down to it, I had to trust my gut and order what I really wanted.

I like the DLUX space, I'm a sucker for a center bar, and the staff were really on their game. It was expectedly crowded for graduation weekend but they seemed to have the situation under control and the food came out relatively fast.

Most of the patrons were partaking in the "bottomless mimosa" deal which looks like a great way to kickoff a day-drinking session. I also think it might be the healthiest item on the menu. I had already decided on the espresso milkshake and didn't regret it, it comes with whipped cream on top and a sprinkling of espresso. As delicious as it was I couldn't finish it as I knew it would ruin my appetite, but I highly recommend it. The Fresh Donut Balls are tasty as well. This was not a low calorie breakfast experience.

You want options? They got options.

That's a side of the Breakfast Potatoes with blue cheese and bacon.

Who's a little sausage patty? Who is? You are!

The Sandwich - Spicy Sausage. Like I said, the idea was to mix it up and get the Chicken Fried Chicken Sandwich, but that just wasn't feeling right at the time. The person next to me at the bar got it, and it looks worthy of research, but I didn't go down that path. The sandwiches are a la cart, but you can get a side of breakfast potatoes with options to dress them up. The first thing I noticed about my sandwich was that initially the bun seemed too big. I think a breakfast sandwich should have a nice little lava flow of cheesy-egginess creeping out the side but that wasn't happening here. The egg is fried so that removes the option of yolk flow. The sausage was excellent though, and the first bite was packed with flavor. The pepper jack cheese really goes with the sausage and should be an option at more establishments. The sriracha mayo is not over done and that's a good thing. Too much mayo will crush your sandwich dreams every time. It didn't jump out as a distinct addition but blended in with the overall spicy flavor, which was on the mild side of spicy. I'd say it's a 2 star level of spicy if you were ordering at a thai restaurant, and that works for me in the morning. A little kick, but that's it. The bread was OK but there was too much of it. This sandwich could have used more filler, or less bread - the bread to innards ratio was off.

The Result - 3.7 milkshakes out of 5 milkshakes. I enjoyed this sandwich but the bread ratio knocked it down a few points. It could use some greens on the side. If you decide to hit DLUX I would recommend bringing a couple friends so you can share the donut balls and the espresso milkshake. I'm going to try to get back there for the chicken fried chicken sandwich.

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Breakfast Sandwich #22 - The Old Fashioned aka Keep On The Sunny Side

Sandwich: Breakfast Sandwich
Location: The Old Fashioned
Date: May 5, 2015
Cost: $5

When The Old Fashioned first announced their Wisconsin-centric theme I thought it sounded pretty cheesy (ahem), but they did it right and they deliver excellent food and beer every time I'm there. The place is fantastic.

I didn't know they served weekday breakfast until I started putting together my list of places to check out. The Old Fashioned pulled a kind of flippity flappity floop on the normal breakfast/brunch menu - they offer the breakfast sandwich only during the week, it is not on the weekend brunch menu.

I'm rarely on the Capitol Square during the week so when I had a morning appointment I factored in a little time for research.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu when it was in my hands, luckily there is one on the door.

What's going on with that little piece of red leaf lettuce?

In real life the sandwich was not this blurry. This might be the shittiest collection of photos to date.

The Sandwich - Breakfast Sandwich. There is only one sandwich on the menu and no options are offered, which was perfect for me on this day. I was in a bit of a hurry and didn't want to think about it too much. I think this is the first sandwich that came with the egg sunny side up. I'm OK with that, I like the egg kind of runny and it's fun to say "sunny side up", or even just read it on a menu. It does make the sandwich rather sloppy though, and this one was goopier than a Bootsy Collins bass solo. I mean that in a good way. However, the English Muffin wasn't quite up to the task. Maybe a little more toasting would have helped, or a heartier bread. The sandwich didn't fall apart but the muffin got kind of soggy. The bacon was nice and crisp but a tiny bit burned on one end. I liked the little sprinkling of pepper on the egg when it came out and the sandwich had a good level of cheesiness.

I'm not sure what was going on with that scrap of red leaf lettuce. Was it a garnish? Was I supposed to put in on the sandwich? Even on an English Muffin it would have covered only half of the sandwich. I was perplexed. Ultimately I decided it was garnish and I left it for the Garnish Gods.

The Result - 3.79 lettuce scraps out of 5 lettuce scraps. This was a good sandwich but the ratio of egg goo to bread-heartiness was a little off. Definitely a two napkin sandwich. I don't know if many folks get these to go but it might not hold up to being transported to your office and you'll need a wet-wipe or something before you handle those important documents. That's not necessarily a bad thing but could be vital information. Most of these are probably consumed on site, is my guess.

There could probably be whole subset of sandwiches offered near the Capitol that are designed as "grab 'n go" and held to a slightly different criteria. I'm not going to be able to effectively explore that angle.

The purpose of this research is to determine if a breakfast sandwich can effectively brighten you day and this sandwich was able to do that. It was a rainy morning, a bit chilly out, and the "sunny side up" sandwich was able to nudge this day in the right direction.

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Diversions - Deconstructing A Chicago Bear's Sandwich

Matt Forte of the Chicago Bears recently did an "Ask Me Anything" on Reddit and a fellow named ToddTheTurnip asked him this question:

What's your favorite breakfast?

Matt Forte:

I eat really healthy so I like turkey bacon -- not just any kind, but Oscar Meyers turkey bacon. I'll fry an egg and make a breakfast sandwich. I also make green smoothies with kale and ginger.
---
Forte was born in 1985 and this Oscar Mayer jingle was before his time so I guess I should give him a pass on spelling Oscar Mayer wrong.

Turkey bacon. I don't know about that. I haven't had it for at least a couple of years. Maybe I should try it again but I'm skeptical. Very skeptical. I question the Oscar Mayer brand as well, I'd probably lean towards something like this.

I'm willing to let those things go but he didn't mention any cheese. You can't really have a breakfast sandwich without some cheese. Maybe he really doesn't use cheese? It could be some residual hatred of Wisconsin/Packers/Cheeseheads. The questioning was done by the time I saw it or I would have asked him about the cheese and his bread choice.

Anyway, that sandwich sounds kind of plain and dry. I didn't eat it, but I'm pretending to eat one in my head right now. It's on an English Muffin that is perfectly toasted. Still, it needs cheese or some wasabi aioli or something.

I give it 1.33 Cheeseheads out of 5 Cheeseheads. That smoothie sounds pretty damn tasty though.

YOBS (Year Of the Breakfast Sandwich) pt. III

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world (such as San Francisco)
And you may ask yourself
Well...Where can I get a breakfast sandwich in this town?

That's a nice little list and it includes a fun map.

But you may find yourself in New York City, in which case this list is going to steer you in the right direction. It also has a fun map. Check out #7 from Blue Smoke, made with burnt ends of their brisket. Damn. There is also a place called Pig's 'n Thighs (#9) that has a sandwiches called "Banjo" and "Hippie Banjo". I think they may be pandering to Banjo players but I'm not against that. There are some diverse options on that list and I support that.

Indirectly related to breakfast sandwiches is this guy ranting about bacon. Note that he published that piece on January 7, which is the same day I declared 2015 the Year Of The Breakfast Sandwich. I guess we had completely different attitudes on that day but I get where he is coming from.

Breakfast Sandwich #21 - Dunkin Donuts (DD) aka the "D" Stands For Dry

Sandwich: Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Bagel
Location: Dunkin' Donuts, Park Street
Date: April 25, 2015
Cost: $3.29

I love donuts. When I was kid Dunkin' Donuts were my favorite, but that was long before Greenbush Bakery opened on Regent Street. I haven't been to a Dunkin' Donuts in years but every once in awhile some will show up at work and I always eat one, or two. Sometimes I'll have even have one with sprinkles.

I'm not sure when they decided to get into the lucrative breakfast sandwich game, but I know I've seen their television ads promoting such things. They're always pushing their coffee too, it seems to be popular, even if it isn't "The Best Coffee In America".

At some point they started using DD as shorthand for their name which is probably an attempt at rebranding a la KFC/Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm sorry, but DD will always be Donald Driver in my book.

Having said all that, I was driving up Park Street the other morning, I had The Dusties Storm with Lady P on the radio, it was beautiful outside, and everything seemed right with the world. I saw the Dunkin' Donuts sign looming over the road and I knew it was time to try one of their sandwiches.

Who knew there are so many options? Flatbread?

Kind of just sitting there.

Crappy cut job courtesy of me and a dull knife.

The Sandwich - Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Bagel. I didn't know how many options they offered for breakfast sandwiches and when confronted with the drive through menu I just went for the bullseye and picked the item in the middle, although I did not get the "combo". I believe this was the first breakfast sandwich I've ordered on a bagel. It was high time to branch out a bit.

In the drive through I noticed that there was a Chevy truck in front of me and a Chevy Tahoe behind me. I drive a Chevy truck. Amateur market research suggests people that drive Chevy's like the Dunkin' Donuts drive through. Additional research suggests those drivers should stick to the donuts (with sprinkles). 

The Result - 1.27 Chevy's out of 5 Chevy's. It probably took me between 8-10 minutes to get home so it's possible that the sandwich would have been slightly better had it eaten it right away, but I doubt it. From the first bite the bagel soaked up all the moisture in my mouth. It was chewy and doughy in a bad way and I couldn't really taste the bacon or cheese. I could taste the egg a little, but mostly I could only taste dryness. "Dry" shouldn't be a flavor when you're talking about breakfast sandwiches. 

It just wasn't good, at all, but it didn't taste bad. There really isn't much more to say about it but if your basement ever floods I would suggest throwing a dozen of these bagels down there. They should take care of the problem in short order. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #20 - Crema Cafe aka Dining In The Eye Of The Hurricane

Sandwich: Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Crema Cafe
Date: April 19, 2015
Cost: $6.00

There almost isn't a reason to say anything about Crema Cafe as way of an introduction. Everybody already knows it's awesome or they probably haven't heard of it at all. It had been at least a year since I had stopped there for a breakfast sandwich but I know they make a great one. From day one it was always a ringer for inclusion here.

If you know about Crema Cafe you know that 10:30 on a Sunday is probably the worst time to go there. They had a decent line and it did move fairy quickly, but I forgot to order the side of Gouda grits so I had to go back through the line. By then the quotient of deluxe baby strollers had increased by three fold. The place was crowded and they kept coming though the door, but the food didn't take too long.

Words describing the sandwich and other stuff.

They were lined up side by each, they were.

Squaring off.

The Sandwich - Had to get the Breakfast Sandwich. Ham & Jam* was tempting but I wanted to see the kitchen's fastball. First, I like the a la carte sandwich. No need for superfluous sides (Gouda grits are not superfluous.) You can see that the sandwich came out in its Sunday best. Right away the bacon flavor was cutting through as it should. I've had a couple of episodes recently of bacon getting lost in a sandwich and it's kind of a crime. The egg, bacon, cream cheese and greens were great sandwich party minglers. I didn't really investigate the greens too closely until I looked at my photo of the menu and it said frisee, but it had arugula on it also. The green ratio on this sandwich was perfect, there is a nice little crunch but I didn't feel like somebody was trying to serve me a salad on bread. It's a bit of a sloppy sandwich but the ciabatta had a toothy grip on everything and that was appreciated.

The Result - 4.71 eyes of the hurricane out of 5 eyes of the hurricane.  There is something to be said of a sandwich that is so good you don't even care that Moms are standing next to your table comparing their hipster babies. I think a lady at the next table actually gave birth to a baby girl and named her Gouda**, but I was too engrossed in my sandwich to really notice. There really isn't anything wrong with this sandwich but it's not perfect. I think we're getting into personal preference here but if I was going to change anything, I'd go lighter on the cream cheese and order the egg over medium so it's a little runny. Extra points for the sandwich coming out cut and plated so nicely. That seems like a minor detail but I think it's important. 

I don't even know what a sandwich that rates a 5 would be, hopefully I'll know it when I taste it. What will probably happen, if there ever is a sandwich that rates 5, is people I know will go get it and then tell me why it ISN'T a 5. It sounds exhausting already. 

* I had a bite of the Ham & Jam and it definitely has potential.

** I went to a web site and ran a name analysis on the name "Gouda":

The name of Gouda will make this youngster head-strong and self-centered, yet she will have a happy-go-lucky outlook on life. She will enjoy meeting people and will make friends easily; however, being expressive and positive in opinion, she could be very cutting and sarcastic at times and will always want the last word in an argument. She will have musical ability and will love to sing, but will find it difficult to follow a routine, and without proper discipline her efforts will be scattered and incomplete. Her emotional nature will create a desire for rich foods and could bring health problems with the liver and kidneys, as well as skin eruptions, particularly during the teenage years.

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