Breakfast Sandwich #66 - McDonald's aka A Return To The Classics

Sandwich: Sausage Egg Biscuit
Location: McDonald's
Date: September 16, 2016
Cost: $3.18

I reviewed the Egg McMuffin awhile ago and noted at the time that if asked to guess I would have said it comes with sausage on it. It turns out that the classic McMuffin has Canadian bacon on it, not sausage.

Lately I've been wanting for a sausage based breakfast sandwich and although this was probably not the best choice to sate that craving, it was convenient. That's how they get you, right?

"Add Round Egg" sounds funny and more than doubles the cost of the sandwich for reasons I don't understand. Eggs are cheap.

Aesthetically pleasing bag design.

Looks OK, right?

The eye is immediately drawn to that base layer of melted cheese.

The Sandwich - Sausage Egg Biscuit. I guess it's really a Sausage Biscuit and the Egg is an add on, but here is the shocking part - they ask you if you want your egg folded, or round. When did that start? It startled me when she said it and I just stared at the drive thru speaker for a bit and then asked her to repeat the question. "Do you want your egg folded or round?", she repeated, and the tone of her voice had a subtext of "dumbass" in it, which was probably not unfounded. I ordered the round egg because it's more visually appealing, usually it looks like cartoon food. I didn't tell her that part. I'm not sure how much of this sandwich is real food, but it does a pretty good job of posing as real food. The biscuit was alright, a little smooshy, but it didn't crumble apart. The round egg was cartoony and ok, I already knew it wouldn't be runny, and the cheese was nice and melty. The sausage had the exact sausage flavor I was craving. Overall, it was just about exactly what I thought it would be although a little on the salty side. After looking up the nutritional content it turns out it was a lot saltier than I thought, but it didn't taste as such. It has considerably less sodium than the Denny's sandwich I recently had, which isn't saying much.

The Result - 3.50 Better Than You Thinks out of 5 Better Than You Thinks. I intentionally avoided my previous McDonald's review so as not to color my opinion on this one - and now that I look it's the same sandwich, but on a biscuit instead of a muffin. Well, shit. I thought I reviewed the classic McMuffin with Canadian bacon last time. Nope. But, I have rated this sandwich much higher than that one. I can't change it now, that would be intellectually dishonest. I guess the crux of the biscuit is "what a difference a day (or biscuit) can make". Makes sense. Maybe the first time I went to this McDonald's the head chef was on vacation and the sous chef made my sandwich and he was a little hungover. I don't know. This sandwich was pretty good but I had low expectations and I think that helped. It shouldn't be a surprise that it was OK, they've been cranking out these sandwiches by the thousands for several decades.

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Breakfast Sandwich #65 - Johnson Public House aka Special Agents Recommend Special Sandwiches

Sandwich: Sunday Morning
Location: Johnson Public House
Date: September 11, 2016
Cost: $7

I had heard the rumblings about the Sunday Morning sandwich at Johnson Public House but hadn't hadn't made it a point to stop in there. In retrospect it was foolish to wait this long.

Honestly, I was really in the mood for breakfast sausage on this morning as the past 3 reviews have all included ham, and before that it had been a solid run of bacon-focused sandwiches. Things have been a little hamcentric here lately and that was going to continue for at least one more day.

Breakfast sausage aside, I wanted a really good cup of coffee and JPH fell more or less on the path of my morning errand. Also, I read the description of the Sunday Morning sandwich and whenever I see the words ham and maple syrup together I can only think of Special Agent Dale Cooper.

The description from their web site:

Sunday Morning: ham + maple syrup + cheddar + fried egg

Very enticing. 

I couldn't decide if this shot or the following one with the direct sun was better.

Too much sun? Probably. 

The Sandwich - Sunday Morning. No options are offered. As soon as this sandwich came out I forgot about my desire for breakfast sausage. The top piece of bread was slightly askew and when I lifted it I saw that the yolk was still a little bit runny. What a pleasant surprise. When I think of coffee shop sandwiches I think of boring eggs that have probably been microwaved or whatever, but this sandwich immediately pushed that thought out of my head. You can see the nice base of melty cheddar on the bottom and while you can't see the maple syrup, it is there. The maple syrup is the key here - there is just enough to combine with the ham in a tasty way but not so much that it takes over and is oozing out all over the place. I was afraid there would be too much. Agent Cooper was really on to something here. That top piece of bread might look burnt, but no, it had a nice toasted char to it and while this was a fairly messy affair, the bread kept things together.

The Result - 4.75 Special Agents out of 5 Special Agents. I have definitely been more generous with my ratings in 2016, at least on the really good sandwiches. Maybe I've just been hitting the right places at the right time. OK, but anyway, this was a great sandwich. This could easily be a 5. I can't think of what I would do to improve it. Maybe serve it with a little wet nap like you get at a barbecue place? Make the egg runnier and the sandwich even messier and serve it with two wet naps? The perfect amount of syrup does make your fingers sticky and then when you try to take photos of the sandwich your phone gets a little sticky. That might be the definition of a First World Problem. This sandwich also gets points for creativity - nobody else is making anything like this out there in the field. Are they? If they are I'd like to know about it. I think this sandwich would also work with breakfast sausage in place of the ham, although perhaps not as well. I'm going to have to try the other sandwiches at some point - I almost ordered the roast beef but Agent Cooper kept me on track. The cup of Kenyan coffee was incredible.

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Breakfast Sandwich Word Cloud

Slap some of these together and you've got yourself a sandwich review!

Breakfast Sandwich #64 - Sardine aka Pushing The Limits Of The Definition

Sandwich: Croque Madame
Location: Sardine
Date: August 28, 2016
Cost: $15.50, comes with mixed greens and frites and two adorable little pickles.

I had been hearing about the Sardine brunch for some time, particularly the bloody mary, and realized it was finally the right time to go. The weather was perfect for a bike ride and the proximity to my next destination, the Orton Park Festival, lined up. Timing is everything. Brunch me up, Sardine!

I don't have a photo of the menu but their web site has all the info:

CROQUE MADAME with Bayonne ham, gruyère cheese, béchamel, egg served with mixed greens and frites. (I think the printed menu listed the egg as "sunny side up").

The egg yolk was a symbolic metaphor for the rest of the day. Note: two adorable little pickles.

Things are getting sloppy here but I wanted you to see the guts of this sandwich. Note: the two adorable little pickles were consumed immediately and are not in this shot.

The Sandwich - Croque Madame. First of all, Croque Madame is as fun to say as Moons Over My Hammy, but for completely different reasons. I probably pronounced it wrong anyway. The server did ask if the sunny side up egg was going to be OK, obviously she is not one of my loyal readers and has not grown weary of my talk of runny eggs. Or, she IS a loyal reader and was just egging me on. This leads me to believe that you could order the egg another way despite how foolish that would be.

Honestly, I was not familiar with Croque Madame, or her male sandwich counterpart Croque Monsieur, but I found a nice little breakdown that answered my main question - why is the version with the egg called "Madame"? (The egg is said to resemble a woman's hat.) If that's true I'll eat my hat. 

This plate was a work of art when it arrived. Everything about it looked inviting and appetizing. Even the sacrificial pickles cresting between the sandwich and the greens threw off a vibe of "look at how cute we are - YOU MUST EAT US NOW". You might think that the béchamel and the cheese and the runny egg would lead to a goopy mess but they have all the ratios nailed down cause it's all just right. They don't list what type of bread they use but it must be something hardy as it stood up to all that butter and cheese. 

The little cup of Dijon mustard pairs well with the ham and I spent the whole time trying to get the correct ratio of ham/bread/cheese/egg/mustard onto the fork. Even when I didn't succeed the bites were mighty tasty. 

The greens had a slightly sweet flavor, less tangy than most breakfast greens, and are a wonderful pairing. I like my Freedom Frites crispy and that's exactly how these were served. 

The Result - 4.99 Sandwiches By Definition out of 5 Sandwiches By Definition. I can't think of anything wrong with this sandwich, or even this entire meal. While the Croque Madame is by definition a sandwich, you can't pick it up and eat it like a traditional sandwich. You need a fork or you're in trouble. That isn't the fault of the Madame but it wouldn't be fair to the other sandwiches to not point it out. Maybe it isn't technically a breakfast sandwich due to the egg being on the outside of the bread? I'm not going to quibble about such trifles. 

In the past I have grumbled about sandwich prices, perhaps too much, and $15.50 would seem to be a lot for a sandwich, but this is a fairly large meal of excellent food. It's less than twice the cost of Moons Over My Hammy and that sandwich was mouth garbage.

I didn't even mention the beet bloody mary yet. It's still a bloody mary at heart, with a dash of beety goodness that hits you as soon as you sip and then settles into a more traditional bloody mary taste.

Everything about this experience was right on - the perfect morning for a bike ride, the food, service (at the bar) and setting (vibrant but not overly busy and loud), all came together. The overall goal of this research is to see if an excellent sandwich can affect your entire day and attitude and there is no question that this sandwich did that. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #63 - Denny's aka Salt Is A Drug

Sandwich: Moons Over My Hammy
Location: Denny's (East)
Date: August 19, 2016

Cost: $8.59, comes with choice of potato

Somehow it took 20 months for me to visit one of the more obvious choices for a breakfast sandwich. I think my cousin even called out the The Grand Slamwich in the early days of these reviews, and now that I finally made it to Denny's* I didn't even order it. 

Prior to my Denny's visit if you had asked me who makes the "Moons Over My Hammy" sandwich I would have said "IHOP". I think I may have been mixing up my cheekily-named chain restaurant breakfasts. See "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity". I guess those are the only two breakfast menu items I can think of with cutesy names. You don't see Waffle House jackin' around with dumb names but you can order a Waffle House tie dye tshirt from their web site. I hope I see somebody walking around in one of those. I will buy them a breakfast sandwich, or a hashbrown bowl, if available.

The dream...

...vs. the reality

#whogivesaratsassaboutfluffypancakes

The Sandwich - Moons Over My Hammy. I was going to get The Grand Slamwich but the caloric content scared me off. There are no options with the sandwich although they offer you choice of potato - the menu only lists browns. I like the idea that this sandwich has American AND Swiss cheese on it. I also like that it comes on sourdough bread. Sadly, those concepts are where my enjoyment ended. This was not a good sandwich. It tasted of salt and not much else. Sodium with a sandwich texture. For some reason I thought the heavy salt flavor was coming from the bread, but I couldn't really pin it down. The very first bite sent me into a Sonic flashback that I didn't enjoy.

I don't think consumer grade cold cut deli ham has any business being near a breakfast sandwich - give me some nice ham or stick with sausage and bacon. I guess I can't complain about the ham too much as all I tasted was salt. 2,560 milligrams of salt, to be exact, which is more sodium than you should have in an entire day. The Sonic sandwich only had 1,560 mg of sodium and that was bad enough. Maybe I can blame the ham for some of the salt flavor.

The Result - 1.56 Bad Sodium Trips out of 5 Bad Sodium Trips. I'm giving this the same ranking as the Sonic sandwich. This one might have been worse than the Sonic sandwich but it's hard to compare them 18 months apart. It certainly wasn't any better than The Breakfast Toaster. The fun pretty much ended right after I said "Moons Over My Hammy", which I did enjoy saying. Honestly, this sandwich made me feel just a little "off" for the rest of the morning. I was glad I had brought a salad for lunch. 

I guess this sandwich did serve a higher purpose in that it got me talking about salt which reminded me of one of the greatest songs to come out of a Madison band - More Salt.

The coffee and hash browns were fine. I actually enjoyed the hash browns quite a bit but that may have been in comparison to the sandwich. 

*If you didn't click the Denny's link just know that you are missing the "Pancake Rejection Simulator", which I think you should check out. Todd will be sad if you don't.

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Breakfast Sandwich #62 - Off Broadway aka Just Like (Sand)wiches At Black Masses

Sandwich: Breakfast War Pig
Location: Off Broadway Drafthouse
Date: August 6, 2016
Cost: $11.50, comes with a side of greens

Off Broadway is the retooled South Bay Lounge, tucked just a bit off of W. Broadway near South Towne Mall. The chef came over from Crema Cafe and brought the War Pig sandwich which had been an occasional weekend special at Crema and one that I had never gotten around to trying. Crema Cafe lists their specials in a weekly email, with descriptions, so if you don't make it to the restaurant you know exactly what you are missing:


Breakfast War Pig
Grilled Niman Ranch pork loin, Uphoff Farms ham, Jones Farm bacon, fried egg, melted Muenster cheese, citrus aioli, red onion and baby arugula on toasted ciabatta. Served with greens in our citrus vinaigrette.


You can imagine my excitement in learning that this would be a regular item on the Off Broadway menu.

Just look at all that pig.

The Sandwich - Breakfast War Pig. The sandwich came out of the kitchen piping hot - there were actually little steam curls coming off of it but I couldn't capture them from the angle that the light was coming from. It comes pre-sliced revealing layer upon layer of pork to satisfy all your goyem taste buds. The pork loin is the biggest flavor on this sandwich and it hits you right away. It was grilled perfectly and was a bit juicy but not overly so. The crispy saltiness of the bacon follows right after the pork loin and is a very nice compliment, indeed. The fried egg is almost superfluous. This is technically a breakfast sandwich but in reality is more of a pork sandwich that has a fried egg on it. The meat to egg ratio is much higher than on your average breakfast sandwich. This isn't a bad thing, and is probably evident from the photo, but it's worth noting. The greens give this a healthy nod and the Muenster cheese pairs up with the citrus aioli to give this the proper viscosity. The red onions didn't want to cooperate and fell out of the sandwich a few times, but with this much pork you need some onion on there for a little zip. The toasted ciabatta did an admiral job of corralling the pig which was no easy feat. It wasn't overly bready and held sturdy while not being too thick and chewy.

The Result - 4.69 Sandwiches Named After Black Sabbath Songs out of 5 Sandwiches Named After Black Sabbath Songs. This was an excellent and filling sandwich. After eating this I went to an outdoor music festival and didn't eat again for another 7 or 8 hours. There is nothing wrong with this sandwich but I'm not convinced the ham needs to be there, I didn't really taste it although I'm sure it added some of that delicious saltiness. I wonder what would happen if you cooked the egg so it had a runny yolk? It might get overly sloppy - but pigs like slop. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #61 - Holstein Kitchen aka Accidental Breakfast Sandwich

Sandwich: Brunch Sandwich - Packer Po' Boy
Location: Holstein Kitchen
Date: July 23, 2016
Cost: $10.75

I didn't know anything about Holstein Kitchen but circumstances lead to me meeting somebody there for lunch on a Saturday and lunch time was still brunch time according to the kitchen.

The regular menu does not have a breakfast sandwich on it but the Brunch Specials menu DOES. I had my heart set on the bacon and kale omelette until I saw the specials at which point I changed my order due to #A) research, #B) science, #C) the greater good and #D) the will of the people.

If it had been a standard breakfast sandwich I may have stuck with the bacon and kale but I'm looking for more inventive breakfast sandwiches these days and I couldn't let this opportunity slip away. I don't know when I'll make it back to Oregon so carpe diem and all that. Side note - Oregon has been getting fancier in the past few years.

I didn't take a photo of the menu but captured this from their facebook page.

It's a saucy little number!

The Sandwich - Packer Po'Boy. The only thing "Packer-ish" about this is that the sausage is made in Green Bay. OK, that's fine, every sandwich needs a name. I only took the single photo so you can't see that the Cajun Farmer sausage were links that are cut length wise and run the length of the bun. The sausage has a little Cajun kick to it, but it's subtle. The sandwich description might lead you to think this is a spicy sandwich, and it is, but only mildly so, the jalapeno peppers are either very tame or used sparingly. The sweet red pepper aioli gives it a nice goo-factor, no need for the eggs to be runny on this sandwich, and the bread is hearty enough to keep the slop in check. Onions aren't included on enough breakfast sandwiches, maybe they think if you want onions you'll get an omelette, but they blend well on this number. Come to think of it, this sandwich is almost an omelette on a bun (which could be a good name for a sandwich). The potatoes were crisp and delicious.

The Result. 4.19 trips to Oregon out of 5 trips to Oregon. Mighty fine sandwich, it was. Like I said, if it had been a standard breakfast sandwich I might have passed on it, but I enjoyed the fresh approach. I actually think this sandwich should be a little spicier, but I suspect they toned it down for the average consumer. If you like spice I'll be you could request it with more heat, they seem to be very accommodating at Holstein Kitchen. Other than that I can't specify what I would do to improve this sandwich, it was very, very, good but didn't grab my taste buds enough to vault it into the high 4's. I guess that's just personal preference?  I want to note that the other two diners really enjoyed their meals but I can't remember what they ordered. We did get a piece of the Pain Perdue to share, and it was great, but it's the kind of thing I only want a few bites of. 

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