Breakfast Sandwich #63 - Denny's aka Salt Is A Drug

Sandwich: Moons Over My Hammy
Location: Denny's (East)
Date: August 19, 2016

Cost: $8.59, comes with choice of potato

Somehow it took 20 months for me to visit one of the more obvious choices for a breakfast sandwich. I think my cousin even called out the The Grand Slamwich in the early days of these reviews, and now that I finally made it to Denny's* I didn't even order it. 

Prior to my Denny's visit if you had asked me who makes the "Moons Over My Hammy" sandwich I would have said "IHOP". I think I may have been mixing up my cheekily-named chain restaurant breakfasts. See "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity". I guess those are the only two breakfast menu items I can think of with cutesy names. You don't see Waffle House jackin' around with dumb names but you can order a Waffle House tie dye tshirt from their web site. I hope I see somebody walking around in one of those. I will buy them a breakfast sandwich, or a hashbrown bowl, if available.

The dream...

...vs. the reality

#whogivesaratsassaboutfluffypancakes

The Sandwich - Moons Over My Hammy. I was going to get The Grand Slamwich but the caloric content scared me off. There are no options with the sandwich although they offer you choice of potato - the menu only lists browns. I like the idea that this sandwich has American AND Swiss cheese on it. I also like that it comes on sourdough bread. Sadly, those concepts are where my enjoyment ended. This was not a good sandwich. It tasted of salt and not much else. Sodium with a sandwich texture. For some reason I thought the heavy salt flavor was coming from the bread, but I couldn't really pin it down. The very first bite sent me into a Sonic flashback that I didn't enjoy.

I don't think consumer grade cold cut deli ham has any business being near a breakfast sandwich - give me some nice ham or stick with sausage and bacon. I guess I can't complain about the ham too much as all I tasted was salt. 2,560 milligrams of salt, to be exact, which is more sodium than you should have in an entire day. The Sonic sandwich only had 1,560 mg of sodium and that was bad enough. Maybe I can blame the ham for some of the salt flavor.

The Result - 1.56 Bad Sodium Trips out of 5 Bad Sodium Trips. I'm giving this the same ranking as the Sonic sandwich. This one might have been worse than the Sonic sandwich but it's hard to compare them 18 months apart. It certainly wasn't any better than The Breakfast Toaster. The fun pretty much ended right after I said "Moons Over My Hammy", which I did enjoy saying. Honestly, this sandwich made me feel just a little "off" for the rest of the morning. I was glad I had brought a salad for lunch. 

I guess this sandwich did serve a higher purpose in that it got me talking about salt which reminded me of one of the greatest songs to come out of a Madison band - More Salt.

The coffee and hash browns were fine. I actually enjoyed the hash browns quite a bit but that may have been in comparison to the sandwich. 

*If you didn't click the Denny's link just know that you are missing the "Pancake Rejection Simulator", which I think you should check out. Todd will be sad if you don't.

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #62 - Off Broadway aka Just Like (Sand)wiches At Black Masses

Sandwich: Breakfast War Pig
Location: Off Broadway Drafthouse
Date: August 6, 2016
Cost: $11.50, comes with a side of greens

Off Broadway is the retooled South Bay Lounge, tucked just a bit off of W. Broadway near South Towne Mall. The chef came over from Crema Cafe and brought the War Pig sandwich which had been an occasional weekend special at Crema and one that I had never gotten around to trying. Crema Cafe lists their specials in a weekly email, with descriptions, so if you don't make it to the restaurant you know exactly what you are missing:


Breakfast War Pig
Grilled Niman Ranch pork loin, Uphoff Farms ham, Jones Farm bacon, fried egg, melted Muenster cheese, citrus aioli, red onion and baby arugula on toasted ciabatta. Served with greens in our citrus vinaigrette.


You can imagine my excitement in learning that this would be a regular item on the Off Broadway menu.

Just look at all that pig.

The Sandwich - Breakfast War Pig. The sandwich came out of the kitchen piping hot - there were actually little steam curls coming off of it but I couldn't capture them from the angle that the light was coming from. It comes pre-sliced revealing layer upon layer of pork to satisfy all your goyem taste buds. The pork loin is the biggest flavor on this sandwich and it hits you right away. It was grilled perfectly and was a bit juicy but not overly so. The crispy saltiness of the bacon follows right after the pork loin and is a very nice compliment, indeed. The fried egg is almost superfluous. This is technically a breakfast sandwich but in reality is more of a pork sandwich that has a fried egg on it. The meat to egg ratio is much higher than on your average breakfast sandwich. This isn't a bad thing, and is probably evident from the photo, but it's worth noting. The greens give this a healthy nod and the Muenster cheese pairs up with the citrus aioli to give this the proper viscosity. The red onions didn't want to cooperate and fell out of the sandwich a few times, but with this much pork you need some onion on there for a little zip. The toasted ciabatta did an admiral job of corralling the pig which was no easy feat. It wasn't overly bready and held sturdy while not being too thick and chewy.

The Result - 4.69 Sandwiches Named After Black Sabbath Songs out of 5 Sandwiches Named After Black Sabbath Songs. This was an excellent and filling sandwich. After eating this I went to an outdoor music festival and didn't eat again for another 7 or 8 hours. There is nothing wrong with this sandwich but I'm not convinced the ham needs to be there, I didn't really taste it although I'm sure it added some of that delicious saltiness. I wonder what would happen if you cooked the egg so it had a runny yolk? It might get overly sloppy - but pigs like slop. 

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #61 - Holstein Kitchen aka Accidental Breakfast Sandwich

Sandwich: Brunch Sandwich - Packer Po' Boy
Location: Holstein Kitchen
Date: July 23, 2016
Cost: $10.75

I didn't know anything about Holstein Kitchen but circumstances lead to me meeting somebody there for lunch on a Saturday and lunch time was still brunch time according to the kitchen.

The regular menu does not have a breakfast sandwich on it but the Brunch Specials menu DOES. I had my heart set on the bacon and kale omelette until I saw the specials at which point I changed my order due to #A) research, #B) science, #C) the greater good and #D) the will of the people.

If it had been a standard breakfast sandwich I may have stuck with the bacon and kale but I'm looking for more inventive breakfast sandwiches these days and I couldn't let this opportunity slip away. I don't know when I'll make it back to Oregon so carpe diem and all that. Side note - Oregon has been getting fancier in the past few years.

I didn't take a photo of the menu but captured this from their facebook page.

It's a saucy little number!

The Sandwich - Packer Po'Boy. The only thing "Packer-ish" about this is that the sausage is made in Green Bay. OK, that's fine, every sandwich needs a name. I only took the single photo so you can't see that the Cajun Farmer sausage were links that are cut length wise and run the length of the bun. The sausage has a little Cajun kick to it, but it's subtle. The sandwich description might lead you to think this is a spicy sandwich, and it is, but only mildly so, the jalapeno peppers are either very tame or used sparingly. The sweet red pepper aioli gives it a nice goo-factor, no need for the eggs to be runny on this sandwich, and the bread is hearty enough to keep the slop in check. Onions aren't included on enough breakfast sandwiches, maybe they think if you want onions you'll get an omelette, but they blend well on this number. Come to think of it, this sandwich is almost an omelette on a bun (which could be a good name for a sandwich). The potatoes were crisp and delicious.

The Result. 4.19 trips to Oregon out of 5 trips to Oregon. Mighty fine sandwich, it was. Like I said, if it had been a standard breakfast sandwich I might have passed on it, but I enjoyed the fresh approach. I actually think this sandwich should be a little spicier, but I suspect they toned it down for the average consumer. If you like spice I'll be you could request it with more heat, they seem to be very accommodating at Holstein Kitchen. Other than that I can't specify what I would do to improve this sandwich, it was very, very, good but didn't grab my taste buds enough to vault it into the high 4's. I guess that's just personal preference?  I want to note that the other two diners really enjoyed their meals but I can't remember what they ordered. We did get a piece of the Pain Perdue to share, and it was great, but it's the kind of thing I only want a few bites of. 

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #60 - Collectivo Coffee aka Vague Recollections

Sandwich: Bacon Biscuit
Location: Collectivo Coffee, Monroe St.
Date: July 3, 2016
Cost: $6.25

Collectivo Coffee is relatively new to Monroe Street, at least for me, since I'm rarely over there in the morning. Stopping here was a last minute decision and then I didn't sit down to write about it for over two weeks so this review is admittedly pretty weak.

That's a nice little hat.

The stuff!

The Sandwich - Bacon Biscuit. Eggs, cheddar, bacon. No options offered although they have a Veggie Sausage Biscuit that sounds like it has potential. I don't write down my thoughts when I'm eating these sandwiches so all I have to go on are my mental notes, which are shaky at best. What I recall of this sandwich is that while it was perfectly tasty, the consistency wasn't right for me. Everything was all mashed together and the biscuit texture reminded me of the corn muffins I had when I was a kid. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it just wasn't hitting me in the sweet spot. If you're reading this you know what eggs, bacon and cheddar taste like (really good) and this was exactly that.

The Result - 3.69 Vague Reviews out of 5 Vague Reviews. I noted in my year end round up that my rating scale varied a lot over the course of 2015 and in the middle of the year when I was consuming a lot of sandwiches I felt that my ratings were lower than during other parts of the year. It's too late to go back and revise those but I have to go with my gut feeling on this one so this sandwich just isn't up there with the rest of the pack. What I mean is that there are probably some sandwiches from middle of last year that are ranked lower than this one but that I enjoyed more. Blame the consistency, which is purely subjective. Also, I think it's a little pricey, but you do get to sit in a beautiful open-air space and have a delicious cold brew coffee. That is nice.

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #59 - Yola's Cafe aka Going Down Easy

Sandwich: Signature Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Yola's Cafe
Date: June 24, 2016
Cost: $5.99

Yola's Cafe is on the far west side and fell almost directly in my path on the way to an event. I have no idea how long they have been there but I lived out here many years ago and at that time it was a field, probably with a "For Sale" sign on it. (This was a sandwich shop, now it's all covered with flowers?)

I didn't live out here in 1976 but the point remains.

They have a Signature Sandwich...

...but oh, the options!

The Signature Sandwich, reposed.

This is a breakfast sandwich on a patio.

The Sandwich - Signature Breakfast Sandwich. I briefly considered building my own sandwich but decided to let The Signature plead it's case. You can see from the photo that they swapped out the mixed spring greens for leaf lettuce. The bacon was a little crispier than I would have liked, the egg was fried, the bread hearty, and lightly toasted. A ciabatta can hold a gooey mess together and could have handled a runny egg. The cheddar-herb cream cheese brought a proper amount of creamy consistency.

The Result - 3.8 Former Fields out of 5 Former Fields. This was a good sandwich but perhaps I should have gone with my gut instinct and built my own. This one was very smooth and went down quick and easy. It could have used more kick, sharp cheddar and a little hot sauce. I could have had red onion, and avocado and salsa. That would have been a wonderful mess. These are all things that speak to my preferences rather than this particular sandwich. I think the bottom line is that I went about my research in the wrong way on this morning. Still, it was a good sandwich.

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #58 - Crostini Sandwiches aka Down On The Corner

Sandwich: Bird's Nest BLT
Location: Crostini Sandwiches
Date: June 18, 2016
Cost: $6.25

Crostini Sandwiches has been cranking out flavor on the corner of North and East Johnson Streets for 3 years. The space used to be a Milio's and then briefly became an empanada shop that was never open when I tried to go there. It's currently sandwiched (that's right) between a retro/vintage stuff shop and a sketchy looking Asian Massage joint. It also happens to be my neighborhood sandwich shop, for which I feel very lucky. Everybody should have a place like this just down the street from their house.

I've had several Italian Beef sandwiches, the Crostini Combo and the Chicago Dog (not listed on their online menu) and they set my expectations high. I think the breakfast sandwich is a relatively new offering, or I just hadn't noticed it on the menu board before.

Saturdays Only!

To be perfectly clear - that is only half of the sandwich.

The Sandwich - Bird's Nest BLT. The only choice offered is the bread, white or 9 grain wheat. I went with the wheat and I ordered this sandwich to go. As with previous Crostini sandwiches, I was impressed and tantalized as soon as I opened the bag. The spring mix was piled on thick and it was one of those sandwiches you knew was going to require multiple napkins. Sloptastic! The bacon was crisp, the egg was fried and the bread was perfectly toasted but not quite up to the task at hand. You would need a baguette or something hardier than standard bread to keep this sandwich in check. The tomato was the only sub-par part of this sandwich and thats probably due to the time of the season.

The Result - 4.29 Corner Sandwich Shops out of 5 Corner Sandwich Shops. I've noticed my ratings are higher when I haven't had a breakfast sandwich for several weeks but still, this was a fine sandwich. I liked the ample amount of greens and the level of slop. Normally I like a runny egg but that wouldn't have worked on this one, the slop would have been UNCONTROLLABLE. Whatever. Crostini has yet to steer me wrong and I'm proud to call them my neighbor. 

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page

Breakfast Sandwich #57 - C's Restaurant & Bakery aka Mysteries of Middleton

Sandwich: Breakfast Croissant Sandwich
Location: C's Restaurant & Bakery
Date: May 1, 2016
Cost: $8.25, comes with hash browns

I had never heard of C's Restaurant & Bakery but I was passing through Middleton on a Sunday morning and there it was. So, here we are. It's in an old fast food location - they still have the drive up window - but I can't remember what used to be there. Maybe a KFC? Inside they've gone to some lengths to make it look less like a fast food joint. The results are something like Martha Stewart meets Country Farmhouse but they've done a good job of covering the KFC sad ham sheen with wallpaper featuring ducks or gingham or whatever. They've added a small diner-style counter with about 10 seats and a bakery case filled with items that are "homemade daily", according to the web site. As if that weren't enough they've built a gazebo outside for folks to hang out in while they wait for their table. It's a nice touch even if it is surrounded by asphalt. These are the kinds of things that happen in Middleton.

That's not a full sized dinner plate but it's still an ample sandwich. 

I wasn't happy with this cross section shot.

That's better.

The Sandwich - Breakfast Croissant Sandwich - ham, bacon or sausage patty on a grilled croissant with scrambled egg and choice of cheese served with hash browns. I choose bacon and cheddar cheese. I've noted before that a croissant isn't the ideal bread for a sandwich. The shape isn't right, that's part of it, but it's more than that. I think of the croissant as the proudest of the baked breads, and yes, perhaps it's even snooty. Is the croissant offended when chicken eggs and cheese and salt and fat get piled onto it? I think it might be. It's like going to a steakhouse and putting ketchup on your filet. That filet is pissed! Still, they look good and its fun to say "croissant". This croissant was more squishy than flakey but somehow it kept the sandwich together. You can see from the photo there was ample bacon, cheese and egg. The bacon was crisped just how I like it.

The Result - 3.89 Parking Lot Gazebos out of 5 Parking Lot Gazebos. This was a very good if not remarkable sandwich. I would have liked the eggs somewhat runny and the croissant wasn't really working for me although it did it's job despite turning into nothing more than a smashed doughy delivery system. The hash browns were solid although I like them done a little more so they have that outer crispy layer. I should also note that I ordered this to go and despite it being a full house on a Sunday morning the food came up quickly and the hostess transferred my coffee to a travel cup and I was on my way. They're running a tight ship over there in Middleton.

Follow on Twitter @BunBreakfast

Facebook page