Breakfast Sandwich #164 - Lab Report: Dos Huevos Slopper

Sandwich: Lab Sandwich - Two Chicken Eggs, Hashbrowns, Sharp Cheddar, Spicy Chili Crisp on a King Sized English Muffin

Location: The Lab

Date: December 6, 2020

I'm not going to pretend to remember much about a sandwich I made and ate over two months ago but I know that it was a hefty slopper and once I picked it up I couldn't put it down. It was tasty but a bit unwieldy. The Cheese was a processed sharp cheddar from Crystal Farms in Lake Mills so it had that nice melt to it. The Spicy Chili Crisp is always a nice addition to a sandwich and if you haven't tried it yet I'm not sure what you're waiting for - there's a pandemic going on and you should be experimenting with more hot sauces and making many sandwiches. It's that simple. 

Who's a big messy boy?

Breakfast Sandwich #154 - Eagle Crest Bar aka Snowy and Toasty

Sandwich: Egg Sandwich
Location: Eagle Crest Bar
Date: February 9, 2020
Cost: $7.25

I'd been to Eagle Crest before, but never for breakfast. In fact, I didn't know they served breakfast, but it was a windy and snowy Sunday morning that was ripe for adventure so I headed to Eagle Crest with a backup plan in place should breakfast not be an option. I didn't even look it up on my phone, I just drove. That's what passes for adventure in the 21st century.

They are well known for their giant burgers and I knew if they had a breakfast sandwich I'd be in for a heapin' helpin'. On a day like this when you're staring down a solid 75 minutes of shoveling snow, you may as well carbo-load early and let the day sort itself out. 

It was a solid plan. 

A rare photo of the entire menu

Were the hash browns necessary? No, they were not.

It practically defied stacking.

The Sandwich - Egg Sandwich. Bacon, Texas Toast, chicken eggs over-medium, pepper jack cheese. The cheese and the Texas Toast were the only shifts from my standard sandwich order but I felt the need to take advantage of the options provided. Importantly, they ask you how you would like your eggs cooked.

The sandwich arrives open face, resplendent in its overindulgence. That's a lot of damn bacon for one sandwich! We haven't been keeping track but that may be the most bacony sandwich to date. The cheese had a melty slump, just barely containing the shimmering yolks beneath.

I carefully assembled the bacon onto the egg half of the sandwich, tapping deep into my renowned Pick-Up Sticks skills, but in reverse. I didn't want to burst the yolk until the sandwich was fully constructed. Honestly, the bacon was overly crisped so it stacked more upright than I would have liked. Crowned with the Texas Toast, also a bit toastier than I care for, it stood up straight and tall, proud sandwich that it was. With a little pressure from the crown the yolks gave way and released the golden nectar of the bird. There we go. 

The sandwich had to be cut in half, it was simply unwieldy in its full state. Things became messy at this point and a few good napkins were sacrificed, but no photographic evidence exists of this disaster. 

The Result - 3.8 Snowy Sandwich Adventures out of 5 Snowy Sandwich Adventures. The sandwich was good but not great. The overly crisped (for my tastes) bacon and the overly toasted, slightly dry, Texas Toast were the knock on this sandwich. The double oozy yolks tried to make up for that and provided ample moisture mopping opportunities, but it wasn't quite enough. That sounds a bit more negative than intended because this was a good sandwich that could have been great with a few adjustments. And it was hearty! So hearty. But not heart-healthy. (I am not a doctor. Please consult with a physician before taking sandwich and/or heart advice from a blog.) You don't get breakfast sandwiches of this heft very often. 

Overall, Eagle Crest is a comfy Sunday morning spot that I recommend without hesitation. As noted here many times, part of the sandwich experience is about setting your day on the right track and that was accomplished here.

Also, the hash browns were perfectly crisped and that's worthy of praise.

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Breakfast Sandwich #153 - Wilson's Bar & Grill aka Sandwich Time Warp

Sandwich: Egg Sandwich
Location: Wilson's Bar & Grill
Date: February 2, 2020
Cost: $4.75

The stats don't lie but I would not have guessed that almost 4 years had passed since my last breakfast sandwich at Wilson's. It's crazy. If that wasn't crazy enough the price of the sandwich hasn't changed over that time either. The menu is different although the breakfast sandwich options remain the same. Wilson's is caught in a time warp and I think that's a good thing.

There are still dozens of televisions and if there is a game/match/contest/battle taking place somewhere in the world they'll probably put it on for you. I'm not sure if they'll change the channel on the monitors above the urinals in the men's room, but you can ask. You should ask. This particular morning was the day of Super Bowl LIV so the most compelling story in sports was broadcasters sticking microphones in front of random faces in Miami and asking them to say anything about the game taking place 8 hours later. I learned nothing.

Classic choices.

A bit of a glorious mess happening here.

The Sandwich - Chicken eggs over medium, bacon, American cheese on wheat toast. This was my standard Wilson's order in the years prior to this blog although I sometimes went with the rye bread.

We happened to be sitting directly across from the grill so the cook himself took our order and I could tell he was a man who takes pride in his work. I'll reiterate what I said in the last review about being able to order your eggs cooked as you like them - the importance of this cannot be overstated. This is a hill that myself and several chickens are willing to die on. Actually, the chickens have no say in the matter. It will not surprise you to learn that the eggs were cooked over medium with runny yolks. The bacon was just a touch crispier than I like it, as was the toast, and the cheese was served with a proper melt. There isn't anything of note to say about this sandwich except that it was a bit haphazardly assembled. You can kind of see it in the photo above. It didn't ruin the sandwich but these little details all come into play when we're looking at the big picture.

The Result - 4 Four Year Hiatuses out of 5 Four Year Hiatuses. The runny yolks offset the bacon and toast and made this a properly sloppy sandwich. Overall it was a solid sandwich but it had room for improvement. That's usually how it goes at Wilson's. I've had better sandwiches there and I've had worse. Not much changes at Wilson's and given how much flux the neighborhood has seen it's comforting to know you can still get a breakfast sandwich here that will point your day in the proper direction. The hash browns are also reliable and the bloody mary is delicious. My neighbor at the bar enjoyed a few whiskey and sodas while I had my sandwich and while that strikes me as a rough choice at 10 am, who am I to judge? His wife was probably at church and he wanted to watch an in-depth profile on Patrick Mahome's favorite wristbands.

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Breakfast Sandwich #150 - Einstein Bros. Bagels aka Should Have Stayed In Vegas

Sandwich: All-Nighter
Location: Einstein Bros.® Bagels
Date: December 28, 2019
Cost: $6.59

When I heard Einstein Bros.® Bagels had added a new breakfast sandwich to their menu I knew it was time to revisit them and see if things had improved since my last visit in 2015.  Things didn't go very well on that trip so there was a chance for redemption here. At the end of a calendar year, we all can get a bit reflective and redemption is often a by-product of that. Perhaps even your nearby chain bagel shop with hundreds of locations nationwide is worthy of a second chance?

The All-Nighter is their new sandwich, now available nationwide at participating locations. It debuted in Las Vegas with the angle that it offered consolation after a night of indulgences and it proved to be popular enough to expand to the full chain. At least that's how the story goes. It smells like marketing and PR bullshit to me, but who cares? Is the sandwich any good? This is all that matters.

It arrives from the kitchen (the counter, actually) pre-split.

       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For all the potential oozyness this sandwich has, there is a remarkable lack of oozyness.

 

The Sandwich - All-Nighter. Cheesy Hash Brown gourmet bagel with American cheese, bacon, eggs and a jalapeño garlic aioli. So much potential here. Brimming with opportunity. Spoiler alert - that potential is squandered. All of these chain places refuse to make runny eggs and the part-time employees are forced to cook with microwaves so it's hard to have high expectations, but that's what we do here. This sandwich does feature two chicken eggs, and if both of those were runny you'd have a real napkin-grabbing mess on your hands, literally. But wouldn't it be nice? The cheese could have been meltier, the bacon was fine. I'm going to focus on the bagel since they have "bagel" right there in their name. It was smaller and lighter than expected. It's a "Cheesy Hash Brown gourmet bagel", so I assume they mix hash browns right into the bagel, but it just struck me as a regular bagel. If it had more heft it could withstand the amount of sandwich slop I'm picturing in my head. (And let me tell you, this image is VIVID. I'm writing this on Sunday morning and I haven't eaten yet.) Even the jalapeño garlic aioli didn't really make its presence known in terms of flavor. It added some needed viscosity, but that was about it. 

The Result - 3.66 Things That Don't Always Stay In Vegas out of 5 Things That Don't Always Stay In Vegas. This isn't a bad sandwich but in the hands of a proper restaurant, it would be so much more. You know what it is? This is a $4.29 sandwich masquerading as a $6.59 sandwich. Every component of this sandwich left something to be desired and in the end, I was no longer hungry, but I was emotionally unsated. The hot chocolate I ordered helped with that. It usually does.

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Breakfast Sandwich #142 - Player's Sports Bar aka Friends Old and New

Sandwich: Buzzy with Sausage
Location: Player's Sports Bar & Grill
Date: September 21, 2019
Cost: $7.50, with cheesy hash browns

This sandwich was not planned. My visit to Player's came up at the last minute and since I hadn't eaten I knew I'd be revisiting my old friend. Until I sat down to write this I did not realize that it had been since January 1, 2018, that I'd had a Buzzy. There have been a few patty melts and burgers during that span, and at least one basket of chicken wings, but no breakfast sandwiches. 

I was ready for a Buzzy but I didn't know I was missing an important part of The Buzzy Sandwich Story. A cornerstone to the monument of the Buzzy had not yet been put in place. 

Specifically - I had never ordered it with sausage. I'm as shocked as you are. No, I'm several layers more shocked than you are. 

This seems impossible but when I looked back at my previous visits I realized that Sandwich #109 coincided with the period when the sausage option had been replaced by the burger patty. At some point the burger was wisely switched back to sausage and the options are once again ham, bacon, or sausage. 

Looking further back on the timeline, Breakfast Sandwich #100 was ordered with bacon as was Sandwich #69. Everybody knows the story of Sandwich #1. (No? Spoiler - it had bacon on it.)

I'm shocked but not ashamed. I like bacon and so do you, however, we strive to provide a wide swatch of informative sandwich opinions here and this oversight needed to be corrected. Toot Sweet.

It is very unlikely I'll order the version with ham, research be damned, so this post about sausage is as historic as writing about a breakfast sandwich can be. Gravitas with a side of gravy. 

This photo wasn't taken by a drone, it just looks that way. 

Wait just a daggum minute! Is that TWO sausage patties? Yes, it is. Also note, Hopalicious photo bomb. 

The Sandwich - Buzzy with Sausage. Other than choice of meat there are no other options offered for the Buzzy. I assume they always double up on the sausage patties since they are quite thin but I don't know that for a fact. They do always get that Texas toast just right. The American cheese was perfectly melty and the egg was just slightly runny. Take a good look at that photo and you know what this sandwich was all about - it was a salty, fatty, slightly crunchy, gooey and tasty treat.

The Result - 4.3 Corrected Oversights out of 5 Corrected Oversights. In short, the sausage version gives the bacon version a good run for it's money. It's a win-win situation (not for your arteries), and since both versions are both equally bad for your aortas and ventricles, choose whichever your heart desires. The Buzzy is a classic, simple breakfast sandwich. It does benefit greatly from it's surroundings as I notice when I look back at my previous reviews that all five of the Buzzy's have been consumed on a weekend during football season. The atmosphere at Player's on a football Saturday is a perfect compliment to this sandwich - folks attending the game are getting a quick bite in before heading out to the game and everybody else is settling onto a bar stool to watch it on the teevee. If you're lucky and you choose the right stool you'll make a new friend like I did. His name is Herbie and he likes sports. I wish he had ordered a Buzzy as he would have made a helluva guest reviewer, but it wasn't in the cards on this day.

I came away with a new friend and the realization that my old friend the Buzzy Sandwich had a tasty side to him that I was unaware of.

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Breakfast Sandwich #103 - Norske Nook aka Open Your Pie Hole

Sandwich: Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap
Location: Norske Nook (Deforest)
Date: October 25, 2017
Cost: I forgot to look. I guess I can't complain about the cost.

If you're talking about Norske Nook you're talking about pie and that's the way it should be. It turns out they have a full menu although that menu does not contain a breakfast sandwich. Maybe that's not how the Norwegians roll. Ingen frokost sandwich. They do have something called the Lefse-dilla which is probably exactly what we think it is but I didn't order it or actually see one.

An omelete lefse wrap is in no way a sandwich. I'm not even sure it's a thing - I think Norske Nook is just making shit up (see "lefse-dilla" if you doubt that)! Nobody is claiming it's a sandwich. That's OK, we're at sandwich #103 and at this point the rules were made to be broken. There have already been reviews of crepes and open-faced sandwiches. Maybe I'll review a breakfast hot dog soon and that sure as heck is not a sandwich.

Nobody cares. We should talking about pie.

I forgot to take a photo of the menu but I can tell you that my omelete lefse wrap included scrambled egg, hash browns, sausage, cheese and was topped with hollandaise sauce.

This is not a sandwich or a piece of pie and I'm not sure why we're even looking at it. Do you like your pie al a mode or a la hollandaise? That's just gross. 

The Sandwich - Smothered Omelete Lefse Wrap. Right off the bat I'm going to admit to not being a big fan of hollandaise. I have only had one previous sandwich with hollandaise and that was almost exactly two years ago to this date. That's the last time I had hollandaise sauce. Maybe it's better in its natural habitat as part of eggs benedict. It should probably be confined to that usage, a guy like me doesn't need to see it all over the place. I'm biased. Maybe you feel otherwise. Anyway, what about this non-sandwich wrap? I would have liked the hash browns crispier and the chicken eggs were scrambled which makes sense for this wrap but isn't how I like them. The sausage was unassuming which isn't what I'm looking for in a cased meat product. Then there is the hollandaise, which struck me as an afterthought but does add some needed viscosity to the whole affair. Without it I may have been tempted to do something dumb like put ketchup on this which doesn't really make sense but brings us back around full circle to the thought of "does this lefse wrap make sense?"

The Result - 3 Pie Holes out of 5 Pie Holes. I haven't even mentioned the pie yet which is really what I should have been talking about the entire time. Wait. This wrap was fine. It was just OK. It was not greater than the sum of its parts in fact it may have been lesser than the sum of its parts. I'm sounding harsher than I mean to. It does seem a bit unfair to be overly critical of a non-sandwich on a sandwich blog, and I honestly don't mean to be. This wrap lacked personality. Not even the jaunty hollandaise sauce could put a twinkle in it's eye but ultimately it was fine. 

The Pie - They aren't messin' around when comes to pie at Norske Nook. The placemat (photo not available) is the entire list of pies that might be available including "retired" pies. The retired pies are apparently not really retired but are not as available as they used to be. I think they're consultants at this point. Then there are all the other pies - cream pies, fruit pies, mixtures of cream and fruit and so forth. It's confusing and overwhelming. Some pies are seasonal. It's like some kind of game show. You just have to ask what they have that day and invariably your first choice is not available. I was prepared for this and it's exactly what happened. My second choice was also not available. I think it might be some kind of social experiment - no matter what you order they say they don't have it. In reality there is some pie-obsessed madman in back who has baked every damn kind of pie on earth and he just wants to see your reaction when you are denied. Children cry, old people get angry and the pie guy laughs his fool head off. I want his job. 

I ended up ordering a slice of classic blueberry pie (photo not available) and I was fine with that. Here is the best part - when you order your pie they ask "would you like that warm and with ice cream?" This is where the madman redeems himself. Once you get your warm pie with two adorable scoops of ice cream you forgive him for making a mockery of your pie plight. His gales of derision are forgotten with each bite and when your plate is clean you think "he wasn't so crazy after all".

I think I have the makings of a Norwegian style fairy tale going here - "Gal Kake Mann"

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Breakfast Sandwich #57 - C's Restaurant & Bakery aka Mysteries of Middleton

Sandwich: Breakfast Croissant Sandwich
Location: C's Restaurant & Bakery
Date: May 1, 2016
Cost: $8.25, comes with hash browns

I had never heard of C's Restaurant & Bakery but I was passing through Middleton on a Sunday morning and there it was. So, here we are. It's in an old fast food location - they still have the drive up window - but I can't remember what used to be there. Maybe a KFC? Inside they've gone to some lengths to make it look less like a fast food joint. The results are something like Martha Stewart meets Country Farmhouse but they've done a good job of covering the KFC sad ham sheen with wallpaper featuring ducks or gingham or whatever. They've added a small diner-style counter with about 10 seats and a bakery case filled with items that are "homemade daily", according to the web site. As if that weren't enough they've built a gazebo outside for folks to hang out in while they wait for their table. It's a nice touch even if it is surrounded by asphalt. These are the kinds of things that happen in Middleton.

That's not a full sized dinner plate but it's still an ample sandwich. 

I wasn't happy with this cross section shot.

That's better.

The Sandwich - Breakfast Croissant Sandwich - ham, bacon or sausage patty on a grilled croissant with scrambled egg and choice of cheese served with hash browns. I choose bacon and cheddar cheese. I've noted before that a croissant isn't the ideal bread for a sandwich. The shape isn't right, that's part of it, but it's more than that. I think of the croissant as the proudest of the baked breads, and yes, perhaps it's even snooty. Is the croissant offended when chicken eggs and cheese and salt and fat get piled onto it? I think it might be. It's like going to a steakhouse and putting ketchup on your filet. That filet is pissed! Still, they look good and its fun to say "croissant". This croissant was more squishy than flakey but somehow it kept the sandwich together. You can see from the photo there was ample bacon, cheese and egg. The bacon was crisped just how I like it.

The Result - 3.89 Parking Lot Gazebos out of 5 Parking Lot Gazebos. This was a very good if not remarkable sandwich. I would have liked the eggs somewhat runny and the croissant wasn't really working for me although it did it's job despite turning into nothing more than a smashed doughy delivery system. The hash browns were solid although I like them done a little more so they have that outer crispy layer. I should also note that I ordered this to go and despite it being a full house on a Sunday morning the food came up quickly and the hostess transferred my coffee to a travel cup and I was on my way. They're running a tight ship over there in Middleton.

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Breakfast Sandwich #52 - Wilson's Sports Bar & Grill aka Give Me The Remote

Sandwich: Egg Sandwich
Location: Wilson's Sports Bar & Grill
Date: March 5, 2016
Cost: $4.75

Over the past several years I've probably eaten more breakfast sandwiches at Wilson's than at any other spot. Friends had tipped me off that they make a solid egg sandwich and it became a somewhat regular stop on weekends, especially during football season when the bar atmosphere can take on a certain je ne sais quoi.

When this breakfast sandwich blog idea was hatched Wilson's was #2 on the list and I thought it would be one of the first places I would visit. For no particular reason, that didn't happen.

It's all about the options

It was kind of dark in there, I'm surprised this photo turned out at all.

That's what we're looking for.

The Sandwich - Eggs over-medium, bacon, American cheese on rye. You have options at Wilson's. As soon as you walk in you get to decide which of the regulars you want to sit next to at the bar, or rather, which televised sporting event you want to be situated in front of. They have several hundred televisions showing a variety of sports so you should be able to find something you like. I chose a Women's Beach Cricket Tournament, coming in live on satellite from Calcutta. (Thanks to the Rajasthan Lady Tigers I won 200 rupee from the guy sitting next to me). For the breakfast sandwich you can order your egg as you like it, choice of meat as seen on the menu, choice of American, swiss or pepper jack cheese (I think) and choice of bread (wheat, rye, white, maybe sourdough?) I'm going off memory here on the cheese and bread, I didn't even ask what they had since I already knew what I was ordering.

My bacon was a tiny bit overdone as was the egg. There was plenty of melty cheese though so that kind of made up for the egg. The bread could have been toasted a bit more also. 

The Result - 3.9 televisions out of 5 televisions. The sandwich was pretty good but I know they can do better. They have been more consistent in the past. Today wasn't quite their day, these things happen. Still, it was an enjoyable sandwich and I like that there are several options available so you can build your sandwich as you like it. The price is right too. The hash browns weren't up to their usual level either. They were a little underdone, but somehow had an overly hard layer of melted cheese on the bottom. All that said, I know I'll be back, probably right around the time the Badger football team starts conference play. 

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