Breakfast Sandwich #112 - Stalzy's aka Fundamentally Speaking

Sandwich: Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Stalzy's Deli & Bakery
Date: February 17, 2018
Cost: $7.50

I reviewed Stalzy's in August of 2015 and I hadn't been back for breakfast since. During that visit I ordered The Brooklyn and I recall thinking it was tremendous but sandwich related duties had kept me from making it back there until now. It didn't feel like two and half years since my initial visit but the sandwich industry waits for no man and I was excited to return and try something else.

In keeping with protocol I have not read my previous Stalzy's review so as not to influence my ranking in this review. The other side of that coin is that there is a good chance I'll repeat myself but let's not kid each other - nobody remembers what I wrote two and a half years ago and you're not going to go back and read it now. You're probably not even going to read this. 

I was nearly swayed by that Pork Breakfast Sandwich but decided to go with the standard and a promise to myself to get back there relatively soon to try the other.

It arrived jauntily propped across itself with a rakish pool of yolk peering from underneath.

The Sandwich - Breakfast Sandwich. The only choices offered on the menu are the meats but I suspect they would cook the chicken egg however you like and substitute the bread for other options they have on hand. I was in the mood for bacon so that was an easy choice. The classics will never fail you. At no time was I tempted to try the bologna although that would have been a first for these pages. I don't consider bologna a breakfast meat but I'm wondering how much of a difference there is between bologna and pork roll, the breakfast staple of the east coast. That's a discussion for another time and sandwich. The execution of this sandwich was nearly flawless with the egg cooked just how I like it and the American cheese and mayo combining into a fantasticated viscousness. Truth be told the sandwich might not need the mayonnaise but it worked for me. The bread was toasted to the level required for a sandwich of this nature - anything less and it would risk falling apart. The bacon was just a touch crispier than I like it but I'm quibbling about minor details at this point. Ultimately this is a solid, basic breakfast sandwich with the mayo being the the only deviation from the classic BEC model. Sometimes it's all about the fundamentals.

The Result - 4.48 Bacon Fundamentals out of 5 Bacon Fundamentals. As Vince Lombardi might have said, "Gentlemen, this is a sandwich." I think I've covered all the details I need to with this sandwich. It was everything I wanted a breakfast sandwich to be on that morning. Some days you want ginger aioli and arugula and house made kangaroo sausage and other days you want the classics. I also heartily recommend the potato pancakes. I don't know if they make the jams/jellies in house but they are fantastic as well.

I just dipped back into my review from August of 2015 (Sandwich #34) and I concluded that review with "I may make it back to try the classic breakfast sandwich at some point." I'm slow but I'm a man of my word.


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Breakfast Sandwich #111 - Green Forest Family Restaurant aka Partying With A Pony

Sandwich: Sausage & 2 Egg Sandwich
Location: Green Forest Family Restaurant
Date: February 3, 2018
Cost: $5.99

I know nothing of the Green Forest Family Restaurant. I'd passed by it before on my way to wherever and it stuck in my mind as a place that would probably have a breakfast sandwich and it was added to the list. The list has long been exhausted and abandoned but on this Saturday morning I had to make a run out to the Dane County Landfill/Clean Sweep and I had some time to kill so I began hunting and gathering for a breakfast sandwich.

Speaking of garbage, my first thought was the Arby's out by the Dutch Mill Park & Ride. I actually pulled into the lot and did a quick search to determine if Arby's has breakfast sandwiches. At this point the sacrifices I make for this endeavor should be readily apparent. I didn't want to eat at Arby's. I searched for it anyway and when I saw this story I decided that was good enough for me. I didn't actually go inside to look at the menu because I didn't want to find out if they had launched a nationwide breakfast menu. It was fine with me if the only Arby's serving breakfast is in Manhattan which makes no sense at all but was true as of January 2016. There was a brief moment where I envisioned eating an Arby's breakfast sandwich in my pickup truck in the Park & Ride parking lot and it was going to be the saddest sandwich review ever and probably Pulitzer worthy and perhaps my ticket to sandwich fan fiction stardom. It was not meant to be. 

I left the Park & Ride relieved, but unsated. The nearby Denny's was unworthy of consideration. I know everything I need to know about Denny's. The Green Forest was the obvious choice. 

Before I went inside I did a quick search to make sure I could get a breakfast sandwich. Confirmed. I also learned that there is a pony who likes to party. 

That sounds like a fun pony. Honestly, when I consider animals that would be fun to have at a party a pony is pretty far down the list. Aside from the obvious kittens and puppies I'd rather party with a sloth, capybara, baby goats, raccoons or piglets. That's just off the top of my head. Hell, a Komodo dragon would be way more fun than a pony assuming you have some ducklings or something to feed it. What? No. This is getting a little too dark. You see what driving past an Arby's and Denny's does to my head? This isn't even funny anymore. 

I took a seat at the diner-style counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich.

They have options.

Bonus pickle and flowery plate.

Cross section. Note jams and jellies in the background. This will be important later. 

The Sandwich - Sausage & 2 Egg Sandwich. I inquired about the bread choices and she explained they can also serve them on whole wheat or white bread, or toast. I was feeling All American at this point, probably due to the partying pony, so I went with sausage on white toast. No wheat toast today, thank you. They don't offer choices on how you want your eggs cooked, or choice of cheese, which is a shame. The sandwich arrived in short order and just as it did a man who I believe to be the proprietor sat down next to me. The woman on the other side of the counter I assumed to be his wife. This really is a family restaurant. He asked me how my breakfast was and we somehow ended up talking about electric cars and other random topics. He had some gyro slices on bread and he asked the waitress for some of the jelly that was in front of me. This lead to an odd exchange.

"You put jelly on your gyro?"

"I'm a jelly guy."

He sure was. Strawberry jelly, to be precise. I believe he is Greek and if a Greek wants to put jelly on his gyro who am I to question it? As a point of clarification I'd like to say that there were not onions, tomatoes or tzatziki sauce on the gyro meat. Mixing jelly with that would be gross. 

There isn't much to say about my sandwich. My interaction with my new dining companion was far more interesting, which I guess tells you something about the sandwich. Truth be told, the sandwich was kind of sad. Take a look at it. It was as basic as it looks, the sausage wasn't particularly flavorful, the egg was not cooked how I like it and the cheese was overly melted. The white toast was OK though! 

The Result - 3.01 Partying Ponies out of 5 Partying Ponies. If you recall the start of this project you know that the mission is to see how a breakfast sandwich can influence your day. In this case it was the entire interaction surrounding the sandwich which made for an enlivened and invigorating meal. The sandwich was but a footnote, and not much of one at that. So, the result you see above is the ranking for the experience as a whole. It would seem the breakfast sandwiches are not the forte at the Green Forest, and that's OK. I love that there is a family restaurant somewhat tucked off the beaten path that is making a go of it right down the road from a Denny's. While I may never again eat a breakfast sandwich at Green Forest I know for a fact that when I get that Pulitzer I'm having a big party with all you people and a pony and probably a sloth. 

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