Location: The Laboratory
Date: May 9, 2017
I'M SORRY I REALLY AM!
I had no intention of reporting on any research from the lab but the invisible forces that control the sandwich universe had other ideas. In other words, somebody gave me some eggs. This came hot on the heels of Sandwiches #89 and #90 which were developed based on hot tips given to me by various lovers of sandwiches. Together, we are advancing the sandwich arts and for this we should all be proud.
A longtime reader, and provider of Sandwich #6, has moved to the country and is the keeper of a brood of hens. He contacted me the other day to see if I wanted some eggs for an upcoming sandwich review. (This somewhat answers a question that has been bothering me - what do those chicken people do with all those fucking eggs?) I accepted those eggs, naturally, and here we are.
|Fresh from the farm. I knew right away I was going to cook up that green martian egg.|
The Sandwich - Usinger's bacon, American cheese, farm fresh chicken eggs, red pepper spread, Bay's multi-grain English Muffin. First, I want to point out that these eggs came from actual farm chickens, not some of those punk-ass city chickens that live on Jennifer Street and have a Bernie 2016 sticker on their coop. I was sure this would affect the flavor. (It did not.) I succeeded in cooking the eggs over medium so there would be plenty of yolky ooze. I did not use the Mason jar lid cooking method. The blueprint for this sandwich was simple: toasted muffin base, egg, slice of cheese, bacon, egg, slice of cheese, toasted muffin top with red pepper spread. I thought the eggs were just right and when I cut it in half on the cutting board I had my proof. Luckily I was able to easily transfer all that yolk over to my plate.
|Fear not - the cheese did melt some more.|
|Double your eggs, double your yolk.|
The Result - It was delicious but maybe just a little too much. American cheese is tasty and it melts beautifully but two slices paired with the eggs was a little thick on the tongue. The red pepper spread was added in the hope that it would help combat this but it wasn't enough. This sandwich could have used something vinegary to help break it down - pickle slices or giardiniera would have been good. I had plenty of yolk to mop up with the muffin and that was wonderful. I only went with a single layer of bacon so this whole thing wouldn't get entirely out of control. I think that was a wise choice.
And that is that. I would like to promise you a review of a sandwich from a local establishment but I'm afraid it is out of my hands. I have resigned myself to play whatever cards the Sandwich Gods deal me. If you want to read a review of a sandwich from a restaurant I suggest you pray that the winds guide me there. Pray hard. Pray like a motherfucker. If you want to read reviews of homemade sandwiches (you don't), suggest a fresh angle or come over to my house and slaughter a hog and we'll make some fresh pork belly breakfast sandwiches. The neighbors won't like that but maybe we can make them a sandwich. They're nice people.