Breakfast Sandwich #85 - Special K Flatbread Breakfast Sandwich aka All Lost In The Supermarket

Sandwich: Bacon, Egg & Cheese Flatbread Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Freezer Section At Your Local Supermarket
Date: February 19, 2017
Cost: $1.22 (4 for $4.89)

I was doing my normal grocery shopping and had no thoughts of breakfast sandwiches. Honest. I had one more item on my list before I was going to be on my way, and then I looked up and there was a sign, literally and figuratively, "breakfast entrees". 

Did you know Special K makes frozen breakfast sandwiches? I did not. I accepted this opportunity which had presented itself and chose the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Flatbread variety, although there were several choices available.

That photo isn't really selling me. This is clearly 100% pure research. 

In its protective sheath.

Post microwave. Mint for scale.

It didn't really cut in half so much as just smoosh apart. 

The Sandwich - I chose the Bacon, Egg & Cheese but was close to going with the sausage. I'll be honest, I don't think it would have mattered. It's hard to go into eating this with an open mind but I did try, although my expectations were low. So low. I think when they are creating these things in their labs they probably spend as much time on the smell as the the flavor. This thing smelled OK when it came out of the microwave but everything went downhill from there. 

I'm getting ahead of myself. You, the astute reader, are probably thinking "of course a sandwich made in the microwave will suck". You are not wrong to think that, but, these did not offer an alternative cooking process. The directions listed "in the microwave (recommended method)" and nothing else. So that's what I did. I guess I could have tried the toaster oven.

The pasteurized processed gouda cheese melted nicely. I can say that. Other than that this was more or less a squishy salt bomb. Looking at the ingredients we've got sodium phosphate, sodium erythorbate and sodium nitrate as well as good old fashioned salt. Given the flavor I was surprised to see that one of these is only 24% of your daily sodium intake. It tasted a lot higher. The spongy texture didn't help.

The Result - 1.22 Frozen Foods Misadventures out of 5 Frozen Foods Misadventures. The cost of this sandwich was $1.22 and that seems as good a rating as anything.

I don't think it's worth writing much else about this. Even for somebody who wants a quick and cheap option to eat before work, I can't envision them enjoying this. Who knows, though? Maybe I'm just a breakfast sandwich snob. (I am).

There are still three left that I'm going to put in the freezer at work with a note on them and they'll be gone within 48 hours, I'll bet. Maybe I can get somebody at work to offer a second, third or fourth opinion. That would be swell.

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Breakfast Sandwich #63 - Denny's aka Salt Is A Drug

Sandwich: Moons Over My Hammy
Location: Denny's (East)
Date: August 19, 2016

Cost: $8.59, comes with choice of potato

Somehow it took 20 months for me to visit one of the more obvious choices for a breakfast sandwich. I think my cousin even called out the The Grand Slamwich in the early days of these reviews, and now that I finally made it to Denny's* I didn't even order it. 

Prior to my Denny's visit if you had asked me who makes the "Moons Over My Hammy" sandwich I would have said "IHOP". I think I may have been mixing up my cheekily-named chain restaurant breakfasts. See "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity". I guess those are the only two breakfast menu items I can think of with cutesy names. You don't see Waffle House jackin' around with dumb names but you can order a Waffle House tie dye tshirt from their web site. I hope I see somebody walking around in one of those. I will buy them a breakfast sandwich, or a hashbrown bowl, if available.

The dream...

...vs. the reality

#whogivesaratsassaboutfluffypancakes

The Sandwich - Moons Over My Hammy. I was going to get The Grand Slamwich but the caloric content scared me off. There are no options with the sandwich although they offer you choice of potato - the menu only lists browns. I like the idea that this sandwich has American AND Swiss cheese on it. I also like that it comes on sourdough bread. Sadly, those concepts are where my enjoyment ended. This was not a good sandwich. It tasted of salt and not much else. Sodium with a sandwich texture. For some reason I thought the heavy salt flavor was coming from the bread, but I couldn't really pin it down. The very first bite sent me into a Sonic flashback that I didn't enjoy.

I don't think consumer grade cold cut deli ham has any business being near a breakfast sandwich - give me some nice ham or stick with sausage and bacon. I guess I can't complain about the ham too much as all I tasted was salt. 2,560 milligrams of salt, to be exact, which is more sodium than you should have in an entire day. The Sonic sandwich only had 1,560 mg of sodium and that was bad enough. Maybe I can blame the ham for some of the salt flavor.

The Result - 1.56 Bad Sodium Trips out of 5 Bad Sodium Trips. I'm giving this the same ranking as the Sonic sandwich. This one might have been worse than the Sonic sandwich but it's hard to compare them 18 months apart. It certainly wasn't any better than The Breakfast Toaster. The fun pretty much ended right after I said "Moons Over My Hammy", which I did enjoy saying. Honestly, this sandwich made me feel just a little "off" for the rest of the morning. I was glad I had brought a salad for lunch. 

I guess this sandwich did serve a higher purpose in that it got me talking about salt which reminded me of one of the greatest songs to come out of a Madison band - More Salt.

The coffee and hash browns were fine. I actually enjoyed the hash browns quite a bit but that may have been in comparison to the sandwich. 

*If you didn't click the Denny's link just know that you are missing the "Pancake Rejection Simulator", which I think you should check out. Todd will be sad if you don't.

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