Breakfast Sandwich #42 - Subway aka Purely Research

Sandwich: Bacon, Egg & Cheese
Location: Subway (East Washington Ave & Hwy 51)
Date: November 13, 2015
Cost: $3.50

Several weeks ago I told myself I was done reviewing fast food or chain restaurant sandwiches. It's a waste of time, money and calories and we're surrounded by delicious options here in Madison, so why bother? That's what I told myself.

But, every morning during my short commute I scan the radio dial and generally end up listening to some sports talk radio. Although my drive is only about 10 minutes, I almost always hear a commercial for Subway breakfast sandwiches. It's like they're taunting me. Daring me. Teasing me. How bad can they be? A better question might be, how good can they be? These are the types of questions that lead to this endeavor, and after all, this isn't about my desires, it's science.

I chose the Subway that I drive past every day even though a coworker once claimed it to be the "worst Subway in Madison". I don't know how she came to that conclusion, but it is the same location where a different coworker was once referred to by another patron as "a little sexy bitch". True story.

Umm, there it is.

Teeming with lost potential.

The Sandwich - I went with the Bacon, Egg & Cheese as it seems like a staple and they didn't have another interesting option that I wanted to try. They have one with steak but Subway steak sounds like a recipe for disappointment, at best. The flat bread you see in the photos is the standard breakfast sandwich option but you can opt for any of their regular breads if you prefer. The next choice is egg whites or yellow. All of this is already cooked, they just put it in the magic box thing to warm it up. After that you have the choice of all their regular vegetable toppings and dressings. I wanted to add something, but didn't want to bury the cornerstone ingredients. I went with pepper rings, a light squirt of chipotle dressing and a dash of black pepper.

The Result - 2.98 regrets out of of 5 regrets. I probably should have trusted my instincts and either skipped this review entirely or at least loaded up the sandwich with red onion and spinach and maybe red peppers. As it was, it was just bland. The flat bread could have used a little more toasting, the bacon was paper thin and didn't seems to bring any flavor to the sandwich. How does that happen? I'm sure it's cooked in a massive kitchen fortress in another state and then loaded on a truck and somewhere along the line the flavor falls off and nobody is the wiser until some poor sucker orders a sandwich. The pepper rings and the bread were the predominant flavors. I have to take responsibility for passing on the other ingredients but we all know a great breakfast sandwich can hold it's own with just the basics. This wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. It just, was.

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Breakfast Sandwich #41 - Cafe Hollander aka West Side (Sandwich) Story

Sandwich: Pretzel Breakfast Sammy
Location: Cafe Hollander
Date: October 30, 2015
Cost: $10.95, with Hollander potatoes

A few people have pointed out to me that my reviews are focused on the East side which makes sense because that's where I live. West side locations haven't intentionally been neglected but that's how it has shaken out thus far.

I have been spending more time on the West side recently and had heard that Cafe Hollander was open in the Hilldale Mall. A quick perusal of the menu confirmed my suspicion that they would have a breakfast sandwich so I made plans to visit. Coincidentally, right after making my plans I received a note from a friend who had recently had a breakfast sandwich at one of their Milwaukee locations and raved about it. Sometimes the toppings align that way and you just have to roll with it.

Since the place is new I'll mention that the space itself looks great and is huge. It has an upstairs and the ground floor is broken up so everything isn't all in one area. I found it to be a very comfortable room to walk into and they sat me in an area with lots of late morning natural light.

The Pretzel Sandwich caught my eye on the web site and was my reason for making the stop.

You can't tell from the photo but that is an oversize plate.

A river of hollandaise runs through it.

The Sandwich - Pretzel Breakfast Sammy. Did you look at the menu description of this sandwich yet? It sounds crazy, yes? It is crazy. It's fitting that I ordered this the day before Halloween because this sandwich is a MONSTER. When it came out the waiter offered some Cholula Hot Sauce, which I accepted, although I'm not sure it needed anything else added, in fact, it needed less. My first thought was that there was just too much hollandaise for my taste. In addition to the hollandaise there is the herb garlic cheese AND the Muenster. Things got overly sloppy right out of the gate. I put the pretzel roll top on and tried to pick it up for a bite. That just wasn't going to work. There was still a significant amount of hollandaise covered egg hanging out, and when I took a bite the ham started to make a break for it out the other side. Right then I knew I'd just have to eat it with a fork. I had the distinct feeling that this wasn't a health conscious meal. The bacon and Muenster kind of got lost in the sauce and the hollandaise and the ham essentially took over. The pretzel roll never stood a chance.

The Result - 3.65 Rivers of Hollandaise out of 5 Rivers of Hollandaise. I had such high expectations but was put off by the amount of hollandaise and general sloppiness of the sandwich. I'm sure personal preference was a big part of it and your relationship with hollandaise would certainly come into play here. I'm not even sure it needs it, I might have preferred this with just the Muenster and herb garlic cheese. Looking at the menu now the Belt & A sandwich might have been a better choice for me and my arteries. I know I'll go back to try one of the seven (SEVEN!) bloody mary options and the Belt & A may get a later review. I think I just made a bad choice that day and I look forward to going back for a fresh take. I should also mention that the breakfast potatoes were the perfect amount of crispy. 

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Breakfast Sandwich #40 - Gotham Bagels aka Just A Sandwich Review

Sandwich: Heritage Ham, Smoked Gouda & Egg on Rye Bread
Location: Gotham Bagels
Date: October 17, 2015
Cost: $6

I usually only stop at Gotham Bagels if I'm already headed to the Farmer's Market and even then I don't always have time. I have had their sandwiches but I'm almost positive I had not tried a breakfast sandwich. The Saturday morning I went happened to be the day of a home football game, Homecoming Weekend specifically, so the place was a sea of Badger gear. Still, there were a few seats open, the line moved quickly and it looked like all the folks standing around were just waiting for food to go.

Note that the menu in my photo differs from the menu on their web site.

That Spicy Italian Sausage almost had me but I was enticed by the smoked gouda.

Have you ever felt like you made the right choice?

I had to document what was under the hood.

The Sandwich - Heritage Ham, Smoked Gouda & Egg on Rye with a side of stone ground mustard. When I ordered the sandwich the cashier said, "good choice, I eat that a lot". I asked if she ordered it on rye, which she does, and then she recommended mustard. I'm a mustard guy so I took it on the side. This is a beautiful sandwich - as I walked back to my stool after picking it up a woman I passed remarked "that looks awesome". I'm pretty sure she was talking about my sandwich. I put just the thinnest sheen of mustard on the bread and was glad I held back. Much more than that might have overpowered the flavors here although that may just be my personal taste. The ham is salty and sweet and sliced melt-in-your-mouth thin. The smokey gouda flavor comes though and really works with the ham. The chicken egg could have been a little gooey but I'm not complaining. Rye bread. You don't get a lot of breakfast sandwiches on rye and it's a refreshing change. I was thinking that I should get it on a bagel if only as a matter of principal but bagels are not the ideal sandwich delivery system and I'm glad I squashed that inner voice. That unassuming hole in the middle of a bagel can cause serious problems. As mentioned, the tiny bit of stone ground mustard went a long way and I'm glad I ordered it on the side. Most sandwich makers are heavy handed with the condiments and I feel that it's one of the more pressing issues facing society today. I couldn't take that risk.

The Result - 4.58 Not Bagel Sandwiches out of 5 Not Bagel Sandwiches. I don't know what else I can say about it, it was a great sandwich. Their other offerings are tempting and there is no doubt I'll go back to try the Spicy Italian Sausage option. The rating was bolstered a bit by the absolutely perfect autumn morning and the cashier's helpful suggestion. These things matter. If a great sandwich can alter the outlook of your day then the inverse must be true too. I can't show my work proving that point but I'm going with it.

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Diversions - Some Canadian Guy Named Ken Eats A Burger King Double CROISSAN'WICH™ with Sausage & Bacon

Better him than me. I'd never seen any of his reviews and stumbled on to this one when I wanted to find out where the term Croissan'wich came from. This guy really likes fast food.

If you want to skip all the nonsense just jump to 4:20 in the video, that's when the sandwich comes out.

Spoiler alert - his Burger King breakfast experience was way better than mine was.

Breakfast Sandwich #39 - Rosie's Coffee Bar and Bakery aka B-B-B-B-Biscuit

Sandwich: Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Rosie's Coffee Bar and Bakery
Date: October 3, 2015
Cost: $3.99

Rosie's is relatively new to the Monona area (it's technically in Madison) and I had stopped in for doughnuts and pour over coffee, but never had a sandwich there. Monona doesn't have a lot of options for breakfast, Crema Cafe is just down the road from Rosie's (and is also technically in Madison) so while the options are few, there are quality sandwiches to be had. As far as Monona proper, there is that Denny's* down on Broadway that has been there forever. They have The Waypoint Public House now and I'll probably review their breakfast sandwich, it screams of potential. Oh, I guess there is also the Green Forest Family Restaurant. There are probably a few more options but I'm not going to dig into them now. Maybe Antler's serves breakfast?

I didn't take a photo of the menu but the info is listed somewhat incompletely on their web site:

Breakfast sandwich made with choice of biscuits or croissant, $3.99. At the restaurant you are given the choice of bacon, sausage or ham.

Compared to my usual crappy photos this one looks pretty good. The sausage patty is a little wonky but that didn't bother me. 

That's a nice looking biscuit.

The Sandwich - Sausage on Biscuit. I had to go with the sausage after indulging in BLT sandwiches and the leftover bacon earlier in the week. I was also in a biscuity mood and think it makes for a better sandwich than a croissant anyway. These turned out to be wise choices as the biscuit was light and buttery and kept everything in place. What is it about a great biscuit that sets it apart from the other breads? Some kind of alchemy or something. I was happy with the sausage choice upon first bite. It wasn't too salty which is always my concern when ordering sausage and it paired perfectly with the biscuit. The egg and cheese were wonderful but insert my usual comment about preferring a runny egg. 

The Result - 4.31 places that aren't really in Monona out of 5 places that aren't really in Monona. This was a mighty fine sandwich indeed. Simple and basic but fresh and tasty. It was a pleasure to get acquainted with this sandwich and the price is right too. Early on a Saturday the space is relaxing and the coffee is fantastic. 

*However you feel about Denny's their online menu is pretty slick. The have a "Randomize" button and you can select options you want such as "sandwiches" that contain "egg" and it pulls up the items that are available.  

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Breakfast Sandwich #38 - Avenue Club aka The Debutante Sandwich

Sandwich: B.E.L.T. Breakfast Sandwich
Location: Avenue Club and the Bubble Up Bar
Date: September 19, 2015
Cost: $10 served with choice of mixed greens or breakfast potatoes.

Everybody in Madison already knows the Avenue Bar was recently closed for remodeling and retooling and is now known as Avenue Club and the Bubble Up Bar. It almost sounds like the title of a Hardy Boys book or Scooby Doo episode - The Avenue Gang Solves The Case Of The Bubble Up Bar. Maybe not. Most likely everybody will still call it "The Avenue" and I would be skeptical of anybody that refers to it as the Avenue Club, or worse, the Bubble Up Bar.

They have reopened and Saturday was their first day serving brunch. This gave me the opportunity to get the very first breakfast sandwich served from the kitchen. I arrived exactly at 8:00 and there was already a group of four seated and at least one other person who had arrived just before me. As far as restaurants go it's a fairly large space and I ended up sitting in at the Bubble Up Bar, so I don't know if I actually was the first person to order the breakfast sandwich. I'm somewhat confident the four top didn't order the breakfast sandwich - they were older folks and that generation remembers a time when breakfast sandwiches didn't exist AND THEY LIKED IT THAT WAY.

Or did they? In Breakfast: A History, Heather Arndt Anderson references a cookbook from 1897 by Maud C. Cooke that contains a breakfast sandwich recipe. The book has the delightful title of Breakfast, Dinner And Supper, Or What To Eat And How To Prepare It: Containing All The Latest Approved Recipes ... Including Hygienic And Scientific Cooking, Rules For Dinner Giving... They sure knew how to name books back then. I have to admit I haven't read either of these books but after learning more about Maud I think I'd like to have a sandwich with her.

Maud also published a book titled Social Life, or, The Manners and Customs of Polite Society which contains this gem regarding courting - "The charming and fascinating power of serpents over birds is as nothing compared with that a woman can wield over a man, and he over her." Maud - your insight cuts to the bone!

In reference to musical entertainment at a soiree or lawn party, there is this advice which seems to reveal that there have always been blowhards who will ruin a concert with their yammering:

"When any one is playing or singing, let the company preserve silence, and if they should converse, let it be in the lowest tones. To interrupt a performer is the worst possible taste. Instrumental performers have as much right to expect the courtesy of silence as vocalists. The hostess has the privilege of indicating, to a noisy group, by a gesture, her desire for silence. Those who will talk should at least withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the instrument. If asked to play an accompaniment, do so, not to display your own accomplishments, but so as to afford the best possible support for the singer."

So, anyway, I don't think the old people ordered the breakfast sandwich. I'm going to assume that I was the first person to do so. When the debut breakfast sandwich came out of the kitchen there was no fanfare, the staff didn't crowd around and clap or sing a song about sandwiches. Its almost like they didn't realize the gravity of the situation. Perhaps they were indifferent, which would be sad.

The Avenue offers two breakfast sandwiches:

B.E.L.T. Breakfast Sandwich
Fried egg, crisp bacon, mixed greens, tomato, and Widmer's brick cheese spread on a grilled sourdough roll, served with your choice of mixed greens or breakfast potatoes.

Egg and Avocado
A toasted English muffin, chunky avocado, sunny side up egg, and grilled tomatoes drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and sherry vinegar-honey reduction.

It has one of those club sandwich decorative toothpick thingys! 

Layers, revealed.

The Sandwich - I went with the B.E.L.T. with the side of mixed greens. The avocado sandwich sounded good as well but that will have to wait until a later visit. The chicken egg is fried, as advertised, and I would have preferred it over-medium or runny in some capacity. The mixed greens listed in the description were replaced with romaine lettuce. I don't know if they did this because I ordered the mixed greens on the side but I was fine with the romaine - it gave the sandwich a whiff of a healthy crunch. Brick cheese isn't offered on many breakfast sandwiches and I found that to be refreshing. I felt like there was a little extra layer of something creamy on here, maybe some mayo? Maybe it was just the cheese. The tomato was fine, the bacon was fine, the roll was fine although it didn't really seem grilled. The best way to describe this sandwich may be to say that it was perfectly OK. Not bad. Not great. Just good. I think its biggest flaw is it is served on a hearty roll and yet the contents don't require it. This sandwich could be twice as sloppy as it already is and it wouldn't be too much to handle. 

The mixed greens on the side were tossed with radish and red onion. It seems that all breakfast greens are served with a tangy dressing and these were no exception. They were slightly overdressed for my tastes, but not soggy, and they were delicious. 

The Result - 3.03 Maud C. Cooke's out of 5 Maud C. Cooke's? What rating is perfectly middle of the pack? Mathematically speaking, on a scale of 1-5, I suppose 2.5 would be perfectly average. That feels too low though and I'm not going to go back through the previous reviews to see how this should slot in, but 3.03 sounds about right.

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Breakfast Sandwich #37 - Einstein Bagels aka It Doesn't Take A Genius

Sandwich: Applewood Bacon & Cheddar on a Green Chile Bagel
Location: Einstein Bros. Bagels (East Washington Ave.)
Date: September 11, 2015
Cost: $4.50*

Einstein Bros Bagels is another chain restaurant that's been around Madison for years. I have no idea how they came to be named Einstein but it doesn't appear to have anything to do with that smart fella Albert. Occasionally a coworker brings some of their bagels and coffee into the office but that's about the extent of my interaction with them. I have a vague recollection of stopping at one in Indiana and getting a breakfast sandwich to fuel a Sunday morning drive home, but that was several years ago.

The point is, I knew they had breakfast sandwiches but I wasn't sure I had tried one. With a busy weekend in front of me I stopped in on a Friday morning so I could keep up with the sandwich calendar. Back in May I was ahead of schedule on researching 52 breakfast sandwiches but it's tough to keep up during the summer and now I am exactly on track - if I skip a week I'll be behind schedule. You have no idea how stressful this is. (It really isn't but it does cause me to question my level of dedication.) At a time when science seems to be an afterthought, particularly in Wisconsin, I feel the least I can do is to stick with my research although grant money for the Sandwich Sciences has all but dried up. It's literally crumbs at this point.

I didn't take a photo of the menu but they have several options of egg sandwich available.

It was immediately apparent that ordering this sandwich on the Green Chile bagel was a mistake.

It looks even worse from this angle

The Sandwich - Applewood Bacon & Cheddar on a Green Chile Bagel. You get your choice of bagel and I saw the little sign for Green Chili and it sounded intriguing so I made the choice. The initial order was for an Onion bagel and then I changed it. I don't how the green chili bagels come to be, but I assumed they would have some chilis cooked into the dough and that would be it. When I unwrapped the sandwich at work it looked like they had dumped a can of roasted green chilis on the top. Or, maybe it had been dropped back behind the counter where nobody ever cleans. Or, maybe something worse.

You can see that it wasn't particularly brimming with bacon or cheese, but the egg looked alright. I don't know how much one can expect of a sandwich at a place like this. The whole thing seems to be cooked in microwaves. I should have paid closer attention but I didn't realize I was in a downward sandwich spiral. Speaking of downward spirals, there is a restaurant in Atlanta called The Vortex that looks promising.

Wait a second, I'm not done complaining about the bagel. The biggest problem with the green chili bagel is the texture. Not the bagel part, the chili part. If you've ever roasted chilis you know how they feel in your hands - slimy. That's how they feel in your mouth as well. Slimy is not a descriptor you want for your sandwich at 8:30 in the morning.

The Result - 2.95 Alberts out of 5 Alberts. Albert Einstein probably wouldn't have been as impulsive as myself and may have looked over the complete selection of bagels before making his choice. That would have been the smart thing to do. I have to accept some responsibility for ordering this sandwich the way that I did, but, I can only review the sandwich as it was presented. Sliminess aside, the chilis had a nice heat to them, not overly spicy, but a good kick. They really ended up being the only distinct flavor of the sandwich. Bites from the edges that didn't have chilis were rather bland - no salty bacon flavor, no sharp cheddar - although the texture was much better. I'm not sure if eating this on an onion bagel would have changed much other than the texture.

*I think the sandwich was $4.50. It may have been $4.75. By the time I got home from work I had lost the receipt.

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